Season in seven words: "Dayton Moore was rewarded for creating this?" ... Hero: I checked out 25 of their games this season strictly to see Zack Greinke. It was worth it ... Loserhead: Mike Jacobs started more than 100 games at designated hitter, despite a .228/.297/.401 line. Jaywalking is a crime, but apparently this is legal ... Key need: To rid themselves of Jacobs, Kyle Farnsworth, Jose Guillen, Willie Bloomquist, Brian Bannister (sorry) and especially Yuniesky Betancourt. Hire assassins if you have to. Also, the team might as well start laying the groundwork for the inevitable Greinke trade ... Prognosis: I am very, very relieved that I root for an organization other than the Royals.
09/29/2009
25
27
They've owned the last few weeks, exposing Detroit and making the Red Sox sweat ... Oh no! Greinke got ejected last week for arguing balls and strikes from the dugout. This inexcusable unsportsmanlike gesture could cost him Cy votes from that part of the voting populace that prizes gentility over measurable results. He better get out his best engraved stationery and hand-write explanatory notes ASAP.
09/22/2009
27
28
With all due respect to King Felix and his glorious curls, Zack Greinke has been the best pitcher in the American League this year by a Sabathia-wide margin. As such, he should be acknowledged with the Cy Young award. That said, what's the benefit in further running up his innings total in pursuit of a few extra voter-impressing wins? If the electorate is so dense that they can't figure this out on their own, they'll be disenfranchised soon enough.
09/15/2009
28
30
They swept a first-place team last week, which says more about the first-place team than it does about the Royals. ... Luke Hochevar wasn't "tipping his pitches" so much as "throwing them exceedingly straight down the middle of the plate." ... Billy Butler has lots of doubles and stuff. ... OK, next.
09/08/2009
30
30
Non-air-conditioned gulag.
09/01/2009
30
30
Dayton Moore has presided over the Royals since June of 2006. Since the start of the 2007 season, the team has won 194 games and lost 261. The organization boasts an unimpressive farm system and maybe -– maybe -– five players who'd make a contender's playoff roster (Zach Greinke, Joakim Soria, Billy Butler, David DeJesus, Alberto Callaspo). The four-year contract extension Moore received on Monday is thus the equivalent of dumping a bucket of fish entrails on fans' heads. If I were a Royals booster, it'd drive me to drink –- or, worse, to soccer.
08/25/2009
30
29
Can you imagine being the Royals beat man/woman who has to report dutifully on trivialities like Jose Guillen's injury rehab and Kyle Farnsworth's mood swings? It's enough to make an existentialist out of a guy.
08/18/2009
29
30
In recent weeks, they've made Francisco Liriano look like his 2006 self and Brett Anderson look like the second coming of Mike Cuellar. They're like a hacking, bunting, signal-missing self-image-restoration clinic for downtrodden pitchers.
08/11/2009
30
30
They're about two weeks away from qualifying for humanitarian aid.
08/04/2009
30
28
By way of commentary, I present the starting lineup they employed on Monday afternoon: DeJesus LF/Bloomquist CF/Butler 1B/Teahen 3B/Callaspo 2B/Buck DH/Olivo C/Freel RF/Betancourt SS. That is all.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
25
-
Only the long-term signing of Zach Greinke saves them from claiming yet another "dumbest offseason dummyhead" certificate for the wall of Dayton Moore's home office. ... Last year it was Jose Guillen, this year it was Mike Jacobs and Kyle Farnsworth. If you're going to lose, why not lose with players who might actually have a future with your franchise, or at least ones who could have some trade value if everything breaks just right?
