Location: Chicago, Ill. | Ballpark: Wrigley Field (41,160) | Spring Training: Mesa, Ariz.
Owner: Joe Ricketts | GM: Jim Hendry | Manager: Lou Piniella | World Championships: 2
Season in seven words: "Why? Because they're the Cubs, that's why." ... Hero: Hey, I thought Derrek Lee was cooked, too. That's why they play the games! Or something! ... Loserhead: Now Alfonso Soriano is no longer useful for Fantasy purposes, either. Enjoy the next five years of his career, Cubs fans ... Key need: For all the teeth-gnashing over Carlos "the fat one" Zambrano and Rich "the frail one" Harden, the pitching wasn't all that terrible. It was on the bases and in the field that this team looked slow and old. Also, they should probably get rid of Milton Bradley before he firebombs Lou Piniella's Camaro ... Prognosis: On hold until the ownership situation gets sorted.
09/29/2009
12
12
They played great ball last week. Why? Because they didn't have Milton Bradley weighing down team morale with his hurtful comments about vegetarians and Derrek Lee's postgame attire, that's why. Bradley's toxic personality -- the word "toxic" must be used by every writer who attempts to psychoanalyze Bradley without having met him -- has toppled small buildings and totalitarian regimes. What made the Cubbies think that their clubhouse would endure where those other institutions and entities perished? The naivete is laughable. Ha, ha, ha.
09/22/2009
12
13
Clearly Milton Bradley should never have been granted the security of a three-year contract, and clearly he does more to pollute a clubhouse than a double-pronged assault of Axe Body Spray and Eminem's Relapse ever could. But his two-week suspension for saying some dumb crap feels like a smokescreen, as if the Cubs are trying to divert attention away from their myriad other issues ($18 million per year to Carlos Zambrano through 2012, anyone?). Don't be fooled.
09/15/2009
13
14
This ranking feels way high for a team that has been issuing injury mea culpas since June, but I can't justify elevating anybody else. ... The Cubs made a wonderful call in announcing that Carlos Marmol will be its closer in 2010. Because really, nothing that affects the closer choice could possibly happen between now and April. ... The Cubs and White Sox have been taken off life support, Brian Urlacher is down for the year and MJ came across as petty and vindictive in his Hall of Fame speech. Chicago sports fans are already pretending that 2009 never happened.
09/08/2009
14
15
If I were a Cubs fan, I'd be taking the anger my Wrigley cronies are focusing on Milton Bradley and redirecting it toward Alfonso Soriano, who's only slightly less of a malcontent and much more of a financial albatross. ... Those who are jaded about baseball highlights should do themselves a favor and track down the much-Twitter'd clip of Andres Blanco's stab-and-chuck of a Jeff Francoeur grounder (oh, wait –- it's here... Jake Fox at the plate: asset. Jake Fox anywhere else on a baseball diamond and possibly in the stands: liability. He'll make a fine DH someday soon.
09/01/2009
15
14
Carlos Zambrano took umbrage at being called "lazy" this week. How about we compromise on "fat" or "a chore?" ... Now Milton Bradley is alleging that he was singled out for racial abuse at Wrigley. It's at the point where the Cubs might pay the rest of his remaining salary ($20 million or so) along with prospects and fabulous prizes (a ... brand ... new ... car!!!!) to any team that will take him off their hands. ... To get rid of Alfonso Soriano, on the other hand, the Cubs might have to resort to blackmail and/or sleight of hand. His deal has lapped Barry Zito's as the game's second-worst, and now ranks behind only Vernon Wells' epic failure of a contract.
08/25/2009
14
12
I'm not ready to give them a full mulligan for 2009, as some others might. Yes, the season eulogy will read "injuries injuries injuries injuries," but many of the wounds were self-inflicted, notably the signing of the kind, retiring Milton Bradley and the exiling of better-than-the-sum-of-his-stats Mark DeRosa. ... Congrats to the franchise on identifying its best closer candidate a mere 120 games into the season. I don't subscribe to the theory that every team must anoint a closer and use him only in ninth-inning save situations –- there are important outs to be secured in the seventh and eighth innings, too, and oftentimes the closer is the best guy to get them -– but placing Carlos Marmol in the glory role was a no-brainer way back in March. Non-moves like this make me think that Lou Piniella really isn't invested anymore.
08/18/2009
12
12
It's too early for the "open back, insert fork" eulogy, or whatever nonsensical catchphrase we're using nowadays to dismiss cooked teams, but the Cubs sure seem to be snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory with startling regularity for a playoff contender. ... Kevin Gregg isn't a "closer" so much as a "re-opener." ... Let's not damn the Wrigley bleacher denizens for the Shane Victorino beer-shower fiasco. They've acquired a rep as a bunch of bloated slackers –- like Bill Murray, but with 942 percent less net worth -– but really: As a whole, they're no dumber or drunker or more or less informed than fans at every other venue in professional sports. A great majority of us are courteous toward and respectful of our fellow game-goers; let's not let a few idiots who lack impulse control drag us down with them.
08/11/2009
12
9
Who'd you have in the Cubbie injury lottery last week? Me, I hit a Ramirez/Zambrano perfecta ... They do fine against the Nationals and Astros of the world, but haven't won a series against a legit playoff contender schedule since early May -- and that's if you count the Marlins as legit. Up next: what's sure to be a pissed-off Phillies squad ... Six runs in a little over an inning, then a quick injury retreat to the clubhouse? Now that's the Tom Gorzelanny I know.
08/04/2009
9
10
After all this -- after all the injuries and the Piniella harumphs and the ownership follies and the Lohan moments courtesy of Milton Bradley -- the Cubs find themselves tied for first place in early August. The rest of the NL Central oughta be ashamed for having failed to pull way the hell ahead while the Cubs idled on the side of the road ... I don't know if Carlos Marmol has walked the first batter he faced in every game he's pitched this season, but it sure seems that way ... Yeah, the bullpen is a mess, with Kevin Gregg finally embracing his meltdown destiny. Given its righty/lefty balance, the team might as well go with the throw-lots-of-relievers-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks approach of last year's Rays, rather than anointing a closer-with-a-capital-C and presenting him with a tiara during a pregame ceremony.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
5
-
Put down the goat poison and repeat after me: Last season was not a failure. One very bad week does not negate six very good months. ... Nobody in their division is close; they'll clinch by Sept. 15. ... Derrek Lee and Alfonso Soriano have been tagged as two of baseball's primo age-related-regression candidates, but each should have one more fine season left in him. ... I'm out of the prediction business when it comes to the flighty, intense Milton Bradley. He could replicate his 2008 run at the MVP. He could commit felonious assault on a peanut vendor. He could disappear into the Wrigley ivy and never be heard from again. Your guess is as good as mine.
