Hochuli is only the official face of unruly NFL problem

In other words, a player can be very happy for himself for a very short period of time, and if his teammates can get to him in time for a moment of choreography, good for them. But after five seconds, a whistle goes off, and it's back to the job. If it hoses a player now and then, well, they'll get used to it after the first time the other team starts its next drive in the red zone.

And therein lays the second problem. The rulebook is full of exceptions because the rules committee wants to find as many ways as possible for the punishment for an infraction to fit the crime. This is a ridiculous standard that no official could possibly meet, which is why NFL officiating is now so dodgy.

Here's an idea: Every once in a while, the punishment may not fit the crime, and that is simply too damned bad for the player or players in question. If a rule makes that happen too often, simplify the rule. For instance, 15 yards for any face mask is a good idea, because it stops being about intent or bad luck and is simply about "get your hands away from his face, Einstein." It's an easy standard to adjudicate, and there's no wiggle room for excuses like, "Yeah, but he threw his face into my hand."

This can be applied immediately to the many ways a ball can be fumbled. Like the tuck rule, which was a stupid idea that Walt Coleman actually adjudicated correctly in the infamous Raiders-Patriots game. Was it a fumble? Of course it was. But Coleman was given a bad rule thought up by coaches who want reality not to be reality, and told to enforce it.

So you take the rule and bring it down to its basic level. If you don't have the ball in your possession when the whistle blows for whatever reason, it's a fumble, it's live, and everyone is on their own. In every situation, period.

The operative philosophy here: Sometimes, fair has nothing to do with it. Hold on to the ball and we don't have a problem.

And finally, the number of officials is simply too few. The idea that old guys cannot run with young guys is clear, but the young guys are also the fastest people in football, so other young guys couldn't keep up either. Neither could full-time officials, for that matter. The biggest, fastest, strongest people are playing the game, so logic tells you that nobody else could keep up under any circumstances, right?

Right?

What you need is more officials -- if you are in fact worried that too many things are unseen. If you see that the problem is actually a bad rulebook, maybe seven officials allowed their own common sense, knowledge and the comfort of knowing that what they saw was what they saw and not three other things "defined by rule," the three creepiest words in the history of the sport. Bring back the days of Ben Dreith and the six best words in the history of the sport -- "He was givin' him the business."

Oh, and one other thing. Full and complete transparency for all of them. The NBA found out in the Tim Donaghy mess that it has a far greater structural problem with the trust of its officials, something that its long-held "We've got it under control, honest" standard simply doesn't cover any more.

Having Mike Pereira, the talking head of NFL officials, work the radio chat show lineup every Monday isn't the same as actual transparency, and actually makes most listeners drive their cars into ditches in exasperation. Every week, the grades should put out for everyone to see. The referees should be made available to the media after every game (most times it wouldn't be necessary or even desirable, given the basically bland and tendentious nature of officials, so this wouldn't be a dramatic shift in policy). Hide nothing, show everything. If you've done your jobs well, they'll do just fine under the light, and car insurance costs would go way down.

In the meantime, let's leave Ed, his brush and his can of Firehouse Red to finish his downgrading. That is, unless Mrs. Goodell needs the attic cleaned out.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.