Location: Pittsburgh, Pa. | Ballpark: PNC Park (38,362) | Spring Training: Bradenton, Fla.
Principal Owner: Bob Nutting | CEO: Frank Coonelly | GM: Neal Huntington | Manager: John Russell | World Championships: 5
Season in seven words: "Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad" ... Hero: Nobody ... Loserhead: Everybody ... Key need: Able players ... Prognosis: Bad.
09/29/2009
29
30
The saddest thing is that you even can't label a season like this disappointing. Forty games under .500 is par for the course for this puddle of a franchise ... Where'd Ronald Belisario, who's pitching so well for the Dodgers despite Torre's ritualistic overuse, come from? The Pittsburgh organization, of course: They released him in the offseason. Typical.
09/22/2009
30
30
I watched precisely 13 innings of Padres/Pirates over the weekend. That makes me morally superior to you as a baseball fan, not to mention an obvious candidate for an intervention. Please send canned goods and bottled water at your earliest convenience. ... As for actual baseball content, the Pirates have committed the fewest errors in the majors this season. That counts for something, I guess.
09/15/2009
30
28
Imagine being a Pirates beat reporter. By August 3, after you've written your post-trade-deadline recaps, you don't have anything to report on except the progress of young players. At the pace of one story per day, that's about 60 of them before the season is out; your organization doesn't have 30 kids worth devoting 400 words to, much less 60. Then you have to find something else to write about during the offseason, when the rest of the baseball media world is finally getting around to the prospect stories. This is no way to live.
09/08/2009
28
28
It's heartbreaking that I can't rank three teams 30th, but they pay me to make the tough decisions. The Pirates got the nod over the Nationals and Royals because their players rarely look as if they'd rather be learning about medical billing at a vocational college that advertises on the crosstown bus. It's all in the body language.
09/01/2009
28
28
Those two close wins over the Phillies last week had a sandlot feel to them. It was the first palpable joy I've seen from anyone associated with this woeful franchise since 1992. ... For whatever little it's worth, the Pirates are a worthy foe at PNC Park, where they're 35-29. On the road, however, they devolve into a bunch of timid schoolgirls, to the tune of an 18-48 mark. Maybe they're not ready for sleepovers just yet. ... I have never seen a player less able to hit major-league pitching than Brian Bixler, mercifully sent back from whence he came after whiffing 23 times in 33 at-bats. He and Brian Bocock, his no-hit doppelganger buried deep in the San Fran minor-league system, ought to hit the road together for some kind of song-and-dance revue, with all proceeds donated to contact-challenged orphans.
08/25/2009
28
30
I've received lots of warm notes from Pirates fans saying, "I prefer watching this team lose to watching last year's team lose. At least this time around we have some hope for a Jack Wilson-free future." I concur wholeheartedly and wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors.
08/18/2009
30
29
At least the Royals have a legit chance of winning any game started by Zack Greinke. Short of a salmonella epidemic in the opposing clubhouse, is there any set of circumstances under which you'd give the Pirates a better-than-even chance to win? I didn't think so.
08/11/2009
29
24
Delwyn Young can hit more than a little, but he turns the double play in slow-motion. You watch: Before too long he'll be waving and giving a thumbs-up as he's carted off the field, felled by an aggressive baserunner ... A personal note to John Russell: It would make my Fantasy life much easier if you'd refrain from using Matt Capps, ever, under any situation, even if he's the last eligible pitcher left in the 'pen. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
08/04/2009
24
24
Never mind that you can find greater collections of athletic talent at your neighborhood park than on the Pirates' roster. Me, I luv, luv, luv what they did at the trade deadline. Look at the guys they exiled: Adam LaRoche, Jack Wilson, Freddy Sanchez, John Grabow et al. There's not a long-term contributor in the bunch and certainly nobody who will have anything much to contribute by the time the prospects ripen ... I do think they need to figure out a defensive position for just-acquired masher Jeff Clement, though, maybe something like "left line-watcher."
Preseason Power Rankings
Date
Ranking
Previous
02/16/2009
30
-
They went 17-37 down the stretch after dealing Jason Bay and Xavier Nady, then didn't bother to add anything of substance in the offseason. If the franchise so clearly doesn't give a crap, why should we?
