Bill Belichick's press conferences are just the best.
Bill Belichick's press conferences are just the best. (USATSI)

For sarcastic, rapidly-aging grumpsters (we call ourselves "old souls"), there's nothing more delightful than a Bill Belichick press conference. Belichick can fire out platitudes with the best of them, but it's his disdain for narrative-fueled questions about other teams that really raises the bar.

To wit: a reporter on Friday asked Belichick what he thought about the Broncos losing on Thursday night to the Chargers, thereby opening up the door for the Patriots to grab the No. 1 seed in the AFC if they win out. The result was glorious in all its simplicity.

"There's nothing we can do about anything except what we do," Belichick said. "I don't care about anyone else."

At one point in time I didn't care for Belichick's press conferences. As I've gotten older, though, I keep appreciating them more and more. The dude has a press-conference repertoire that's the envy of every coach at every level in every sport.

He can be cold-blooded when he needs to be, jovial if the questions are interesting and actually football-related and sometimes -- and this is my favorite trick -- Belichick will become purposefully loquacious in order to minimize the number of questions you can ask him.

What makes that so special is everyone comes away from the press conference going "Man, Bill's in a good mood this week!" He is not. If you don't believe me just ask him about the Broncos.