Someone posted an ad on LA's Craigslist board Wednesday, requesting a new owner. It was pretty funny.
Wanted: Owner for Rising NBA Franchise ((Downtown LA/ Culver City))
Do you love basketball? Do you like taking control and imposing your will? Do you make upwards of $2.5 billion? If yes, then we have the perfect opportunity for you! Recent circumstances have put an up-and-coming NBA franchise in a period of transition. We need a strong, respectful owner who accepts all races, religions, creeds, and sexual orientations.
• Over $1 billion in liquid assets (individual or with partners)
• Discretion in all matters
• Located in Greater Los Angeles/Los Angeles County
• No desire to relocate franchise
• Working relationship with Commissioner Adam Silver and other 29 owners
• If you have a mistress, she must be kept off social media
• Local LA icon preferred (e.g. Billy Crystal, Magic Johnson)
• At least 53% mental acuity
• Minimal desire to meddle in basketball affairs
• Foster synergy
• Calm under intense media scrutiny
• Team player
Only serious applicants need apply. Phone calls will not be monitored or recorded for quality control. Please include a cover letter, résumé, and criminal record (if applicable). 420 friendly (in the offseason).
Well done, anonymous person on Craigslist.