Quote Translator: Dwight Howard joins the Rockets, leaves Lakers

By Matt Moore | NBA writer

Dwight Howard got chatty after agreeing to join the Rockets     (USATSI)
Dwight Howard got chatty after agreeing to join the Rockets (USATSI)

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Dwight Howard ended the Dwightmare on Friday night, ending a two-year reign of terror on headlines, choosing the Houston Rockets as his next team. Immediately after informing the Lakers and Rockets of his decision, Howard started speaking to various trusted members of the media.

As always, we bring you quote translator, where we tell you what they said ... and what they meant. (Note: What they meant is meant to be humorous. Don't take it seriously.)

What he said:

He actually flew to Los Angeles to see Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak in person -- "I wanted to give him the respect he deserved," Howard said, "and the Lakers the respect they deserved" -- but had to call when news of his choice started to leak, as well as rumblings that his choice might be reversed.

"It didn't come out the way I wanted," Howard admitted. "I didn't want people to think I was flip-flopping: 'Oh, Dwight has decided. Oh, never mind, he's 50-50 with somebody else.' I hated that. It was never the case. I never wanted to put LA fans and fans of basketball through that. I got blamed for all that stuff in Orlando and I didn't want to go through that again. I wanted to come out and do it all the right way."

via Dwight Howard makes his decision - NBA - Lee Jenkins - SI.com.

What he meant: "This was my last chance to screw with the media and remain undecided. Did you really think I was going to miss that opportunity? Also, in case you haven't noticed, my "camp" is so leaky it makes the Titanic after the icberg look like the Titanic before the iceberg."

What he said:

"I wouldn't say it was anything negative [about the Lakers]," Howard said. "It wasn't the proper time. In the NBA, it's all about fits and timing, and the timing was a little bit off for the situation to work. It was perfect timing, and a great fit, for a place like Houston."

via Dwight Howard makes his decision - NBA - Lee Jenkins - SI.com.

What he meant: "I wouldn't say it was anything negative about the Lakers, but basically when Kobe got done with his little speech I started looking at houses in Houston. Also, where the hell was Phil? Bringing Mike D'Antoni to that meeting was like dragging the girlfriend you haven't spoken to in weeks to a family dinner."

What he said:

"... This is an opportunity for me to write my own story," he said. "It's an opportunity for me to move forward, to change the perception of what other people have tried to make of me. It starts on the court with winning and that's what I'm doing. This is a fresh start for me. It's a clean slate. I get the opportunity to start from scratch and I'm going to make the most of it. I've been working all summer already to get my body, to get myself back right and getting ready for the next couple of years. I'm just looking forward to it."

via Dwight Howard says he'll sign with Houston Rockets - ESPN Los Angeles.

What he meant: "I've never had an opportunity like this. A team that's just mine, where I'm the only star. What's that you say? Orlando? What's an Orlando?" (Chews gummy bears.)

What he said:

“I'm sick and tired of all the sources. I'm sick of people coming up with stories. I mean, it's just a blessing for me. I had the opportunity to go through all of this -- go through this process -- but it's been tough. Seeing all of the stuff on the Internet. Seeing stuff that the reporters are saying when it's nowhere near true and not who I am as a person. I was perceived as someone who I'm not. It hurt a lot. It really hurt a lot. But the only thing now is to move forward. I have an opportunity to get past all of that and I'm looking forward to it. This summer has been great. I've gotten away from everything this summer. I didn't pay attention to anything that was being put out there on TV. I had to hear about it, but I didn't focus on any of that stuff. I focused on getting better. I'm just looking forward to the next half of my career.”

via Dwight Howard Discusses Decision in Q&A | HOOPSWORLD | Basketball News & NBA Rumors.

What he meant: "I'm sick and tired of saying things to people I know are going to leak things and never telling them not to leak them and then having them leak things which bring more attention on me. Wait, did I say 'sick and tired of?' I meant 'am going to horribly miss,' since I did more of leaking information than rebounding last year.

"I didn't pay attention to anything that was being put out there on TV, except I can repeat things word for word for you and have HoopsHype.com bookmarked on my iPad."

What he said:

(Kobe Bryant) didn't say anything of that sort. People twisted a lot of stuff that he said. But in my personal opinion, I'm a winner. I'm a winner because I've been playing for nine years when the average career for an NBA player is three years. I'm a winner because I made it to the NBA from a small school in Atlanta, Ga., with 16 people in a class. I'm a winner because I'm succeeding in life. I've had problems and I'm not better than the next man, but I'm going to push myself to be a winner when it comes to winning a championship. But he didn't say anything like that and a lot of people twisted what he did say.”

via Dwight Howard Discusses Decision in Q&A | HOOPSWORLD | Basketball News & NBA Rumors.

What he meant: "Let me set you straight. Kobe did not say the things that were reported he said. Now, let me tell you very firmly why what he didn't say isn't true. Why am I responding to something he didn't say? No reason. By the way, do you know how awesome James Harden is? Because he's awesome. And super-nice."

What he said:

"[A championship is] the priority. That's the priority. [Shoot], I'm betting $30 million on it," [referencing the amount of money he likely will leave on the table by bolting Los Angeles for Houston].

via Dwight Howard says he'll sign with Houston Rockets - ESPN Los Angeles.

What he meant: "I mean, it's not like the Lakers have a championship history, right? By the way, do you know I left $30 million? Because I left $30 million. ... $30 million."

What he said:

“Well, I asked to have [Phil Jackson] as my coach earlier in the year. [pause] The best decision for me was to do what's best for Dwight. I think this is the best thing for me. This wasn't a decision about anybody else. I didn't have anybody pushing me to do anything. This is what Dwight wanted.”

via Dwight Howard Discusses Decision in Q&A | HOOPSWORLD | Basketball News & NBA Rumors.

What he meant: "I hate Mike D'Antoni and if they had hired Phil Jackson after they fired Mike Brown, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

What he said:

What he meant: "No, seriously, I hate Mike D'Antoni."

What he said:

"I think that we had our moments, but I think that his style was a little bit different than what I was accustomed to, but I don't want to blame any of that on the coach as the reason why I'm leaving."

via Dwight Howard says he'll sign with Houston Rockets - ESPN Los Angeles.

What he meant: "HATE."

What he said:

"Nothing is ever promised, but I feel like this is going to be a great opportunity for us to win. Playing with a guy like James and the rest of the team they have, we have a great opportunity. You only have a small window to win in the NBA. I think this gives me a good window, a good opportunity, to win. I'm going to do what I can to help this team win. I think, right now, I'm the oldest guy on the team so I'll be the youngest veteran in the NBA. But it's a great opportunity. Looking at this team and the team we had in Orlando, it's a very similar team, but we're adding a guy like James Harden to that team. It's a great opportunity.”

via Dwight Howard Discusses Decision in Q&A | HOOPSWORLD | Basketball News & NBA Rumors.

What he meant: "Come to think of it, why didn't I just stay in Orlando?" (Laughs too loudly) "Oh, well!" (Does terrible Stan Van Gundy impersonation.)

What he said:

"Happiness, relief, joy," Howard said, his voice hoarse as he summed up his emotions. "I feel really good right now. I'm just happy everything is over with."

via Dwight Howard makes his decision - NBA - Lee Jenkins - SI.com.

What he meant: "See you guys in two years!" (Turns on "Spongebob Squarepants.")

 
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