Through five alive? Best, worst of early schedules

When I hear people rave about the New York Jets and Brett Favre, I ask them how Gang Green makes it through its first three games. The Jets open in Miami, where Chad Pennington counts down the days to payback, then come home to meet New England before moving on to San Diego.

Tough.

Which got me to thinking: Who else has it the roughest the first five weeks and who gets a pass? Pass the schedule, and I'll tell you what I think:

The Good

New England

Sept. 7: Kansas City
Sept. 14: at N.Y. Jets
Sept. 21: Miami
Oct. 5: at San Francisco
Oct. 12: at San Diego

The only clubs missing from this schedule are Tufts and Brown Universities. Talk about a cakewalk. The NFL is supposed to be an even playing field, so how come the league's schedule makers didn't get the message? New England's first four opponents were a combined 14-50 a year ago, with opening-day opponent Kansas City dropping its last nine. Great. Tom Brady might throw for 50 TDs the first month. The only chance for a loss is San Diego, but New England won its last three vs. the Chargers -- including twice in the playoffs.

San Diego

Sept. 7: Carolina
Sept. 14: at Denver
Sept. 21: N.Y. Jets
Sept. 28: at Oakland
Oct. 5: at Miami

Looks like nothing worse than a 4-1 start to me, with Denver the only potential loss. The Chargers historically struggle there, though they're 2-0 with Philip Rivers as a starter. Carolina plays them without Steve Smith. Goodbye. I'm not sold on the Jets and Brett Favre. Oakland? Forget it. When it comes to San Diego, they have a commitment to negligence -- losing their past nine to the Chargers. Miami? The Dolphins won one game last season. The Chargers were one victory from a Super Bowl. Add up the three opponents immediately before New England on Oct. 12, and you have a combined 9-39 record ... or a three-week bye.

Kansas City

Sept. 7: at New England
Sept. 14: Oakland
Sept. 21: at Atlanta
Sept. 28: Denver
Oct. 5: at Carolina

Look, I'm not about to argue the relative merits of the Chiefs vs., say, the Chargers or Patriots. All I'm saying here is that Kansas City has a chance ... a chance ... to keep its fans interested into mid-October with this start. So the Chiefs get torched in the season opener. Then what? Then they have a run of four consecutive opponents with losing records, including two -- Atlanta and Oakland -- that didn't win more than four each last year. Of course, neither did the Chiefs, but if you're looking for an off-ramp to rebuilding, I suggest a schedule like this.

The Bad

Chicago

Sept. 7: at Indianapolis
Sept. 14: at Carolina
Sept. 21: Tampa Bay
Sept. 28: Philadelphia
Oct. 5: at Detroit

I look at the first month of Chicago's schedule and wonder where they find touchdowns. Face it, it's going to be tough as it is with Kyle Orton, Matt Forte and name your wide receiver. But look at the first four opponents: There's nothing worse there than a 16th-ranked defense, with Tampa Bay, Indianapolis and Philadelphia in the top 10. That's trouble. So they catch a break with the Lions, ranked 32nd. The game is in Detroit. More trouble. The Bears have lost four of their past six there, with their two victories by a combined 11 points -- including one in OT.

Washington

Sept. 4: at N.Y. Giants
Sept. 14: New Orleans
Sept. 21: Arizona
Sept. 28: at Dallas
Oct. 5: at Philadelphia

If I'm Jim Zorn, this is what I don't like: My first three division games are on the road, including the season opener against the reigning Super Bowl champions. Getting Arizona in Washington is a bonus, largely because the Cardinals have lost 40 of their past 49 on the road, but it will be tough for Washington to keep up with New Orleans' offense. I can see three losses here, maybe four, and tell me how they keep the jackals away from Jason Campbell if that happens.

Dallas

Sept. 7: at Cleveland
Sept. 15: Philadelphia
Sept. 21: at Green Bay
Sept. 28: Washington
Oct. 5: Cincinnati

There isn't an opponent on here with fewer than seven victories, and there are three with at least nine. All I know about Cleveland is that it has won its past seven starts at home, so that makes the season opener dicey. Philadelphia? It won its past two in Dallas with inferior teams. Green Bay? Can't beat the Cowboys in Dallas, but this game isn't in Dallas. It's at Lambeau, where the Cowboys haven't won. Washington was a playoff team, but Dallas won 11 of its past 12 at home against the Redskins, while Cincinnati ... well, the Bengals are the Bengals. But I know a defensive coordinator who can't wait to return to Dallas. Good luck, Mike Zimmer.

Baltimore

Sept. 7: Cincinnati
Sept. 14: at Houston
Sept. 21: Cleveland
Sept. 29: at Pittsburgh
Oct. 5: Tennessee

Here's the problem: I count one opponent with a losing record, and that's Cincinnati, and I count one healthy Ravens quarterback. That's rookie Joe Flacco. Baltimore doesn't want to start Flacco immediately, but it has no choice. And while the Bengals look like they might be a soft touch, they've beaten the Ravens three of the past four times they played in Charm City. The good news: Cincinnati, Houston and Cleveland were in the bottom one-fourth of the league in defense. The bad: Flacco's still a rookie.

Cincinnati

Sept. 7: at Baltimore
Sept. 14: Tennessee
Sept. 21: at N.Y. Giants
Sept. 28: Cleveland
Oct. 5: at Dallas

Before we get started, there are a couple of things to remember: A) Chad Johnson is hurting, and B) Chris Henry doesn't return from a league suspension until the fifth game ... provided, of course, he stays out of trouble. Anyway, against that backdrop you throw in this schedule, with the Bengals opening in a stadium where they won three of their past four. That's the good. The bad is everything that follows, with Cincinnati facing three playoff teams and one club (Cleveland) that should've made it to January. What's worse, the Giants and Cowboys are the toughest people on this list, and where are those games? Uh-huh, not at Paul Brown Stadium.

The Murderous

St. Louis

Sept. 7: at Philadelphia
Sept. 14: N.Y. Giants
Sept. 21: at Seattle
Sept. 28: Buffalo
Oct. 12: at Washington

Maybe Scott Linehan should start contacting a Realtor now. This schedule isn't tough; it's lethal, with three playoff teams and one reigning Super Bowl champion awaiting the Rams. I like their chances against Buffalo, but that's no gimme. And that's it, folks. Philadelphia should beat them. Same goes for the Giants. Seattle is an impossible place to play for visiting teams. Washington is a possibility, but the Redskins were 5-3 at home. Anyway, this is a trap door waiting to be pulled, with a potential four losses awaiting St. Louis.

Houston

Sept. 7: at Pittsburgh
Sept. 14: Baltimore
Sept. 21: at Tennessee
Sept. 28: at Jacksonville
Oct. 5: Indianapolis

I count four playoff teams here. Worse, three of them are on the road. One of the drawbacks to playing in the AFC South is that you have to compete with Indianapolis and Jacksonville. Houston will have both of them in the first five weeks. Then there's Tennessee, a playoff team from 2007, and you can find the Titans here, too ... in Nashville, no less, All they've done is win their past six against Houston, scoring 26 or more points in all but one game. Houston did well to finish .500 a year ago. This schedule is one reason few think they can repeat that.