Even if he's telling truth, something's weird with T.O. (as usual)

You know who's to blame for this entire Terrell Owens mess, right?

Donovan McNabb. It's a vast Eagles, green wing conspiracy.

Or maybe it's Bill Clinton's fault.

Terrell Owens had a very plausible story to tell at his Wednesday address. (AP)

Next thing, there will be claims from the Owens camp that Jeff Garcia hired secret agents to toss fistfuls of supplements at Owens from behind a grassy knoll.

The most amusing aspect of a bizarre day? It was watching Dallas coach Bill Parcells lie his ass off. He knows nothing, sees nothing, heard nothing, smelled nothing, tasted nothing ... he wouldn't know Owens if Owens stood on the star at midfield. Terrell who? Who's that?

"You're talking to the wrong guy," said Parcells when asked for details of the suicide, not a suicide, maybe a suicide attempt story. "I'm not the team physician. I'm just a coach."

I laughed so hard I tossed up a few pills myself. Parcells knows every detail about his team. If a doctor stuck a thermometer up each of the Cowboys players' rear ends, Parcells could guess the temperature.

And one piece of advice, Terrell. Your publicist? Sweet woman, fine human being. She still might need reassigning. Is there an opening in the limousine driver department of your empire?

Here we go again. It's another edition of As The T.O. Turns. A doozy of an episode, to be sure, but another chapter nonetheless. Because when Owens walks, the cameras are in tow, the circumstances odd. He takes a breath, and a dark cloud forms. For every great moment on the field, there are 10 dubious ones of craziness, instances of conduct unbecoming, big tent shenanigans.

It is possible Owens is telling the truth about his suicide, not a suicide, no way a suicide, just a little loopy, evening? Of course it is. Is it possible that, as the T.O.'s publicist stated, the police were unfairly going after Owens?

Of course it is. The Dallas police. Fine department. But they have not always been exactly Scotland Yard. Some of their dealings with a handful of past Cowboys players have been dubious at best.

Yet ... I am not ready to completely dismiss the portrait of a troubled Owens. I believe the police report that quotes someone as saying that Owens has told friends he was depressed. It is the one thing in all of this that actually makes some sense.

Again, police officers and their reports are not always totally accurate. A police report about Rodney King stated something dramatically different from what a videotape later showed.