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POWER RANKINGS
Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
10/06/2009
26
26
Season in seven words: "Dumb decisions executed dumbly by dumb people." ... Hero: Lance Berkman slugged .509 in what was perceived to be a down season for him. He has set the bar way high ... Loserhead: According to one rumor making the rounds, players were so baffled by Cecil Cooper's every move that they took to wearing "Really?" T-shirts under their uniforms ... Key need: An organizational purge. At least the franchises ranked below them here have a player or three to build around; the Astros have exactly zero elite prospects on the way up and are committed to paying $50 million in 2010 to the troika of Berkman, Roy Oswalt and Carlos Lee. Good luck ... Prognosis: Negative.
09/29/2009
26
23
I couldn't help but notice that they're giving J.R. Towles a 17th chance to stick behind the plate. The Houston organization simply refuses to accept that hoping and praying Towles is more than a backup won't make him so. They can wish upon as many stars as they'd like, or they can make him wear amulets filled with goat blood. He can't play. It's that simple. Move on already.
09/22/2009
23
19
After all the clubhouse-deflating gruffness, after the senseless strategic ruses and grunted responses to media inquiries, the following sentence (poached from one of the moments-after news reports on his ouster) defines Cecil Cooper's mercifully brief managerial tenure for me: "Cooper did not answer calls to his cell phone and his voicemail was full." The guy couldn't think more than two batters ahead (by comparison, Jim Leyland makes moves today with an eye on how they'll impact next week), so it's no surprise that he can't empty his voice mailbox without plunging the western seaboard into darkness. Hiring him was a dumb decision at the time and it sure doesn't look much better now.
09/15/2009
19
18
It isn't outside the realm of possibility that the Astros will finish with a winning record. For this, we have the delicate fawns of the National League to thank. ... Roy Oswalt is one of my favorite guys to watch, especially when he doesn't have his best stuff and resorts to multiple arm angles and funky rhythms to get batters out. But you have to wonder how much a 32-year-old starter with disk degeneration in his back has left. ... I have no idea how old he is, and it's troubling how often his name pops up in stories about sign-stealing and other baseball misdemeanors. I still think Miguel Tejada can be a useful player in 2010 and beyond, though he'll have to move across the diamond to compensate for his diminished ability to, like, bend.
09/08/2009
18
21
The minus-81 run differential looks bone-ugly, but they still swept one of the league's better teams this weekend and continue to flutter around .500. That merits some minimum level of respect, I guess. ... You're surprised that Miguel Tejada has fallen off in the second half? His fate, and the fate of other mid-30s players, was written when the clubhouse bowls of greenies were replaced with raisins. I'm not accusing nobody of nuthin', but look at the second-half implosion of guys like Raul Ibanez. Finally, the natural aging process has triumphed over its evil chemical overlords.
09/01/2009
21
20
It looks like Mike Hampton will have three surgeries after all –- amazingly, none on his dark, mercenary heart. ... I don't see how Roy Oswalt's "this team has no fire" comments can be taken as anything other than a flank attack on oft-comatose manager Cecil Cooper. ... I used to get on Power Rankings hero Peter Gammons for writing maudlin stuff about Aaron Boone ("Thanks to Aaron Boone, just for being Aaron Boone"). But heck to Betsy, I'll be wiping a tear out of my gracious-for-2003 eye when Boone returns to active duty Tuesday night following open-heart surgery. Best wishes, guy.
08/25/2009
20
24
Well, they ripped off four straight wins last week. I suppose that counts for something. ... How about that Mike Hampton, attempting to pitch through an arm injury? I haven't been this inspired by a ballplayer's selflessness since Hampton abandoned a winning Mets team to ensure that his children could attend the best Colorado schools. ... So help me Lord, Armando Benitez has been inked to a minor league deal in advance of a potential September call-up. The schedule calls for a series against the Phillies starting on the 4th; is there anybody on the planet, including Armando himself, who doesn't believe with great certainty that he'll surrender a three-run homer to Ryan Howard at some point during the weekend? Get the office pool up and running now, Chloe.
08/18/2009
24
22
Two starts after his DL sojourn, Roy Oswalt still looks like he needs a nap, a heated compress and a nice bowl of soup. ... By notching his 2,000th hit between the majors and Japan, Kaz Matsui joined something called "the Golden Players Club." Is there a secret handshake? Clubs without secret handshakes are like bikes without a banana seat, or NL Central pitching staffs without more than four functional arms.
08/11/2009
22
21
Even with Wandy Rodriguez back and Roy Oswalt on his way, the third starter is still Brian Moehler and the defense is a yawning chasm of despair. Hunter Pence hasn't hit a ball out of the infield since mid-June and Lance Berkman hasn't run without pain since mid-July. Why would anybody think for a millisecond that they're even a longshot bet for another wild-card surge? I don't ask that rhetorically; I'd really like to know the answer to the question.
08/04/2009
21
17
Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines "reality check" as "something that clarifies or serves as a reminder of reality often by correcting a misconception." Those two frustrating series against the Cubs and Cardinals certainly fit the bill. You can forgive Astros fans if they've come to regard Matt Holliday as their own personal angel of destruction ... Now Lance Berkman, Roy Oswalt and Wandy Rodriguez are dealing with small injuries and the bullpen is fried. Somebody better staunch the bleeding, and fast.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
29
-
Cecil Cooper will be the first manager to bite the dust, a casualty of the high-salary, low-functioning roster handed to him. ... In case you haven't noticed, the Astros plan on giving significant time to bench effluvia like Geoff Blum, J.R. Towles and Michael Bourn. Their rotation lacks legit third, fourth and fifth starters; the bullpen features a scattershot closer and a bunch of middle-relief retreads. ... There's front-line talent here -- Berkman, Oswalt, Pence, Lee -- but not enough to compensate for the dreck occupying roster spots 9 through 25.
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