Location: Philadelphia, Pa. | Ballpark: Citizens Bank Park (43,500) | Spring Training: Clearwater, Fla.
Owner: Bill Giles, David Montgomery | GM: Ruben Amaro Jr. | Manager: Charlie Manuel | World Championships: 2
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POWER RANKINGS
Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
07/07/2009
13
10
Even if you factor in this weekend's sweep of the decaying Metsies and Monday's annihilation of the Reds, they're 8-14 in their last 22 games. They may drip with championship baubles and have WE ARE AWESOME 2008 NO. 1 YEAH banners waving high atop their ballpark, but right now they're a team that doesn't much resemble a contender. The calendar says 2009, kids, or at least it would if I could bring myself to turn past the December 2007 spread of Eliza Dushku dressed as Sexy Mrs. Claus.
06/30/2009
10
8
This team may not be very good right now, but they're still good enough to win the game's flimsiest division ... Cole Hamels is screaming at umps and J.C. Romero is putting taunting fans in headlocks. Behavioral expert that I am, I'm going to suggest that maybe, just maybe, they're a little frustrated ... Now that the magnificent Antonio Bastardo has been shut down with arm issues, we'll get to see the touted prospect behind door number two, Carlos Carrasco, on Thursday. Exciting! ... Like everybody else, I was appalled that Davey Johnson chose to start Derek Jeter ahead of Jimmy Rollins during the World Baseball Classic. I assumed Davey had been blinded, like many a starlet before him, by Cap'n Intangible's well-maintained sideburns, but maybe he saw something the rest of us missed. Rollins looks clueless and uninspired out there nowadays.
06/23/2009
8
3
Note to the armchair physicians: Ryan Howard's "acute sinusitis" is more than a stuffy-wuffy nose ... Supposedly they've got the mystic, intangible qualities that define a winning ballclub -- grit, hustle, gumption, etc. -- in abundance, which is why the team's performance over the last fortnight has been so troubling. The incident that got all the press, and prompted Philly sports-radio wags to abandon their usual reasoned discourse and call for revolution in the streets, was Marco Scutaro's theft of second base as Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley engaged in pleasant conversation about house pets. Me, I'd worry less about the lollygagging than about the pitching, but I'm a pragmatist that way.
06/16/2009
3
2
You've got it all wrong, Raul Ibaņez. The way you respond to wonky blogger deconstructions that your offensive surge may be chemically powered isn't by launching a sane, articulate self-defense and volunteering to have your every bodily substance tested. It's by beating the crap out of the guy, to the extent that he eats through a straw for the next eight months. That's right out of the Clemens textbook, fella.
06/09/2009
2
4
But for Brad Lidge struggling with yet another recurrence of the can't-get-anyone-out-ies, they'd have swept the Dodgers. He looks pooped and the calendar reads June 9 ... There was a wealth of encouraging signs during the road trip, most notably Cole Hamels' return to greatness and the team's recent ability to slap around better-than-OK lefties like Randy Wolf. ... The weird thing about the magnificent Antonio Bastardo? Most scouting reports pegged him as a finesse guy, but so far he's thrown everything hard and low.
06/02/2009
4
4
Brad Lidge looked like Brad Lidge in securing four straight saves, but it still doesn't make sense trotting him out there four games in a row, three against the nonfunctioning Nationals no less. Why use an Uzi when a slingshot will suffice? ... Gotta love Brett Myers' terse parsing of his official diagnosis for the benefit of physiology-challenged reporters: "They told me that my hip is f---ed up." ... The magnificent Antonio Bastardo makes his MLB debut Tuesday night against the Padres. It's safe to assume that, short of Bastardo and his family, nobody is looking forward to this more than Philly's beleaguered headline writers. Is there any player in the majors whose surname gives them more to work with?
05/26/2009
4
8
I was very, very wrong about Raul Ibaņez and his excessive left-handed-hitting-ness and plan to send him a fruit basket by way of apology ... Allowing John Mayberry Jr. to bat against a right-handed pitcher is like making the dog subsist on fish food. That is to say: an act of willful neglect ... The current list of things that closer/reopener Brad Lidge does better than set-up man Ryan Madson is limited to off-the-field pursuits like pinochle and skeet shooting. Charlie Manuel's not a dummy, no matter how many times he uses the word "dadgum" in speeches before civic groups. You watch: Madson will be facing opponents' big guns for the immediate future.
05/19/2009
8
12
It only felt like Raul Ibanez socked nine homers and plated 34 runs during the four-game annihilation of the Nats. In reality, he merely went 9 for 18, with three homers, seven runs scored and nine runs driven in. ... Miguel Cairo, we hardly knew ye. ... Want to have some fun with your friendly neighborhood Phillies fans? Ask them, "What's Jayson Werth?" They like winning, but they love clever wordplay.
05/12/2009
12
7
Yes, they miss the lefty moxietudinousness of steroid-suspensionee J.C. Romero, but the real reason for the struggles of the Philly 'pen is this: bullpen performances vary wildly from year to year. What we have here is a simple regression to the mean ... Optimism is a wonderful thing, but I don't see how you can continue to explain away Brett Myers' struggles by merely attributing them to "location" ... Chase Utley doesn't believe in injuries. He'd sooner perjure himself than admit under oath that his bruised right foot is, indeed, bruised.
05/05/2009
7
6
The drop-off from Brad Lidge to Ryan Madson is nowhere near as severe as most people think ... My best guesses as to the next fluke injury that will befall Cole Hamels: He'll either slip on a fungo bat on his way back to the mound or ingest a handful of suppositories when a prankish teammate tampers with the clubhouse bowl of M&Ms ... Where does Shane Victorino rank among NL centerfielders now that he's evolved into a bopper of mild offensive repute? Probably below Carlos Beltran and Matt Kemp but above everybody else ... At some point they probably oughta find a fifth starter who can reliably get them somewhere near the sixth inning.
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
1
-
They get the top slot in the initial rankings because they're the defending champs. But honestly: Does anybody outside the 215 area code believe they have the rotation or lineup depth to finish higher than fourth in the AL East? Good thing they play in the NL East, where "no, WE'RE the team to beat" pronouncements are accepted competitive currency. ... This will be the last time I mention that the batting order tilts too far to the left. Phillies fans might not miss Pat Burrell's strikeouts-and-wingman escapades now, but wait until the parade of lefty relievers to face the Utley/Howard/Ibanez trio commences.
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