Insider: I'm sorry, did you say contract? What contract?

It's a wonderful life, if you can get one. Millions of dollars, expensive sports cars, reservations in the finest restaurants, babes. ...

After two seasons in Baltimore, Miguel Tejada wants out. (Getty Images)

And, of course, stacked odds that before your lucrative contract expires, when the relationship between you and your employer sours, you'll almost certainly have full power to steer yourself into another soft landing place.

Doesn't it sleigh you? (Yes, Strunk and White fans, hold your e-mails, slay is the accurate spelling, but it's Christmas-time).

Manny Ramirez in Boston, Miguel Tejada in Baltimore, Alex Rodriguez in Texas a couple of winters ago ... they want it all, demand it all and, usually, get it all. They squeeze every dollar they can get. Then, when things go wrong, when the franchise creaks under the weight of all that dough, or when they can no longer go out to dinner unencumbered (come on, Manny), they look for the nearest emergency exit.

Or ... the club finally comes to realize that the long-term reality of a lopsided player payroll isn't worth the instant gratification moment when they unveiled a new pricey star to season ticket holders. And so it hangs a Mike Hampton on the last-year's-style rack and looks for every opportunity to dump the contract.

Question: Which one will still be pitching for Toronto in the fifth year of his contract -- A.J. Burnett or B.J. Ryan? Or, neither?

"These contracts never work out," one general manager groaned as the winter meetings wrapped up last week in Dallas.

Say this: Boston's 2003 World Series title with Ramirez notwithstanding, the reality is, the long-term winter free agent contracts rarely please both the player and the club for the duration of the deal.

Look, Santa's made a list:

• A-Rod played in Texas for only three of the 10 years on his deal before deciding it seemed like an eternity already because the team stunk. Result: He steered himself right into the Bronx and his reputation took a big hit as many in the industry -- and many fans -- began to view him as a greedy mercenary.

• Manny does not want to fulfill his commitment to Boston. Result: Still pending. And earth to Manny, part of the deal in signing a monster contract like that and agreeing to go to a baseball-mad city is that, believe it or not, you'll actually be recognized in public. Deal with it.

• Tejada is unhappy in Baltimore. Result: Still pending as owner Peter Angelos continues to run the Orioles into the ground.