Doyel's Dribbles: Super Bowl XLII Edition

10:03 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- For 52 minutes this was one of the worst Super Bowls in a long, long time.

Eli drives the Giants to the victory. What a finish. (AP)

And then it became great.

Tom Brady drives the Patriots 80 yards for an efficient, cold-as-ice touchdown to give New England a 14-10 lead with 2:42 to play.

Eli Manning drives the Giants to midfield, then muscles and spins his way out of a third-down sack and throws a long pass up for grabs ... and David Tyree grabs it at the Patriots 24, pinning the ball to his helmet with one hand as safety Rodney Harrison is trying to pry it away.

Manning then completes a third-and-11 pass to extend the drive to the Giants 13, and with 35 seconds left his next pass finds guarantee-making Plaxico Burress in the end zone for the winning touchdown.

New York 17, New England 14.

Long live the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

9:42 p.m. ET

Brady to Moss ... duh. (AP)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Tom Brady just reaffirmed why he's the best in the business, throwing to Randy Moss for eight yards and a 14-10 Patriots lead.

Now it's Eli Manning's turn.

He has 2:42 to lead the Giants down the field and fulfill all that was expected of him when he was once the No. 1 overall draft pick. The problem is, Plaxico Burress has disappeared. Can Eli Manning do it with his second, third and fourth options? Again?

He has a long way to go. Almost 85 yards.

9:38 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- This is why Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the league, and in the conversation for the best quarterback of all time. With the stakes at their highest and the outlook at its bleakest, Brady has gone 7-for-8 to get the Patriots inside the New York 10 with 3:12 to play.

You know a TD is coming ... to Randy Moss. Patriots 14-10.

9:24 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- They call it "hidden yardage," the yards gained and lost on special teams, and New York punt returner R.W. McQuarters has stashed all kinds of hidden yardage for the benefit of the Giants.

His latest punt return, a 9-yarder with 9:20 left and the Giants leading 10-7, was another example. The punt was going out of bounds at the 20 when McQuarters grabbed it in mid-air, stayed in bounds while avoiding a tackler, and tiptoed nine yards up the sideline. Whether it's a play like that, or picking up repeated punts on the bounce inside the Giants 20 and advancing the ball a handful of yards, he has probably meant close to 50 yards for New York.

In a game with little offense on either side, that 50-yard advantage has been huge for the Giants.

9:15 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- The New York Giants are 11 minutes and 5 seconds away from one of the biggest upsets in NFL history.

David Tyree's score gives the Giants the lead. Whoa. (AP)

This can't be happening, but it is. The Giants defense is ruining Tom Brady's night, and Eli Manning is making just enough passes -- with more than enough time -- to have the Giants on top 10-7 after Manning's 5-yard TD strike to David Tyree.

Two other perfect passes by Manning -- 45 yards to Kevin Boss, 17 to Steve Smith -- and Ahmad Bradshaw's tough inside running got the Giants to the doorstep of the end zone. And then Tyree beat Patriots stud cornerback Asante Samuel for the score.

Josh McDaniels, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady -- the three smartest people in the world, according to the Boston press -- have 11 minutes to remove their dunce cap.

8:55 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Plaxico Burress continues to drop passes. They're not easy catches, but if you're the one guy who predicts a win, and names a score, you have to be the one guy who makes the tough plays. Or any plays, come to think of it.

Come on Plaxico, time to step up. (Getty Images)

By the way, did you see that New York punt that the official ceremoniously ruled out of bounds at the 10, even as the Giants were complaining and the Giants fans were booing?

That punt was kicked directly at me. I'm sitting in that corner, in the upper deck, and the punt was aimed right at me (and Freeman). And let me tell you, the official nailed the spot. That ball sailed out of bounds directly over the 10. I promise. Kind of cool to be me, if only for a second.

And now the second is gone.

Sigh.

Still 7-3, Patriots ball, late in the third quarter.

