3 p.m. ET
GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Michael Strahan goes about Super Bowl media day with the right attitude: This is only going to last an hour, so have fun with it, and then be done with it.
|Michael Strahan (AP)|
This is how it went down with Strahan:
Question: Who would play you in a movie?
Answer: Let me see. It would have to be someone with a sense of humor, someone who's also ...
Question: Forest Whitaker?
Answer: Forest Whitaker? Come on, man. Come on. Dang.
Question: Will Smith?
Answer: That's better. We'd have to bulk him up and put a gap in his front teeth, but Will Smith could get it done.
|Eli Manning (AP)|
Answer: Tobey Maguire.
Question: Tom Brady?
Answer: Brad Pitt. He's got that floppy hair, so he'd need someone who had that floppy hair going on. Brad Pitt.
And there you have it. Breaking news from Media Day.
I just saw: Chris Berman. Soon you will, too. See, it's not enough for Berman, who works for an all-sports network, to merely ask questions. Unlike every other reporter here, Berman has to worm his way onto the dais so he can be right there when the question is answered. It gets old. Plus his comb-over is brutal. There. I said it. ... Some idiot from (where else?) South America is dressed in a turban, asking players to tell the future. ...
|'Miss Brady' (Getty Images)|
I just heard: Someone called Toccara, who was apparently on the UPN show America's Next Top Model once upon a time, got an interview with Giants tight end Jerome Collins and asked him this probing question: "Back at the hotel, are you getting massages? A little mud?" I can't deny. I waited to hear the answer. (No, he's not getting mud.)
I happen to know: Media Day grew up as the day went along. Most of the idiots wore themselves out in the first hour with the Patriots. The dumb factor was lower for the Giants. Which is a shame.
2 p.m. ET
GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Apparently we have a winner for "worst question of the day" here at Super Bowl Media Day.
|Gregg Doyel's busted nose (Provided to CBSSports.com)|
The guilty party: Me.
OK, here's the story. Last night I went to a hole-in-the-wall boxing gym in downtown Phoenix, the kind of place where adults gather just to watch boxers work out. Some dude comes up to me as I'm hitting a heavy bag and says he's got a 178-pounder who needs to get some sparring in for his next amateur fight. Tells me his fighter is 21 and has a 6-1 amateur record. Tells me his fighter stands 6-feet-1. I'm 5-10 and about 160, but what the heck? I love sparring. So we spar.
Near the end of the third round the guy hits me with an uppercut that started in Tucson and ended at my nose. Splattered it. Broke it bad. Which is fine, but I needed a picture for posterity's sake, seeing how I look like a proboscis monkey. So I asked another writer to take a picture of my nose.
|Kellie Pickler (US Presswire)|
1:30 p.m. ET
GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Kellie Pickler is running amok. She is followed by a lackey with a clipboard who keeps telling her to "do the next gag."
What are these gags? In one, Pickler convinced practice-squad tight end Jason Rader, No. 85, to wear Tom Brady's No. 12 and put on a wig with a mullet. Rader can expect to be cut in the next 48 hours.
In another, Pickler conned Patriots receiver Kelley Washington into taking off his cleats and trying on a pair of ruby red slippers. Washington might have gotten away with it, but defensive lineman Rashad Moore wandered past moments later.
"Man, I hope you didn't put those on your feet," Moore said.
|Turban Guy (AP)|
"You put heels on your feet?" Moore said. "Dude."
Pickler was gone. She had more gags to pull.
I just saw: A 7-footer trying to interview some players. That's cool. Let me see who it is. Oh -- that's not cool. That's John Salley. ... Someone asked the NFL Network's Steve Mariucci if he plans to coach the Washington Redskins. Interestingly, Mariucci refused to answer the question. ... Tedy Bruschi's last name was misspelled on the nameplate over his podium. It said: Brushci. Oddly, the name "Tedy" was done correctly.
I just heard: Someone ask Bruschi to sing the Arizona fight song. Bruschi declined, so the offending reporter sang the dang thing himself. And did the Wildcats proud, according to Bruschi. "Good job, by the way," Bruschi told him. ... Some idiot is going around asking various Patriots which famous woman he would pick for a mate, if he could have any of them. The idiot didn't ask Tom Brady. I'll admit to being curious to know the answer to that question myself. ... Randy Moss was asked who should play Brady in a movie on the Patriots' season. Moss declined to say: "I don't want to get on Tom's bad side."
|Tedy Bruschi (US Presswire)|
12:45 p.m. ET
GLENDALE, Ariz. -- This is going to anger some people, but the truth is always a defense, and the truth is, the NFL needs to revoke the credentials of TV Azteca and a handful of other South American-based media sites that have helped turn Media Day into a joke.
Then again, I like a good joke.
|Marisol Gonzalez (AP)|
Another TV Azteca reporter is dressed in a sexy wedding gown -- white veil, dress and stockings, with red shoes -- and holding a sign that reads, "The Real Miss Brady." Apparently she's not smart enough to know that the correct word is "Mrs." Yeesh.
Two Spanish-speaking radio people are interviewing each other with puppets. And other media are watching this happen, with cameras rolling.
God, journalism sucks.
I just saw: Claudia Jordan from Deal or No Deal grab three practice-squad Patriots -- Bam Childress, Tim Mixon and Gemara Williams -- and tell them, "I'm going to show you how to walk the red carpet." I'll be damned, but she had a red carpet laid out, and she walked all three across it.
|Randy Moss (AP)|
I happen to know: Tom Brady is more important than the rest of the Patriots combined. How do I know? Because after Bill Belichick walked out of the locker room and onto the field for Media Day, followed by his players, a security official watching the whole thing whispered into his collar-microphone, "Belichick is on the field, walking to his post. Looking for Brady now."
Meanwhile, 52 other Patriots walked past. No whispering into the collar-mike.
11:58 a.m. ET
GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Media day starts in two minutes.
|Brandon Meriweather, Miss Nevada (Getty Images)|
I just saw: Miss Nevada getting ready to interview players, although you wouldn't know she's Miss Nevada. Other than the huge white sash she's wearing from shoulder to hip that says "Miss Nevada." ... American Idol loser Kellie Pickler throwing a football. She throws a nice tight spiral, but still she throws like a girl. People who follow that TV show more closely than I do say she has apparently had some surgical enhancement. Two of them, if you know what I mean. What do I mean? I have no idea.
I happen to know: The media came to Media Day in a five-bus caravan that was led by a nine-cycle police motorcade. Imagine what they'll do to protect the New England Patriots before the actual game. Battleships?