"So what did you get your significant other on Valentines Day?" Stewart began. "Can you remember back then? Might not have been much. Chances are it's better than what Ray Rice got his fiancee. ... You can imagine the NFL was none too happy. ...
"So let's get to the punishment ... two games?" Stewart continued. "Unless one of the games is professional football what kind of message to you think this is sending?"
Stewart then proceeded to call out ... well, just about everybody, even making the case fans and media have pointed to frequently in recent days: "The NFL suspends you four games for smoking pot, which is actually legal in one of the cities the NFL operates in. To be clear, the NFL suspends you twice as long if what you hit is (a bong). ESPN suspended (Stephen A. Smith) for a week just for talking about (the Ray Rice situation) wrong."
It goes on for more than five minutes, including a segment from senior sports correspondent Jason Jones and pleas from Stewart begging the Giants to be something other than awful.
On Thursday, Rice spoke to the media for the first time since training camp opened and called the altercation with his wife "my lowest low," adding that "I made a huge mistake."
And on Friday, commissioner Roger Goodell said of Rice's two-game suspension, "We have to remain consistent. We can't just make up the discipline. It has to be consistent with other cases and it was."
We can see Stewart's "I can't believe what I just heard" face from here.