During football season the bulk of my social media duties revolved around answering lineup questions or free agency scenarios on twitter. "T.Y. Hilton or Steve Smith?" they'd ask. "Choose one: Big Ben, Alex Smith or Jake Locker," they'd demand. It's probably not hard to see how hundreds upon hundreds of these queries revolving around the same handful of fringe players could get a bit repetitive.
Then this guy came along.
Alright last one... Michael Pittman, or Kevin Barlow? @CBSFantasyFB— Mohamed Dabaje (@MoeDabaje) August 26, 2013
I deal with trolls by the dozen, but at least this guy was clever about it. So I decided to humor him.
@MoeDabaje Go with Peerless Price and T.J. Duckett instead.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) August 26, 2013
He thanked me, and that was that. Another question popped up a few days later.
@MoeDabaje Alge Crumpler all day.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) August 29, 2013
@MoeDabaje Try and flip Hakim for a Joey Galloway type.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) October 29, 2013
@MoeDabaje Go with Couch. Simeon Rice is gonna be all over Brooks.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) October 30, 2013
I began to theorize that this Twitter user wasn't a troll at all. Maybe he somehow got stuck in a time rift somewhere around 2002 with access to today's internet. Instead of figuring out how to win the lottery or invent Facebook, he just shrugged and joined a couple Fantasy leagues. This lazy time traveler quickly became my favorite Twitter follower, and I made it a point to help him out whenever I could.
@MoeDabaje Go with Thomas. Davis won't get past Dana Stubblefield very often.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) November 8, 2013
@CBSFantasyFB What do you think for this week.. Caddilac Williams, or Tatum Bell? I really need this win.— Mohamed Dabaje (@MoeDabaje) December 10, 2013
@MoeDabaje We're projecting Patrick Ramsey to go bananas this week, so roll with Coles and win that trophy.— CBS Fantasy Football (@CBSFantasyFB) December 22, 2013
So here's to you, Mr. Debaje -- wherever and whenever you are. Thanks for making Sundays a little more interesting, and be sure to take a flier on an unheralded rookie receiver named Anquan Boldin. We've got a strong hunch about him.