A-Rod: Consider this your invitation to Chicago

CHICAGO (AP) -The Bronx is lovely in the summer, really. What with the chirps of the boo birds, the friendly neighbors and the tranquil, get-away-from-it-all atmosphere, it's no wonder Alex Rodriguez likes New York so much.

But let's just say he does get evicted, er, wants a change of scenery. Might we suggest the North Side of Chicago as the perfect spot for his new summer home.

The conditions are ideal: a manager who brought out the best in him, a city eager for someone to adore, good restaurants, less traffic, cheaper housing, an actual beach where he can work on his tan.

Best of all, nobody would really care if he wins or not. These are the Chicago Cubs we're talking about.

"Alex has control in this situation, and the Yankees are happy with Alex," Rodriguez's agent, Scott Boras, said Thursday. "He really likes New York, and he's going to stay there."

That's all well and good, but let's be realistic.

His marriage with the New York Yankees has been as turbulent as Britney and K-Fed's, and his prospects for long-term happiness aren't much better. The Yankees are Derek Jeter's team, New York his town, and Rodriguez is always going to be the odd man out.

So chuck that no-trade clause, tell the Yankees to find a deal and come to Chicago. It may be the Second City, but you'll be the No. 1 guy here.

Chicago's most obvious selling point, of course, is new Cubs manager Lou Piniella. That would be the same Piniella who managed Rodriguez in Seattle, where he had some of the best seasons of his career. You know, the ones that got him that monstrous $252 million, 10-year contract in the first place.

Piniella might be one of the best strategists in the game, but the guy knows something about hitting, too. And A-Rod could use the help, even after those 35 homers and 121 RBIs last season - few of which ever seemed to come at quite the right time.

"Lou and Alex have a very good relationship," Boras acknowledged. "They had some very good seasons together."

Feel all that tension disappear the minute you land at O'Hare, too. While New Yorkers can't get over the fact Rodriguez isn't the second coming of Babe Ruth, that won't be a problem in Chicago. Cubs fans don't just accept disappointment, they expect it. Maybe even take a sick form of pride in it.

How else to explain all those folks strolling the streets in Kerry Wood and Mark Prior jerseys? Or Wrigley Field being packed day after day when the roster features guys like Augie Ojeda, Chris Stynes and Felix Heredia?