Arizona Diamondbacks

Power Rankings

Date	Ranking	Previous
01/26/2012	8	6
Good business: The key piece in the Trevor Cahill deal was a prospect only a few months younger than Cahill. What did I miss here? Bad business: Jason Kubel isn't as good as the guy he's replacing in left field, but I'm OK with his addition if the D-backs use Gerardo Parra in center to spell Chris Young against righty pitchers. I've probably spent more time thinking about this than necessary. Prognosis as of 11:14 a.m. GMT on Jan. 26, 2012: They're the class of a nosepicker division.
10/31/2011	6	7
2011 eulogy: Ssshhh! OK, I think I hear them coming -- get into place, everybody ... On the count of three ... Surprise!!!!!!! Ha -- gotcha! Oh, you should've seen the look on your face ... No, I'm not familiar with trespassing laws in this municipality. Why do you ask? Offseason to-do list: Bulk up the back of the rotation. They've had decent luck in recent years with American League refugees, so maybe they can shop in the Freddy Garcia/Bruce Chen aisle ... Check in from time to time with Stephen Drew's orthopedist, as Willie Bloomquist is only a starter-caliber option in leagues that award bonus runs for grass stains ... Extend a long-term deal to Miguel Montero, who's the best player you've never heard of, unless you like the Diamondbacks, play fantasy baseball or have more than a passing interest in the sport. Odds of achieving Cardinals-like glory in 2012: Is it possible that they have fewer holes to fill than any other 2011 playoff participant? Indeed it is.
09/28/2011	7	9
What went right: They won 90+ games with 78-win talent, which stands as the season's greatest, most unexpected source of mirth and wonder ... Even the post-clinch celebration was a delight, with the D-Backs taking a group dip in the outfield pool ... As much as J.J Putz and secret-unsung-heroweapon David Hernandez restored bullpen sanity following the 2010 disaster, don't forget to throw some love in the general direction of the Kennedy/Hudson/Collmenter/Saunders quartet. What went wrong: There remain individuals within the organization who believe that Willie Bloomquist is a capable everyday player. Whoever disavows them of that foolish notion before Saturday should get a full share of the playoff loot. Regular-season epilogue: My wife asked me about playoff matchups just now. When I got to the Diamondbacks, she cut me off: "The Diamondbacks? I thought they sucked." So there's your no-respect card -- go ahead and play it.
09/20/2011	9	7
They're cutting it closer than anyone would like. Happily, they don't have to go it alone; they can rely on the hotter-than-Equatorial-Guinea Giants engaging in self-defeating lineup shenanigans, like sitting Brandon Belt against a righty pitcher after he homered two days in a row. Postscript: Belt homered again the day after his benching. ... Gaaaa. This is the Arizona blurb, not the San Fran one, so let's point out how the stretch-run addition of superprospect Jarrod Parker makes the bullpen far more interesting -- interesting in the sense that post-Tommy-John-surgery 22-year-olds who issue 55 free passes in 131 Double-A innings usually don't find themselves within shouting distance of September games that matter. He's just up to get a taste of the spotlight, right? To see how big-leaguers carry themselves and pay others to carry their bags? Because that's no problem at all.
09/13/2011	7	7
They're the most zen contender in years, despite Kirk Gibson's entreaties to give 110 percent, run the bases as if fleeing a crime scene and sidewalk-slam any catcher who impedes home-plate access. They just win and go home, with a minimum of fuss and drama along the way. ... Outside of the Phillies, they've got the easiest path to the crown, without a single series against an able team along the way. Well, unless you still count the Giants as able, which only their moms and therapists do nowadays. ... The D-backs are even enjoying a little cheap nostalgia, what with the ceremony over the weekend to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the 2001 title. Gotta admire how Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling managed to stifle giggles when asked to compare their dynamic-dyad act to the Ian Kennedy/Daniel Hudson tandem. They're as classy as they are quiet and humble, those two. Totally.
09/06/2011	7	10
Not to engage in premature anointment, but the D-backs play one more series this season against an above-.500 team, and that team is the Giants. Congrats, Arizona fans. There's nothing more fun than an out-of-nowhere playoff campaign. Start manufacturing the commemorative Big Gulp goblets ... Of course, with this success comes the usual bleats about lower-than-expected attendance, about how it is morally incumbent upon D-backers (get it?) to head out to the ball yard and "support the team." Let's see. Retractable roof or no, it's 194 degrees outside, plus the local economy is in the pooper. My advice? Save your enthusiasm and discretionary income for the playoffs. The team will get by.
08/30/2011	10	10
It's didactic to contrast D-Backs fans to the Tigers fans referenced above, actually. Unlike their Motown peers, Arizona boosters realize they have happened upon the most rewarding of anticompetitive circumstances: a crappy division filled with dummyhead front-office execs. They know they're going to get plastered in the first round against the Phillies; they giggled when they heard that Vegas has set the over/under on runs scored for the entire series at 8. They're just enjoying the ride and letting the doubters doubt ... Of course, at this time last year, Padres fans were similarly basking in winning's warm glow -- and then they blew 10 straight games. So, like, beware the pre-Ides of September, or something.
08/23/2011	10	7
Last Tuesday night: "Oh wow, they're, like, for real. A comeback win -- against Halladay, no less!" Sunday afternoon, after the deluge: "Thank you for your interest in the data-entry position. We'll be in touch." ... Truth is, all the stuff about how they "play hard" and "don't give away at-bats" was starting to grate. That reality check, administered with parental severity by the Phillies and Braves, should mute all the plucky/gritty bleats and intangiblatin'.
08/16/2011	7	9
It's like their playoff-worthiness is being tested by some ubiquitous, hyperjudgmental being, like the Big Fella/Gal upstairs or Donald Trump. First the shortstop goes down, then the rotation plug-in goes down (13 pitches AND an at-bat after breaking his leg, which renders him both really tough and really stupid). Who's next? Heaven forbid Kirk Gibson should lose his voice, which would leave the Diamondbacks kids waiting for enthusiastically conveyed instructions about the virtues of hustle and hard work ... They're even getting screwed on the small stuff (e.g., Sunday's Phillies-Nats rainout that pushed Roy Halladay into their path). How many more mountains must they climb?
08/09/2011	9	8
For those keeping track at home, your official 2011 frisk-tracker first blipped with the Diamondbacks in early May, then with the Indians a few weeks later, then with the Pirates in early July. Now we're back to the D-backs. They may or may not rank all that high in most statistical categories, but their proving-the-doubters-wrong-iness is off the charts ... I'd like them even more if they'd stop wasting outs on the basepaths. We talked about how badly the D-backs needed to deal for pitching help (which they got), but they probably could've used a crossing guard as well ... My three-word scouting report on Paul Goldschmidt: "Not an oaf." Do with it what you will.