8:49 p.m. ET

What are you thinking Bill? Kick the field goal! (AP)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Bill Belichick and Tom Brady need to be drug-tested for dumb pills.

Brady lets himself get sacked on third down, pushing the Patriots into long field-goal range of roughly 48 yards ... and then Belichick decides not to kick the thing at all. Belichick goes for it on fourth-and-13 at the 31, which was dumb the second he made the decision and only got dumber as the play unfolded: a Brady incompletion through the end zone.

I'm sort of speechless. The Patriots' offense is being made to look horrific by the New York defense.

Josh McDaniels, show me something. Anything. You skinny little Charlie Weis.

8:33 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Brady just isn't sharp. It's the same thing I noticed in pre-game warm-ups -- he's throwing too many passes behind his receivers. They're catchable passes, but not good passes.

Case in point: The third-and-5 screen to Kevin Faulk, which Brady threw so far behind him that Faulk had to spin 360 degrees to pull it in. By that time, a New York linebacker was there to make the play. Had Brady led Faulk -- and this was a short, easy pass with plenty of time to throw it -- Faulk would have had the first down easily and might have turned the corner for big yardage.

8:18 p.m. ET

Tom Petty? Seriously? (AP)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Tom Petty? Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake do their naughty thing, so we get stuck with Paul McCartney and now Tom Petty?

Petty's halftime set was a trip through the past. Why? Because all he has is a past. He has no present, and his future is especially bleak. The NFL ought to do better than a couple of aging rockers with no current relevance.

Get us Ludacris or 50 Cent or even Nickelback. I'll listen to "Rock Star" played over and over for 12 minutes instead of Tom Petty's greatest hits. Who's up next year? Peter, Paul and Mary?

7:55 p.m. ET

Josh McDaniels, keep your QB safe! (Getty Images)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- You want my expert analysis of the first half, which ended with the Patriots leading 7-3? Here you go: New York defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo spent the first 30 minutes kicking the ass of New England offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels.

Spagnuolo consistently devised schemes to get pressure on Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, and McDaniels couldn't figure out a way to stop it.

If McDaniels can't come up with an adjustment at halftime, I'm going to seriously wonder if this guy is really the boy genius everyone says he is ... or if he's the next Charlie Weis. Only slimmer.

As I write this, the Giants just sacked Brady with 10 seconds left in the half, forcing a fumble that New York recovered. The replay has me wondering about the health of Brady's throwing shoulder, which just got jerked in a bad way.

7:43 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- It's the two-minute warning of the Super Bowl, and the P.A. guy is giving the crowd instructions on how to take part in the halftime show by waving their NFL-provided mini flashlights at the stage and "singing along with the chorus to this well-known Tom Petty song!"

Eli fumbled! Neighbors are good for something. (AP)

Gag me. The P.A. guy is starting to get on my nerves almost as much as play-by-play guy on my right, and gloating Freeman on my left.

But I'll admit that play-by-play guy came in handy a few minutes ago. I was looking down to research some stats -- OK, I was eating my carrots -- when Eli Manning was hit from behind and fumbled.

"Fumble!" play-by-play guy shrieked. I looked up just in time to see Ahmad Bradshaw illegally bat the ball up the field, hoping for a first down in the scrum. How that isn't a loss-of-down penalty, I don't know.

Anyway, play-by-play guy probably has on coaches' shorts underneath his khakis. He's definitely wearing jogging shoes with his khakis.

Weak.

7:17 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Plaxico Burress is a choker but Ellis Hobbs flat out sucks. Advantage: New York.

Hobbs gets the INT, but anybody could have. (AP)

Burress, who made that ridiculous 23-17 prediction in part because he wears No. 17 -- what if he wore No. 80? -- dropped an easy catch after the Patriots' first touchdown drive. But the drop was rectified by Amani Toomer, who beat Hobbs on a 50-50 ball way down the field.

Now that I write that, Hobbs just picked off a pass. But it was an easy pick. Steve Smith bobbled an easy catch, letting the ball hang in the air for Hobbs to pluck.

