Most people think of it as the day we celebrate the NFL expansion into Salem, Mass. Me? I think of it as the afternoon I have to sit through another Lions' loss. I'm grateful that may not be the case this year, but that's not all I think about this Thanksgiving.
In fact, I can count 22 ways to say grace Thursday, mostly because it's Nov. 22 and because every time I wonder what's wrong in Miami I keep coming up with 22 names.
Anyway, let's all join hands and be thankful that:
1. You're not New England's next opponent.
2. The next time you're in Foxborough you're not mistaken for Eric Mangini.
3. Your pet isn't registered at the Bad Newz Kennels.
4. Terrell Owens is seen, not heard.
5. There are only six weeks of football left in Miami.
6. You're not named Chris Henry.
7. Ricky Williams has a burning desire to play, if you know what I mean.
8. Albert Haynesworth decided on football this fall instead of soccer.
9. Bill Cowher may be coming to a football team near you.
10. Al Davis can still win Super Bowls ... for New England.
11. Tony Romo is as good with footballs as he is with ribs.
12. Winston Justice didn’t make the Secret Service's final cut.
13. The Pentagon is not in Cincinnati.
14. Bill Belichick doesn't have a twin brother.
15. You're not in line for dinner behind Sam Adams.
16. You're not Vinny Testaverde's retirement planner.
17. Derek Anderson got a chance in Cleveland.
18. Your child's sex-ed class isn't held at Giants Stadium.
19. You don’t spend Sundays in the Bay Area.
20. The Philadelphia Eagles retired their throwback uniforms.
21. Brett Favre didn't listen to Vinny Testaverde's retirement planner, either.
22. We don't have to wait until February for a Super Bowl winner.
