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Kellen Winslow says he wasn't masturbating, just changing clothes

By Ryan Wilson | CBSSports.com

Kellen Winslow responds to allegations that he was masturbating in a Target parking lot. (USATSI)
Kellen Winslow responds to allegations that he was masturbating in a Target parking lot. (USATSI)

Kellen Winslow can explain. He was arrested Nov. 19 for possession of synthetic marijuana as well as allegedly masturbating in his automobile in a Target parking lot.

The story somehow gets weirder; when authorities arrived, Winslow, who was wearing pants, explained that he was looking for a Boston Market. In related news...

According to the police report, Winslow had "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console," as well as empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" and empty bags of "Mr. Happy."

Clearly, we have no idea how to properly enjoy all that a Target parking lot has to offer. In any event, Winslow's publicist has issued a statement on the whole (allegedly) sordid ordeal.

“Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance. He changed his clothes in his vehicle as not to smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim.”

And if you believe that, mystery solved. Either way, you can view the police report here:

Meanwhile, the Jets have declined comment.

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