I could have made that pick. And I'm 37. But my mohawk is cool. In a bald sort of way.

By the way, the guy on the other side of me -- I won't name him, but he works for the four-letter website -- has this irritating habit of calling out the formation, the development of the play (safety blitz!) and whether the first-down yardage was achieved. Who is he talking to? Himself, I guess. Very odd.

Play-by-play guy is on my right. Gloating Freeman is on my left. I need that emergency evacuation advice again. I'm starting to feel faint.

7:02 p.m. ET

Maroney pounds it in from one yard out. (Getty Images)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- This kills me every time it happens.

The first quarter ends with the ball as close to the end zone as it can be. And so the players have to walk the entire length of the field, but the Giants have to walk a little bit farther. Think about it. The Patriots offense will huddle at the 10, so from one 10 to the other is about 80 yards. But the poor New York defense -- which huddles in the end zone -- has to walk about 106 yards.

Heartbreaking, really.

By the way, Brady doesn't look terribly sharp, and neither do his receivers, and still the Patriots are inches away from a touchdown. Doesn't bode well for the Giants.

I told Freeman the Giants were screwed by that measly field goal!

Ahem.

6:48 p.m. ET

Ten minutes for three points? Good start. (Getty Images)

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Freeman thinks he knows more football than me, which is why he thinks the Giants' opening drive -- a field goal after using up 10 minutes of game clock -- was a bad thing for the Giants.

I say it was great. It took off 10 minutes of a 60-minute game clock, and the Patriots still haven't touched the ball yet. I'm not saying the Giants just won the game, but playing keep-away from New England is a good thing, whether it ends in a field goal or a touchdown.

Freeman just leaned over and told me to mention how he knows much more football than I do.

Knucklehead. Stick to your shea butter hand sanitizer.

6:32 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Camera flashbulbs are crackling like fireflies. That has to be a tired way to describe this scene, but that's what it looks like right before kickoff. Little bolts of light erupting all over the stadium.

Jordin Sparks sounded so good, maybe she wasn't singing? (AP)

It's official, by the way. The P.A. guy just asked Giants fans, and then Patriots fans, "Are you ready?"

Patriots fans were at least twice as loud. So either there are a lot more people here cheering for New England ... or all the New Yorkers are in the bathroom.

Speaking of which, guys all over the men's room are setting their beers on the urinal as they take care of business. And then they grab the beer and resume drinking.

Remember that old Seinfeld episode where George double-dips a chip and is accused of putting his whole mouth in the dip tray? That's what I think of: Setting your beer on a public urinal is like putting your whole mouth into the ... um ... right.

Jordin Sparks was so good on the national anthem, I'm thinking it was lip-synced. Freeman says no way. He's got the binoculars, so he should know. Plus he covered Jordin's father a long, long time ago.

Kickoff! Giants ball on the 25. Let's go.

6:19 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- OK, that was cool.

This is how the Giants entered the field:

With the scoreboard showing a clip of the players talking tough while 30 volunteers on the field were holding long New York Giants flags and then -- in unison -- sweeping them up into the air to make a path. And then the Giants came bounding out of the locker room and onto the field, through those upraised banners. When the last Giant was through, the banners went back down.

Cool.

Same thing for the Patriots, only they lose cool points for entering the field to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne.

Cliché. That's the song Mark Lansing had played before his at-bats when he played for the Montreal Expos. Enough said.

6:10 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- The guy on the P.A. system keeps droning on and on, so finally I stop blogging to listen to what he's saying. And this is what I hear:

" ... and that's the emergency evacuation plan for the University of Phoenix Stadium. The NFL thanks you for being prepared."

Terrific.

I'm going to die here because I was too busy blogging to hear the emergency evacuation plan? I need a raise -- attach it to my life insurance policy, please.

On the field are nine young men I assume wish they were dead. There's no way they wish to be on the field, in front of nearly 70,000 fans before the Super Bowl, twirling those fake rifles for the Arizona State marching band while wearing unspeakable outfits -- yellow spandex body suits with some sort of racing stripe, like a new superhero called "The Yellow Jacket."

