Welcome back to the show that never ends in L.A.
You have to be willing to wear a lot of hats if you're going to take on the task of evaluating the Lakers' bid to repeat as champions. It's an endeavor that crosses over from Money Ball to Dr. Phil, from celebrity hitch-ups to reality TV.
And when I say Dr. Phil, I could be talking about the afternoon TV shrink or the Hall of Fame coach who plays one in Hollywood. Phil Jackson, curator of the triangle offense and tormentor of referees the world over -- including replacements -- has stepped into a complicated world that perhaps he doesn't even fully understand.
Little did Dr. Jerry Buss know that his obligation to Lamar Odom didn't stop with the $33 million over five years he awarded his prized sixth man during a painstakingly long free-agent negotiation. He had to throw in a hastily bought wedding gift, too. But Khloe Kardashian is the least of Jackson's worries. The over-budget, ego-inflated production of the Lakers' 2009-10 season includes, of course, Odom and his distracting nuptials, not to mention the delicate and demanding psyche of Kobe Bryant. But that's not all.
Dr. Phil -- and here, I mean both of you -- meet the collection of role players that have climbed onto the Lakers' repeat bandwagon. Chief among them are a former All-Star and current rapper named Ron Ron, his offseason recording partner, Shin Shin, and the aforementioned former All-Star and current rapper's multiple Twitter personalities.
Hey, Trevor Ariza was a nice player, but he wasn't bringing any of this to the table.
It was a busy summer for Ron Artest, who spurned the Cavaliers, signed with the Lakers, spent a few weeks in China promoting his music, went bowling with Twitter followers, visited the Humane Society and is now seeking 10 models for his new video. "Email shinshinartest@gmail.com if interested!!!!!" he wrote on one of his three Twitter accounts.
(For inquiring minds, you've got @96TruWarierQB, @Basketball_Ron, and @ThugRaider37. One more, and Artest will have as many Twitter accounts as Kobe has rings.) If you're not the modeling type and just want to watch Artest's viral marketing campaign, you can view, "ANOTHER RON ARTEST VIDEO WITH LOVELY LADIES," according to @96TruWarierQB. (I'll leave this one up to the Googling talents of our adult readers.) More appropriate to this medium than the ladies are the lyrics. "Artest lockin' em up, just doing my thing ... Artest is at it again."
By "lockin' em up," I'm not sure if Artest was referring to defending LeBron James, Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, or all of the above. But we all know what it means that Artest is "at it again." Hold onto your hats, L.A. It's going to be a wild ride.
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| Kobe and Ron Ron have had their run-ins over the years. (Getty Images) |
We all know exactly what we knew the moment Artest announced that he was signing with the Lakers back in July: One way or another, this is going to be one of the most fascinating basketball stories to come along in years.
The Lakers looked at Artest's defensive impact and squeaky clean off-court comportment in Houston last season and decided he was worth the risk. Throw in the fact that if he hadn't signed with L.A., Artest would've joined forces with Shaq and LeBron in Cleveland, and it was practically a no brainer. In my mind, there's only one player in the NBA who competes as ruthlessly as Bryant, and now Kobe has him for a teammate instead of a potential tormentor in the Finals. If all goes well, Artest's tweeting and YouTubing will be relegated to barely audible background noise by the time we get to June.
But what about on the court? Here, we must put on our data-diving hat and compare Artest to the player he's replacing. Ariza is five years younger and more athletic, and his 3-point shooting and penchant for clutch steals in the playoffs were major factors in the Lakers' successful title run.
According to Synergy Sports Technology, which logs and categorizes every play during the NBA season, Artest and Ariza exerted their influence in very different ways. Based on 36-minute averages in 2008-09, Artest provided more 3-point field goals (6.8 vs. Ariza's 3.4), more assists (3.4 vs. 2.7), and more blocks (0.98 vs. 0.54). Ariza was good for more offensive rebounds (2.06 vs. 0.97) and steals (2.53 vs. 1.57), plus fewer turnovers (1.62 vs. 2.13).
In terms of how they were used, Artest was more versatile, producing more field goals off screens (29-8), in isolation (108-20), as the pick-and-roll ball handler (74-17), and on post-ups (38-7). Ariza had more field goals on offensive rebounds (35-22), as a cutter (46-13), and in transition (92-53). Their shooting percentages were comparable in every category in which each player had at least 25 attempts.
What does it all mean? If you're the Lakers and need to chase down another title before the window closes, Artest gives you a better chance to make that happen now. If you're Rockets GM Daryl Morey, you'll be well served by having a productive, improving Ariza in two or three years when the Lakers' dynasty is over. By that time, Artest will still be collecting more than $7 million a year from Dr. Buss even though he'll be better suited to rapping full time.
Understanding Artest's mindset is just as difficult as trying to dissect his past. He is one of the most impactful players in the game, with a full ledger of pluses and minuses. For the Lakers, the good outweighs the bad. All that is left to do is play the games, enjoy the drama and figure out which courtside seat goes to Shin Shin.
