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Fan puts Clippers ownership position on Craigslist

By Matt Moore | NBA writer

Anybody want to buy the Clippers?   (USATSI)
Anybody want to buy the Clippers? (USATSI)

More: Sterling banned for life | Latest updates | NBA news

Someone posted an ad on LA's Craigslist board Wednesday, requesting a new owner. It was pretty funny.

Wanted: Owner for Rising NBA Franchise ((Downtown LA/ Culver City))

Do you love basketball? Do you like taking control and imposing your will? Do you make upwards of $2.5 billion? If yes, then we have the perfect opportunity for you! Recent circumstances have put an up-and-coming NBA franchise in a period of transition. We need a strong, respectful owner who accepts all races, religions, creeds, and sexual orientations.

REQUIREMENTS:

• Over $1 billion in liquid assets (individual or with partners)

• Discretion in all matters

• Located in Greater Los Angeles/Los Angeles County

• No desire to relocate franchise

• Working relationship with Commissioner Adam Silver and other 29 owners

• If you have a mistress, she must be kept off social media

DESIRED TRAITS:

• Honesty

• Discretion

• Local LA icon preferred (e.g. Billy Crystal, Magic Johnson)

• At least 53% mental acuity

• Minimal desire to meddle in basketball affairs

• Foster synergy

• Calm under intense media scrutiny

• Team player

Blake Griffin, Chris Paul, Doc Rivers, LeBron James, and NBAPA must all like you

SALARY:

DOE

Only serious applicants need apply. Phone calls will not be monitored or recorded for quality control. Please include a cover letter, résumé, and criminal record (if applicable). 420 friendly (in the offseason).

via Wanted: Owner for Rising NBA Franchise.

Well done, anonymous person on Craigslist.

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