Location: Bronx, N.Y. | Ballpark: The New Yankee Stadium (52,325) (inaugural season) | Spring Training: Tampa, Fla. Owner: George M. Steinbrenner | GM: Brian Cashman | Manager: Joe Girardi | World Championships: 26
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POWER RANKINGS
Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
07/07/2009
3
6
Here's why the Yankees are pretty darn okay about now, beyond the fact that they pay their organist more than the Padres do their starting infield: The guys who matter in the bullpen (Alfredo Alceves, Phil Coke and Phil Hughes) have been unconscious for about a month now. As we well know, bullpen performance defies prediction, but the Yankees will be very difficult to take down if any of those guys can continue to staunch the middle-inning bleeding ... My impression of Andy Pettitte discussing the new Yankee Stadium: Wah! Wah! It's small! Wah! Suck it up, guy ... Derek Jeter's sculpted-from-beautiful-beautiful-stone face actually registered human emotion on Monday afternoon, when he implied in a totally non-menacing and still-marketable manner that the umps blew a series of calls. I didn't think he had it in him.
06/30/2009
6
9
The bats finally roused, apparently awakened by Joe Girardi's polite "do me a favor and eject me from the game, as I believe it will spur my players to new heights of competitive vigor, even though they think I'm a tight-ass for disallowing candy in the locker room" conversation with the umps last Wednesday. Me, I tend to think the Mets' candy-cane starters might've had more to do with it than the pep-ejection ... We're hearing lotsa "someday you'll tell your grandkids that you saw Mariano Rivera pitch" platitudes in the wake of the robo-closer's 500th career save. Me, I'll probably be more keen to relate tales from my youth ("did I tell you the one about the walrus, the kiddie pool and the colorblind Theta girl?"), but I feel privileged to have basked in the glory that is Mariano's cutter. Thanks for your service, sir.
06/23/2009
9
4
They receive an automatic five-spot demotion for having lost a series to the Nationals. They may apply for take-us-seriously reinstatement in 15 days or after they compile a five-game winning streak against above-.500 opponents, whichever comes first ... Alex Rodriguez was spotted nightclubbing up a storm on the same day he begged out of the lineup with "fatigue." Being this guy's PR counselor must be the most frustrating gig in sports. You've got a good-looking, articulate, hard-working client who is great at what he does (sometimes even in October), and yet he has a knack for saying and doing the dumbest possible thing at the dumbest possible moment. It's uncanny, really.
06/16/2009
4
3
Not that we needed another sign George Steinbrenner has long since checked out, but his silence last week as the Yankees dipped to 0-8 against the Red Sox saddened me. In the old days, he'd have summoned the team's higher-ups to Tampa for a "pep talk" and castigated Chien-Ming Wang as "a slow, soft wimpy giraffe." This would've led to a tabloid flurry when Wang's translator softened the verbal assault to "he is concerned about your arm angle" for the benefit of his client's psyche ... I'm starting to understand why two teams have already soured on Nick Swisher. He's like an eager young puppy: lovable and enthusiastic, but resistant to housetraining (read: last week's doubled-off extravaganza) and prone to gnawing on the couch (the wrong-way routes to fly balls).
06/09/2009
3
3
This stat isn't entirely didactic, as most of the games took place before Alex Rodriguez returned from injury and Mark Teixeira woke up. But heading into Boston tonight, the Yankees are 4-9 against the Red Sox and Rays in 2009. They've scored 64 runs and allowed 85. ... Speaking of Tex, watching him blow a gasket after being thrown at by Vicente Padilla was like watching Charlie Rose or some other mild-mannered celebrity lose his crap after an assistant brought him an insufficiently chilled bottle of water. I didn't know he had it in him.
06/02/2009
3
5
This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball ... and the Yankees happen to be doing all three things quite ably about now, especially the middle one. The players stationed left of second base may not be able to throw or bend without incident, but they've held it together well enough to sustain an 18-game error-free streak. ... Congrats to Joba Chamberlain on surviving a visit to Cleveland without having been feasted upon by fist-sized midges or strafed by low-flying seagulls.
05/26/2009
5
11
They haven't made an error in 12 straight games. That's not a typo ... They've pushed their run differential into the black, a nice achievement given the number of 22-4 pastings they absorbed earlier in the season ... The nice man on the television was saying the other day that "Melky Cabrera is the guy you want at the plate when the game's on the line." Me, I'll stick with Mark Teixeira or Alex Rodriguez, thanks ... Per the great LoHud Yankees blog, they're scoring as many runs per game with A-Rod as they did without him. The difference, as it usually is, has been the pitching.
05/19/2009
11
17
Alex Rodriguez can no longer bend for ground balls or move laterally, but Mark Teixeira (.342/.409/.816 in 44 plate appearances since the return of The Chosen One) sure doesn't seem to mind having some protection in the lineup. ... They're getting way lucky in coming out ahead in so many one-run games. That'll even out before too long. ... Did you hear? Roger Clemens said Roger Clemens didn't use performance-enhancing substances, because Roger Clemens' stepfather had a heart condition, so why would Roger Clemens do that to Roger Clemens and the family of Roger Clemens? ... There's an interesting comparison waiting to be made between the meticulously reported Clemens tome and the anonymously sourced Selena Roberts book on A-Rod.
05/12/2009
17
9
Teams without a functional catcher or bullpen have historically performed less well than those armed with such personnel ... The line put up by Yankee third basemen during A-Rod's absence: .202/.248/.283. Basically, they trotted a Brad Ausmus clone out there every day ... Every time Joba Chamberlain offends the Gods by enthusiastically pumping his fist after a strikeout, an orphan is stricken with anemia ... On the other hand, he seems personally bent on injecting some menace into the curds-and-whey rivalry between the Yankees and Red Sox, as witnessed by his target practice on Kevin Youkilis and Jason Bay.
05/05/2009
9
11
But bump them down four or five slots if Jorge Posada's hamstring injury proves serious. Four-year deals for 30-something catchers rank right up there with Judge Judy's private-label perfume ("smell like justice!") in the annals of bad ideas ... In advance of A-Rod's return later this week, here's my 16-word summary of the new Selena Roberts tome on everybody's favorite whipping boy: "A-Rod is a preening ass mocked by his teammates and he eats steroid soup for breakfast." There, I just saved you $26.99.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
2
-
Say what you will about the game's economic inequities and how the Yankees practically spit in the face of socialism by exploiting them. They got a lot better this offseason in the rotation and on defense. For the first time in years, the Yankees might actually be able to retrieve balls put into play. ... Jorge Posada's health is the key to the season. If he's right, they'll be a machine. ... Some friends and I were speculating what the Yankees could do to make spring training more of a zoo than it already projects to be. Our best answer: sign Barry Bonds; "accidentally" publish A-Rod's cell phone number; let fans roam on the playing field before and after games; announce a plan to have Joba Chamberlain start on odd-numbered days and relieve on even-numbered ones; and hustle Jennifer Aniston into camp to watch her "good friend" Derek Jeter take batting practice. If they did all this, the New York Post might relocate to Tampa.
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