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Baseball Insider

The 9 sure signs Albert Pujols is really running the Angels (if they happen)


The Angels didn't attribute the firing of hitting coach Mickey Hatcher after 12-plus years of service to the wishes of their new well-paid singles hitter Albert Pujols. But if these type of changes keep happening, well, we we all suspect that you know who is the one who's really in charge.

Nine Signs Light-Hitting Infielder Albert Pujols is Running the Angels

1. The traditional long-running team insignia, the halo, is replaced by an arch. Instead of a halo being alighted on days the Angels win, the arch will glow whenever Pujols gets a ball out of the infield.

2. CIA agents are hired to ensure no sensitive information is leaked from team meetings such as precisely which player proclaimed the team would turn it around.

3. Fans entering Angels stadium will be met by a greeter saying "Bienvenido,'' an homage to Pujols' famous softball-playing father Bienvenido Pujols.

4. The spread will now be catered by Pujols 5, the St. Louis restaurant.

5. The bench coach henceforth serves a dual role as caddy for the avid golfer Albert.

6. The new team name is the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Dominican Republic by way of Kansas City.

7. The trade is finally complete: Mike Trout, Peter Bourjos, Erick Aybar, Mark Trumbo, Jered Weaver, Dan
Haren, C.J. Wilson, Jordan Walden, Hank Conger and the entire roster of the Salt Lake Bees for Yadier Molina.

8. Agent Dan Lozano is given his own $10-million personal services contract.

9. Introducing the new manager of the Angels, Jose Oquendo.



 
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