And they're not eunuchs, if you know what I mean. This is just gross. First the Nickelback song, and now these dorks. This is no place for children.

Freeman was staring at the Yellow Jackets with his binoculars. He offered them to me. No thank you.

6 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Tom Brady is not happy.

He has just uncorked three badly thrown passes in a row during warmups, and if you think warmups don't matter, you're not watching Brady's reaction. After the first two tosses -- behind his receivers on mid-range seam routes straight up the field -- he jerked his head back in disgust.

After the third throw, a long pass that was well overthrown, Brady pulled off his helmet and walked off in frustration. The Super Bowl starts in about 30 minutes, and I'm starting to hate my prediction of a Patriots blowout.

On second thought ... no I'm not.

By the way, the song Rock Star by Nickelback is being played for the crowd, and they didn't bleep out the line about hiring "bodyguards to beat up assholes." Hey, if they can play that line for 70,000 people inside this dome -- many of them kids -- I can write it for you. Can I not?

Freeman doesn't know who sings Rock Star, by the way. He carries around hand sanitizer and doesn't know Nickelback.

Weak.

5:45 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- If this game goes to overtime, it might never end. Not if both coaches play for field goals.

Lawrence Tynes isn't exactly perfect in warmups. (AP)

I just watched both kickers warm up, and they were not good. They were, you might even say, bad. At one end of the field the Giants' Lawrence Tynes pulled a 33-yarder left. At the other end, the Patriots' Stephen Gostkowski tried a 55-yarder and missed. But it's the way he missed. He chunked the kick, barely reaching the end zone. If this were a golf course, he would have hit a fat driver from the tee box, directly into the lake.

Oh, and there you are, Tom Brady. An hour after Eli Manning was on the field, Brady finally comes out to warm up. And he came out fired up. He was bouncing up and down like a college kid, not like a three-time Super Bowl champion and league MVP who's dating a super model.

Brady's ankle looks OK.

Here is the inactive list for each team:

Patriots: QB Matt Gutierrez, WR Chad Jackson, WR Troy Brown, CB Antwain Spann, TE Stephen Spach, OT Wesley Britt, G Billy Yates, DL Santonio Thomas.

Giants: QB Jared Lorenzen, RB Danny Ware, WR Sinorice Moss, TE Jerome Collins, DB Geoffrey Pope, DT Russell Davis, OT Adam Koets.

Freeman wanted me to mention that he ran 9 miles through Phoenix and was disturbed by the homeless problem. I told him I don't believe it. No way he ran 9 miles.

5:30 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- More lies.

Tom Brady is ready to go in the Pats' sixth Super Bowl appearance. (AP)

The public address guy just yelled, "Here come the New York Giants!" By my count, there are ... five New York Giants on the field. It's going to take more than five to beat the Patriots. New England has that many people in its video department. Rim shot!

The P.A. guy just yelled the same thing about the Patriots, and sure enough about five Patriots ran onto the field. What's important to note is the crowd reaction: This place is now about 40 percent full, and the Patriots drew a lot more cheers.

Looks like New York will be the road team. Typical. New York is used to being the road team. And that's another reason to loathe the city of New York. Its fans are so brutal, the Giants have only been able to play their best away from home.

Makes you proud, doesn't it, New Yorkers? You brood of vipers. ...

Freeman's from New York, you know. And the dainty little guy just pulled out some hand sanitizer -- "with shea butter" -- and offered me some. I said no. Hand sanitizer, at the Super Bowl?

Weak.

5:15 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- This is how television lies.

I'm watching the live TV feed of Alicia Keys' concert on Fox as I sit in the aux box, where I can also watch the event with my own eyes, and from the TV vantage point it looks like she's surrounded by a frenzied crowd. And to an extent, she is.

