Dwyane Wade has announced a new nickname, in conjunction with the slogan provided by his new shoe company, Li-Ning. The company has built a brand around the idea of the very martial-artististic "Way of Wade." So what's Wade calling himself? From the Palm Beach Post:
LeBron James was so amused by Dwyane Wade's new self-proclaimed nickname that he dared Wade to reveal it to the media before doing so himself.
“It's ‘WOW,' Way of Wade,” James said, referring to the slogan for Wade's Li-Ning shoes. “I think it's corny.”
Wade, who discarded the “Flash” nickname two years ago, did not concur.
“I'm taking it global!” he shouted.
OK, couple things.
1. That is horrible, Wade. Like, really bad. Like "Kobe ripped off Kill Bill and still managed to outdo you" horrible.
2. I don't know how many times we have to go over this. You cannot give yourself a nickname. It destroys everything cool about having a nickname. The whole idea is that your style or legend builds people up to talk about you in a way that is nonliteral, leading to the creation of a nickname. You don't get to choose one. We're not playing superheroes. You don't get to choose.
3. If you are going to give yourself a nickname? You better not give yourself one based on your shoe company. That's horrible. Wait a minute. DANG IT.
4. Again, that's really horrible, Wade. As in "WOW, that's a horrible nickname."