Do you believe Roethlisberger is a new man? I do
They're watching. They're reading. And they're going to remember. Who am I talking about? I'm talking about you -- because you're watching. You're reading. And you're going to remember how the media treated Ben Roethlisberger in the 12 days between now and the Super Bowl.
The pressure is enormous, and I'm talking about the pressure on me and people like me -- people in the media, those who will frame the pregame discussion of this Super Bowl in general, and that Pittsburgh quarterback in particular.
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| Ben Roethlisberger deserves credit for changing his ways for the better. (AP) |
And I hate peer pressure.
Don't ever tell me what to think.
And don't tell me to hate Ben Roethlisberger, because I can't. Not this Ben Roethlisberger. I like this one, and if you didn't know about his past, you'd like him too. He doesn't act like a superstar jock, cooler and more important than you. That used to be him, yes, but not anymore. I've spent several Sundays in the Steelers' locker room this season, but I can't give you a ton of anecdotal evidence of Roethlisberger's regular-guy vibe. By definition a regular guy is unremarkable, and that's how he now acts. Unremarkably.
Once the cliché of the hard-partying jock -- Internet photos of Roethlisberger, drunk and flanked by women, are legion -- he reportedly got engaged recently.
Roethlisberger's teammates say he is no longer aloof with them, no longer carrying himself as the sun, around whom the franchise should revolve.
"He's one of the guys now," says receiver Hines Ward.
Around town, folks are noticing. Pittsburgh isn't Los Angeles, to name one star-struck city. Image isn't everything in Pittsburgh. Decency matters, and for months the city was fed up with Roethlisberger. He helped win two Super Bowls, but a large, loud portion of the fan base wanted him released after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell found Roethlisberger in violation of the league's personal conduct policy in April and suspended him for six games, later reduced to four.
That faction still exists, I'm sure, but it's smaller. Quieter. You don't win over Pittsburghers with phoniness. You win them over with sincerity, and Roethlisberger is doing it.
"I was surprised," Ray Skoff, 41, a Steelers season-ticket holder for two decades, told a Pittsburgh reporter last week. "Behavior and attitude-wise, I believe he's done a total 180, how he presents himself on and off the field. It seems totally different."
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Here's one anecdote. It's small, but small stuff is sincere. This was Sunday, after Pittsburgh had beaten the Jets in the AFC Championship Game, and Roethlisberger was walking from his locker to the shower. Halfway there he realized he was about to collide with a TV guy -- a cameraman, not an anchor. This TV guy wasn't a name. Wasn't a star. He was, in the grand scheme of things, nobody. He was certainly nobody to Roethlisberger, but Roethlisberger stopped and motioned for the man to walk first.
"Please," Roethlisberger said, gesturing with his hand.
That moment in time might not impress lots of you, but that's OK. Lots of you carry your own baggage about what Roethlisberger did, or didn't do, on March 5, 2010 in Milledgeville, Ga. And I say that with no disrespect to you. We all have baggage, and some of mine involves animal abuse. I own three dogs, love them more than I can say, and when Michael Vick was found guilty of killing dogs I hated him. Couldn't forgive him. My baggage wouldn't let me.
But then a small thing happened with Vick. A mutual acquaintance, a sportswriter at another website, was talking to Vick before last season. The sportswriter doesn't have children, but he and his wife offer dog-rescue services from their house. They take in abandoned or abused dogs, nurse them to health, prepare them to be adopted. Vick heard about it and offered a donation, but he wanted it kept private. This wasn't for show. This was personal.
That's small, but it's big. Vick and Roethlisberger have something in common, in that both quarterbacks are on their last legs with the public. Society is sick of Vick, and it's sick of Roethlisberger. Both know it, and both have responded well. Neither can undo the past, or even demonstrate that they're worthy of this second chance. But they're trying.
There are huge differences between Vick and Roethlisberger. One's crime was against animals. Another's was said to be against women. Vick was charged, tried and found guilty. Roethlisberger wasn't found guilty, or even charged. Does that prove he's innocent? No. Of course not. But it means that we don't know -- it means you don't know -- what happened between Roethlisberger and that woman in Nevada in 2008, or between Roethlisberger and that woman in Georgia in March.
No matter. Lots of people have decided in their heart that Roethlisberger is guilty, and there is no appealing that sentence. You should have seen my incoming Twitter feed Sunday night. Here are three sneering Tweets people sent me within five minutes of the final whistle, the first two from readers, the third from a writer:
9:52 p.m. The odds of a girl being raped in Pitt 2nite just went up.
9:55 p.m. Wow, emotional Ben, on his knees, thinking about all the girls in Dallas he's going to molest.
9:56 p.m. By the time Super Bowl XLV hype is done, and the Big Ben redemption stories have been told, we'll all be confusing him with Tim Tebow.
That's a sliver of what's out there. That's what people are thinking, and saying. And now they're reading, watching. They'll remember which of us were naughty to Roethlisberger, and which of us were nice.
What I'll tell you is this: I don't know what crimes Roethlisberger has committed or not committed against women, and I don't know what he's capable of doing. I'm not saying he's innocent. I'm saying I don't know.
But I do know what I've seen from Roethlisberger since he returned from his suspension. And it's been pretty damn impressive.
