Dressed for distress
11) Emmitt Smith, Arizona Cardinals, 2003-04: As Clyde and Keith tell him in that "Just for Men" commercial: "Your beard is weird!" Well, if they think that's weird they should take a gander at him trying to peek through nonexistent holes in that all-red catastrophe of a uni.
12) Joe Torre, L.A. Dodgers, 2008: He is a laid-back guy and L.A. is a laid-back place, but it's just not possible yet to think that the green tea tastes anywhere near as good in Chavez Ravine as it did on 161st Street.
13) Steve Garvey, San Diego Padres, 1984-86: I'm not convinced the only reason Garvey has been snubbed from the Hall of Fame is that he was responsible for blinding a large number of voters with that taco outfit for which he traded in Dodgers blues.
14) Shaquille O'Neal, Phoenix Suns, 2008-present: The big fella shouldn't feel so bad, because it really isn't easy to pull off any of the bright fluorescent color schemes the Suns favor nowadays. Maybe he can freestyle out his frustration.
15) Steve Serby, New York Daily News, 1993: Thankfully, that didn't last very long. Before too long The Post and the Quintessential Postie were reunited for what already has been one hell of a second act.
(Mike Vaccaro's e-mail address is michael.vaccaro@nypost.com. His book "1941: The Greatest Year in Sports," is available at bookstores everywhere).
WHACKS Vista is more reliable than the Mets bullpen right now.
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With the Little League World Series about to take over your cable box any minute now, it's a splendid time to pick up "Six Good Innings" by Mark Kreidler. This books gives you an irresistible look into just how much the quest for Williamsport can mean to a town - in this case, Toms River, N.J.
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I don't want to say the words "sophomore slump," there's still a lot of ballgame yet, but it wouldn't be terrible if "Mad Men" started hitting a line drive now and again.
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A show of hands, please: who thought the Joba Rules were silly and over the top? Be honest now ...
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