Holiday gifts for NASCAR's fast-living crowd

• Kurt Busch: A Teleprompter. For the new champ to practice those script-like interviews that sound like NASCAR-written speeches.

• Michael Waltrip: For the only driver who gets more TV time than Junior, a copy of the DVD of Michael Waltrip's Greatest Commercials.

• Mark Martin: Sponsorship from Pfizer's newest wonder drug. He has to be getting tired of all those Viagra jokes.

• Ryan Newman: A lifetime invitation to the Chase, the new playoff format he calls "silly" and "ridiculous."

• Kasey Kahne: An appearance on the TV show The Bachelor. After all, People magazine named him one of its 50 hottest men.

• Kevin Harvick: A Matt Kenseth T-shirt and a new front bumper. Harvick showed up in a Kenseth T-shirt the week after the two tangled on the track at Pocono. Why the new front bumper? He wore his out hitting people this year.

• Rusty Wallace: After his feud with Newman, Dr. Phil's new book, How To Get Along With Your Teammate.

• Jeremy Mayfield: Dr. Phil's new book How To Get Along With Rusty. A few years after feuding with Wallace, Mayfield will drive one of Wallace's Busch cars next year.

• Joe Nemechek: A giant G.I. Joe. His first victory in the Army-sponsored car was one of the feel-good stories of the year.

• Greg Biffle: Action figures of The Flash and Wonder Women. The spandex-clad superheroes joined Biffle in victory lane after his win in a DC Comics-sponsored car at Michigan.

• NASCAR chairman Brian France: A big bottle of Crown Royal. It was France who spearheaded NASCAR's new policy to allow hard-liquor sponsors.

• For NASCAR officials: A red flag. For all those occasions when they can't figure out the running order, or when the caution lights are supposed to come on, or when pit road is supposed to be open, or who is on the lead lap or ...

• For NASCAR fans: Foam-covered beer cans for all those races when NASCAR officials make you so mad you just have to litter the track with garbage.

• And for all of NASCAR's Nextel Cup competitors: A little time to relax before one of the most hectic schedules in sports starts all over again.