Location: Minneapolis, Minn. | Ballpark: Metrodome (56,144) (Target Field opens 2010) | Spring Training: Ft. Myers, Fla.
Owner: Jim Pohlad / Twin Sports, Inc. | GM: Bill Smith | Manager: Ron Gardenhire | World Championships: 2
Season in seven words: "In another division, a sub-.500 team." ... Hero: Joe Mauer, a most deserving MVP no matter how many Kardashians he impregnates and autographs he refuses to sign for lupus-stricken orphans ... Loserhead: By the end of the day, it is entirely possible that a team which bestowed 435 plate appearances on the talent-free Nick Punto will be in the playoffs. Let's just get it over with and legally change his surname to "Bunt-o" ... Key need: Some production from the infield positions not manned by Justin Morneau, and the stealth implantation into Carlos Gomez's neck of a device that administers a painful jolt of electricity whenever he swings at a pitch 18 inches outside the strike zone ... Prognosis: More warm decency and happy OK-ness, but this time in a facility designed for baseball rather than trade shows and monster-truck rallies.
09/29/2009
11
15
If they pass the Tigers -- realistically, they have to win three of four in Detroit, and they just sealed the deal in Game 1 -- they'll have done it the hard way. They face a weekend series in Kansas City that projects as something less than a cakewalk, given that they'll face Zack Greinke for the second time in a week, plus the offense-gutting injury to Justin Morneau still resounds. I'm impressed, but also not: They've fought off several challenges that would've sunk lesser squads, but they bunt way too often.
09/22/2009
15
14
We addressed them in the intro, but one last thing: Brian Duensing would be a household name in Minnesota if people in Minnesota had households. Turns out they all reside in snowball huts. Who knew?
09/15/2009
14
13
They won't have another chance to gain ground on the Tigers like they had last week, unless a game of Wii Foxy Boxing between Justin Verlander and Edwin Jackson goes tragically awry, and now Justin Morneau is gone for the season with a stress fracture in his back. That's a wrap, everybody. ... The Twins are almost good and will remain so until the day ownership spends more money. I'd invest heavily this offseason, because the Yankees and Red Sox have likely already planned their post-2010 contractual blitzkriegs on Joe Mauer. Next year might be the last chance the Twins have to get it right.
09/08/2009
13
13
Of course Joe Mauer is the MVP. You're an idiot for suggesting otherwise. ... He's the only interesting thing about this organization right now, though, as they've once again settled into an almost-good groove. I understand that they can only spend so much -– because the Minny/St. Paul region is as sparsely populated as the Gobi Desert and because the Pohlad family has been using food stamps as currency for the last half-decade. But it'd sure be nice if the franchise scrounged around for the extra millions to push this team into legit contention.
09/01/2009
13
15
Say what you want about the players they picked up (Carl Pavano, Orlando Cabrera, Ron Mahay, Jon Rauch): The Twins have rightly identified the AL Central as winnable and those incremental upgrades could well make a difference. It sure beats going to battle with an army of Puntos. ... The Twins have one of the AL's easiest schedules the rest of the way and they "know how to win" -– which, as I understand it, means they realize that they must outscore their opponents. ... I called a medic when 38-year-old backstop Mike Redmond was rounding second on his way to his first triple since 2003. Hey, better safe than sorry.
08/25/2009
15
17
They're starting to play half-OK again, even if the pitching hasn't yet stabilized to a point where they can make a legit run. But they've got Justin Morneau back in the lineup and play at home, where they're superheroic, through next Wednesday. ... Speaking of the pitching, Anthony Swarzak doesn't just pitch scared, he pitches as if being chased by a zombified debt collector cranking Sheryl Crow records. Minnesota has limited resources, I know, but the team does irreparable harm to its bullpen every time it trots a not-ready-for-primetime starter out to the mound.
08/18/2009
17
18
I'm trying to think of a reason why I bumped them up a spot from last week, even as their pitching continued to collapse. Pity, maybe? It boils down to this: Somebody's gotta be ranked 17th and no other team is worthy of that exalted honor. ... I'm not the kind of guy who says I told you so, but to anyone who didn't agree with me back in July that Nick Blackburn's abhorrent strikeout rate portended bad things down the road: NYAH NYAH NYAH YOU'E WRONG I'M RIGHT NYAH NYAH YOU SMELL.
08/11/2009
18
16
At this point, removing Francisco Liriano from the rotation would be an act of mercy. The question is no longer whether they have somebody better to fill his spot, but rather whether even Triple-A piffle could possibly do any worse ... The horrendous starting pitching has had quite the cascade effect, with the bullpen now fried from having been called upon to clean up so many fourth-inning puddles ... But gosh, now that they've got the consistent-as-a-metronome Carl Pavano on their side, that'll all change in a jiffy.
08/04/2009
16
15
Yes, I'm aware I have ranked them two slots below a team they own. So here's why I believe the White Sox are a better team right now -- today, Tuesday August 4, 2009, at 7:41 a.m. ET. The top three in the Twins' starting rotation are Blackburn, Liriano and Baker, while the ChiSox trot out Buehrle, Danks and Floyd. Mauer, Morneau and Nathan aren't good enough by and of themselves to make up the difference ... I'm big on gestures of warmth and respect by opposing fans when the occasion merits, so I totally dug the standing ovation bestowed upon Mark Buehrle when his perfect streak o' perfection ended after 45 batters. Classy stuff, St. Paul.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
15
-
I don't like the look of their offense. Then again, I never like the look of their offense, owing to my frustration with the team's stubborn refusal to hire an actual third baseman. ... Last year, their hitters put up a .305/.380/.446 line with runners in scoring position, as opposed to a .279/.340/.408 line overall. Good luck replicating that. ... Carl Pohlad's three kids, who have taken the helm following their father's death, promise to be as hands-off as dad was. That should thrill Twins fans sick of rooting for a cheapwad team, even though ownership can afford more turtlenecks than George Steinbrenner ever could.