Alicia Keyes' pregame show was enjoyed by dozens of 'fans.' (AP)

More than 100 kids -- I knew there would be kids -- were trucked onto the field to crowd around the stage at midfield. But beyond the semi-circle of children, the field is empty. Beyond the field, the stadium is mostly empty.

But on TV, the whole thing looks fabulous.

TV just lied to you.

This wasn't fabulous. This was a fraud, a deception perpetrated on the American public.

Freeman's watching with his binoculars. He just told me, "I think I used to date all those backup singers."

Are there any men in the chorus? Just asking.

5 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- This is an inexact science, but this is my blog. You want exact science? Read Bill Nye the Science Guy's blog. Assuming he has a blog. Assuming he's still alive. Yeesh.

Tedy Bruschi relaxes with his boys before his fifth Super Bowl. (AP)

So about the inexact science ... I believe the Patriots are going to have a rather pronounced home-field advantage here. The reason? A welcome-to-the-game message from one player on each team -- Eli Manning of the Giants, Tedy Bruschi of the Patriots -- just played over the dome's super scoreboard.

Manning's message was greeted mostly with boos. Bruschi got an ovation.

The dome is only 15 percent filled -- another inexact measurement -- but the early returns are overwhelmingly pro-Patriots.

Alicia Keys is going to sing in a few minutes. Do I seem giddy? I am not. And if there are the usual 100 or so kids on the field, singing along with Keys as if she really gives a damn about the whippersnappers, I might get ill.

I'm getting cranky. Freeman's shaded screen has me in a bad mood.

4:50 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- OK, this is just weird.

As fans are trickling into the stadium, the dome's enormous TV screen is playing a bizarre rendition of the U.S. Constitution as read by NFL players and coaches. Imagine being a fan and paying $4,000 for your ticket and having to listen to that.

Eli Manning warms up before his first Super Bowl. (AP)

Imagine being Eli Manning and having to listen. Manning is the first quarterback on the field, getting out here roughly two hours before kickoff to warm up with his receivers. Before you read too much into his work ethic, understand that his backup, Anthony Wright, is warming up at the other end of the field. This must be a Tom Coughlin thing.

Anyway, imagine being Eli Manning and stepping onto the field for your first Super Bowl, and the first voice you hear -- the first! -- belongs to your brother Peyton.

On the TV screen, Peyton Manning just read the part in the Constitution that says, "All men are created equal."

Not all of them, Peyton. I've seen you, and I've seen Eli. Definitely not equal ...

Freeman has some sort of portable shade that he leans against his laptop screen. He says it knocks out the glare of overhead lights, but in reality it keeps the writers on his left and right from being able to read his screen. I don't like it. He can see mine, but I can't see his.

I'm talking about computer screens, people.

4:30 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Traffic outside is a mess. I'm so high up inside this dome that I can look out a window and see cars for miles. I'm like Yertle the turtle, king of all I see. I've always wanted to write that.

Needless to say, it's good to be the King. (Getty Images)

Anyway, traffic's bad outside the stadium. That's what passes for news two hours before kickoff.

Inside the stadium, movement is starting to happen on the sidelines. The bench areas are set up with towels and oscillating fans, which are already turned on in an egregious waste of electricity, seeing how there's nobody to be fanned. The Giants' bench area has two exercise bikes for players who need to keep muscles loose between action. But what if more than two Giants have stiffening muscles? There could be a conflict.

No such conflict on the New England sideline. There's not a single bicycle. I guess when you use HGH, your muscles don't get stiff.

Oh. And Freeman ate his Gatorade energy bar. Greedy bastard.

4:10 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- Jared Lorenzen is one big tub of goo, but the New York Giants' third-string quarterback sure does love football.

Not much activity on the field before the game. (US Presswire)

Two weeks ago he was the first player on the field, two hours before the NFC Championship Game in Green Bay, and it was minus-20 that day. Today he was the first player on the field again, running around like a little kid as he played catch with anybody who would play catch with him a good three hours before kickoff.

If I were a pro football player, I'd be Jared Lorenzen. Minus 100 pounds. ...

