Brian Scalabrine is returning to the Boston Celtics as a television analyst and decided to announce it in a very familiar way.
Just to make sure nobody misses the point:
Yeah, so, pretty similar.
The accompanying essay was also pretty hilarious. My favorite section from CSN New England:
I'm not promising a championship. I know how hard that is to deliver. We're not ready right now. No way. Of course, I want to win next year, but I'm realistic. I'm only a broadcaster - what could I really do? It will be a long process, much longer than in 2008. My patience will get tested. I know that. I'm going into a situation with a young team and a young coach. I will be the young Comcast SportsNet announcer in the booth next to the legendary Mike Gorman and learn from the greatest color analyst in the game Mr. Tommy Heinsohn. I know that I have a lot to learn but I see myself as a Champion, and I think I can help break down some great Marcus Smart dunks this season. I think I can elevate Kelly Olynyk's game by the amount of research I make my interns do before announcing road games. And I can't wait to reunite with Rajon Rondo, one of my favorite teammates. Paul, KG, and Ray may have all left, but Rondo and the White Mamba remain in Boston, at least for now.
But this is not about the roster or the organization. Thinking twice about it, it really is about the organization. Does it get any better than the Celtics? I feel my calling here goes above basketball – get it...calling... double meaning? They call that a pun. I have a responsibility to lead, in more ways than one, and I take that very seriously. I want kids in Boston, like the hundreds of elementary school kids who have red hair and no chance of making the NBA, to realize that there's no better place to grow up. Maybe some of them will come home after college and work at a bank. That would make me smile. Our community, which has struggled. Well, not really. Winning eight championships since 2000 isn't much of a struggle, and I guess the Sox won last year. I should have known that … where was I? Oh yeah, I want to bring another championship back to Boston. Really, I just want to ride in another championship parade and smoke an overpriced Cuban cigar as a tribute to Red after we hang banner number 18.
Not bad. Not bad at all, White Mamba.