Sweater Showdown: Rating the NHL's new threads

Let's start with a short story.

A young boy living in a remote town in Quebec plays hockey everyday on the schoolyard pond. Every day the boy laces up his skates, picks up his hockey stick, puts on his gloves and dons his hockey sweater. It's a Maurice Richard sweater, which is the baseball equivalent of putting on a Ted Williams jersey.

Each day it's the same routine. Skates, stick, gloves, Maurice Richard sweater. Skates, stick, gloves, Maurice Richard sweater. Skates, stick, gloves, Maurice Richard sweater. Over and over.

Well, one day his mother says enough is enough. The sweater, ragged like Pigpen's blanket, has seen better days. She gets rid of it. Rather, she replaces the young boy's sweater. She replaces it with a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater.

The boy wouldn't know the Hindenburg from Limburger, but his reaction can only be summed up with the phrase, "Oh, the humanity!"

Appalled by his mom's lack of taste -- this is Les Habitants territory! -- the boy refuses to don the sweater. His mom, appalled by the idea that one sweater is different than other, makes him wear it.

So he goes off to the pond to meet his fellow schoolyard hockey players. They're all wearing their red, white and blue Maurice Richard sweaters. The boy comes over in his bright blue Maple Leafs sweater.

The boy is outcast to the bench as his former buds shun him. Ashamed with his new threads, the boy blows up like Tie Domi, breaking his stick, huffing and puffing in disgust and is eventually reprimanded by a teacher.

Hockey fans are quite serious when it comes to their jerseys. (Getty Images)

Alone, serving out his punishment, he's left only to fantasize about destroying his Maple Leafs sweater and how if only he could go back and change into his Maurice Richard sweater.

Such are things with hockey sweaters. Football and basketball jerseys may dominate today's marketplace, while a top-selling hockey jersey (Peter Forsberg) sees sales of around 4,000. To put that in perspective, some 600,000 LeBron jerseys were sold just six months after the then high schooler was drafted.

Yes, the NHL doesn't have the tentacles or market share of the other big American sports, so its numbers will never reach a parallel scope. But there's something more to hockey garb. Just like the little boy in Roch Carrier's The Hockey Sweater, people don't just pull the old switcheroo on their hockey threads. There's something that comes with wearing a time-tested Red Wings or Bruins jersey.

And that's why, when the NHL announced a complete jersey revamp, traditionalists threw their arms up in disgust. Here's the deal. The new sweaters are tighter, absorb less water and are designed by Reebok to facilitate a faster, more streamlined game. The new jerseys weigh 14 percent less than the old ones, feature new "bead technology" that repels upwards of 76 percent of water and have 9 percent less wind drag. Paired with the new hockey pants, they'll feature 61 percent more hip protection and should last twice as long.

That's dandy and all, but what about the look? As many hockey-sweater aficionados feared: Did they mess with the classics? Not really. Teams had the ability to design their own jerseys this past summer and the oldies are still golden and some of the new ones, well, they're hit or miss.

That's where you come in. We keep it democratic over here, which is why we want you to determine the best hockey sweater.

For the bracket to work properly -- and like the Stanley Cup playoffs -- 16 jerseys made the cut. The Original Six teams received automatic bids. The remaining 10 slots went to teams that saw the most drastic changes to their sweaters, whether it be color changes, logos or a significant change in design. To the fans of teams whose jerseys aren't represented: don't be offended; blame your team for not changing things up. (Or maybe you'll just be thankful your jersey didn't get messed up.)

We've thrown in a little analysis below, but in the end, it's your vote that will make the difference.

Meet the Critics:

The guy: EKay, SPiN Columinst
Fashion acumen: "No white shoes after Labor Day. Serial Mom taught me that."

The chick: Coop, roommate/girlfriend
Fashion acumen: "America's Next Top Model? Now that's good watchin'!"

The collector: EBrown, NHL Producer
Fashion acumen: "Which of my 40 jerseys do I wear today?"