Sobering thought. The average Super Bowl ticket is going for $4,000, give or take a few bucks, and every one of us in the aux box -- there must be 300 of us -- is taking up two seats each. There's the seat we're sitting in (on our Super Bowl XLII seat cushions) and there's the seat that holds our laptop.

The NFL lost $8,000 in ticket revenue, not to mention parking and concessions, so I can sit here and write about my lunch box? I feel sick. ...

Kickoff is 2½ hours away. The blog better get better. Lord knows it can't get worse.

3:15 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- The roof is closed for now and the stadium is closed to the regular people -- the little people -- but on the field there is action. Or at least movement. Slow, slow movement.

What is Doyel talking about? Here. (Getty Images)

Some poor sap has the job of driving a tractor with an attachment that fluffs up the field turf. Or fluffs it down. Who knows what you do with field turf? Whatever he's doing, he's doing it slowly. If he's moving any faster than 1 mph, I'd be shocked.

Two other suckers are struggling with one of those wooden-mesh things you see being used to drag a baseball infield -- but these guys don't have a tractor. They're pulling the thing by hand, and like the guy on the tractor, they're apparently going to cover every square inch of the football field.

Any idea how many square inches there are on a football field? Someone do the math and post the answer on the message board below, please.

Oh. Freeman's here, and he offered me his Mesquite BBQ chips. I'm holding out for his Gatorade energy bar. Just so you know.

2 p.m. ET

GLENDALE, Ariz. -- OK, so I'm here. Kickoff's not for another 4½ hours, but that's not the point. I'm here. At University of Phoenix Stadium. Site of Super Bowl XLII.

Let me tell you what this place looks like, 4½ hours before kickoff.

We hope this guy doesn't have better seats than Doyel. (AP)

First, it's mostly empty except for the 10 men walking around the field with super-duper blowers, blow-drying the hash marks and yard-line markers. You'd think the field would have been painted days ago so this sort of last-minute detailing wouldn't have been necessary, but what do I know? I just sit here in Section 400, Row 7, Seat 7 of the auxiliary press box, which is the media equivalent of the "others receiving votes" category in college football's Top 25 poll. I'm an "other." Good enough to be here, but not good enough to be with the big boys (and girls).

But it's like I said. That's not the point. I'm here. And I'll be here all day. Check back regularly for the kind of analysis and behind-the-scenes scoopage you just won't get anywhere else.

For example ... you need to know how well the media is taken care of. It's kind of embarrassing. We're treated way too good for our own good, but only after we're treated like potential terrorists. Getting the actual credential that will get us into the stadium is a mini-circus with multiple hoops to jump through, but that's OK. Once we get near the stadium, the hoops become dangerous. Men and women with guns watch as we disembark the media bus and set down our briefcases and computer bags, which are sniffed by a police dog looking for explosives or drugs. I hope the dog doesn't have a peanut allergy, because I've got bags of peanut M&M's in my bag. I need my sustenance.

Somebody is certainly a big fan of Giants-themed pins. (AP)

But not here. Here, there is food everywhere. Once you get past the dogs and the guns and take two escalators and one makeshift flight of stairs to the aux box, there is a maroon Super Bowl XLII lunch box waiting at your seat. And it's full! Mine has ... let me see ... two sandwich halves (one turkey, the other ham), an apple, two Grandma's cookies (double chocolate, my favorite; how did they know?), a bag of Miss Vickie's mesquite BBQ chips (Freeman can have those), a can of Lipton Brisk Iced Tea and a Gatorade energy bar (15g protein!). Oh, and a bag of carrots. Someone smarter than me figured a way to pack all of that into such a small canvas lunch box.

Wait. There's also a Nature Valley chewy granola bar in there. Damn.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to make myself comfortable and eat. And I'll be comfortable. The NFL provides every media member with a Super Bowl XLII seat cushion. Apparently they're aware of the dimensions of the typical sports writer.

Come back. Please.