|A fine lawyer Davis does not make. (Getty Images)|
In January 2011, a woman named Makini Chaka filed a civil complaint against Redskins tight end Fred Davis for allegedly dumping juice on her head and busting her lip at a Washington D.C. night club. She also accused him of threatening to kill her.
Davis, meanwhile, says Chaka is trying to extort money from him.
Now, here's where the story gets freakin' crazy. Davis is serving as his own counsel, and in a court hearing in April, he said, “It's just all made up and flagellant.” Like Inigo Montoya once summarized, I think “flagellant “does not mean what Davis thinks it means.
Anyway, that's only scratching the surface of how much of a disaster this court case has become. You can read the full account in the Washingtonian, which I unequivocally endorse you to do.
Chaka says she's a “celebrity broker,” and helps set up parties for those who are famous. But Davis' bodyguard said she's actually a pimp (in my opinion, though, that doesn't mean the jobs are mutually exclusive) and has worked with other NFL players.
You can read all the sordid details in the long Washingtonian piece, but here's one highlight from the April hearing when Davis was cross-examining Chaka while she examined a picture of Chaka, another woman and two men.
From the story:
Davis: “As it shows, you also have your hand on his genitals. I mean why would you take a picture like that?”
Chaka: “I do not. Let's look closely at the exhibit right here, Judge. Where is my hand placed in this exhibit?”
Judge: “I do not answer questions. . . . The witness does.”
Chaka: “Can you tell me where my hand is actually at in this photo?”
Davis: “It looks like it's in the genitals to me. I mean your hands are on his genitals. Your hand is on his—”
Ladies and gentlemen, your legal system at work.
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