Kay's Korner: Choosing a list of chosen people

It's some 4,500 years in the making, but it's finally time to put together The Chosen Team.

Ever since exiting Pharaoh's Egypt, the Triple-A of biblical locales, Jews have been quietly assembling a historical lineup that could challenge any religion's. As a Jewish sports fan growing up, this is monumental, or rather biblical.

It all started with Moses and the Exodus ... (Image/Photos.com)

Like most American Jewish sports fans, I'm accustomed to thinking in terms of the Law of Sanford Braun. By the age of five, every Jewish boy is well equipped with the one answer that can curb any argument with the root "there are no good Jewish athletes." Oh yeah, we reply, using a piece of rote information on par with fire equals hot, "Ever heard of Sandy Koufax?" End of conversation. No, it really was. That's because there was nobody else for a semi well-informed five-year-old to really name.

But times, they are a changing, and it only took some 4,500 renditions of the Passover story to get us here. It starts with a trip into the history books and finding a Jew that had the nickname Hammerin' (Hank Greenberg). Then it's on to learning about who invented the Ted Williams shift (Lou Boudreau) or about Jesse "Tiny" Baker, who played in one game and had the pleasure of feeling Ty Cobb's spikes grate along his chin. We've had MVPs (Al Rosen), pitchers with no-hitters not named Sandy (Ken Holtzman) and guys with cool '50s style nicknames like Izzy (Goldstein), Itzy (Feinberg), Whitey (Federoff) and Subway Sam (Nahem).

You fast-forward and do a little homework only to be disappointed to find Rod Carew isn't a Jew, but he did marry one. The World Series MVP the year you were born was a Jewish catcher named (Steve) Yeager and the 25-game winner and Cy Young honoree for your favorite team (Baltimore) is a Jew named Steve (Stone).

Fast-forward again and you find out a handful of players today, some even worthy of spots on your Fantasy team, are filling up on matzah ball soup and brisket this week, just like you. Shawn Green's bat might not be what it was a half dozen years ago when he was flirting with Canseco-ian numbers, but he's still starting on a loaded Mets squad.

End of discussion. (Getty Images)

Mike Lieberthal has knees that make Jake Taylor cringe, but his All-Star pedigree can't be ignored. Cubs GM Jim Hendry thought pitcher Jason Marquis was good enough to be worth $21 million over three years and Brad Ausmus is currently drawing up the blueprints for a new wing on his house to hold his rapidly growing collection of Gold Gloves.

And then there's Boston's Kevin Youkilis. I wanted to recite my Havdalah all over again after watching Dennis Leary extort the virtues of Judaism (motherly guilt, bad food) while talking up the Red Sox first baseman. He's the de facto torch bearer to Koufax after that episode.

So with Leary calling for an all-Jewish infield in Beantown and a nice stable of Jewish ballplayers to choose from, could it be? Do we have an all-historical team that could compete with anything gentiles could throw our way? Maybe it's the Manischewitz talking, but my shekels say yes.

We might be some 4,500 years since the time of Pharaoh and Moses, but it's time to let my people go ... play ball! Whether this team can hold its own is up for debate, but what isn't, is that they're all a bunch of mensches with a boatload of chutzpah.

The Chosen Team

Hank Greenberg, first base: There are simply too many eye-popping stats to tell. But here's a few: 58 home runs in 1938, 183 RBI in '37, two MVP awards, a .313 career batting average and a World Series ring. Throw in the fact he made getting into Cooperstown appear easier than getting into your local 1950s country club and I can't help but ask: Is Albert Pujols really the prototypical first baseman?

Buddy Myer, second base: Pop quiz, hotshot: Name me a player who drove in 100 runs without hitting more than five home runs in a season and I'll buy you a He'brew. Buddy Myer's 1935 season is worth a few good bar bets, so enjoy. He also was a lifetime .303 hitter and collected more than 2,000 hits.

Lou Boudreau, shortstop: When you beat out Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams for the 1948 American League MVP award, you're probably good enough to start on The Chosen Team. Boudreau was also an eight-time All-Star and the last manager to lead the Indians to the World Series. So without Boudreau we'd never have the movie Major League. That's not a world I'd want to live in.

Al Rosen, third base: A stockbroker and solid executive after his playing days, Rosen gets Micheal Ray Richardson's The Chosen Team stamp of approval. But get this, MRR, Rosen took home the AL MVP award in 1953 and had five Michael Jack Schmidt-type seasons at third base for the Indians in his short but prolific career.

Brad Ausmus, catcher: Since arriving in Houston, Ausmus has helped pitchers top 14 wins 13 times. There's a reason Roger Clemens loves pitching in Houston and it's because of Ausmus, who narrowly edges out Mike Lieberthal for the starting job. Those three Gold Gloves help the Bossmus's case, too.

Sid Gordon, right field: A two-time All-Star with a knack for clutch hitting, Gordon has plenty of power, but also hits for a nice .283 career average. Most importantly, he's an on-base percentage machine, which gets us in good with the Moneyball crowd.

Shawn Green, center field: An absolute statistical freak from '98 through 2002, Green literally took the torch from Koufax while playing with the Dodgers for five seasons. In his prime he had a rare combination of power and speed that earned him two All-Star trips. He's 14 home runs shy of passing Greenberg on the all-time Jewish home run list. With his 151 career steals, lifetime .282 average and Gold Glove, he's likely the most well-rounded Jewish ballplayer ever.

Gabe Kapler, Mike Epstein, left field (platoon): Righty Kapler never lived up to expectations, but adds a little speed (23 steals in '01) to a sluggish lineup. Lefty "SuperJew" Epstein adds some more pop (three 20-plus homer seasons) to an already potent lineup, but with an Adam Dunn-like .244 career lifetime batting average.

Kevin Youkilis, designated hitter: He's an on-base god and Dennis Leary loves him. What more is needed?

Sandy Koufax, starting pitcher: You know the Yom Kippur story. Here are the key stats: 131 wins during a six-year stretch and nearly 2,400 strikeouts over essentially 10 seasons.

Ken Holtzman, starting pitcher: Two no-hitters, one 20-win campaign, a key arm on the 1970s Oakland A's teams and a nice 3.49 lifetime ERA puts Holtzman nicely in the No. 2 spot of the rotation.

Steve Stone, starting pitcher: When your No. 3 guy has a Cy Young nod to his name you're in a good spot. Yes, that 1980 campaign that saw Stone win 25 games was a Luis Gonzalez 2001-type aberration, but we're not picky. Plus being Harry Caray's right-hand man for 15 seasons makes for some good storytelling during rainouts.

Jason Marquis, starting pitcher: He's our innings eater, and not a bad one at that. He's four games over .500 in a career that includes a 15-win season in 2004. Throw in his 69 career hits and two home runs and he's a force batting in the nine hole.

Barney Pelty, starting pitcher: I would hate myself in the morning for not having a guy they called "The Yiddish Curver" in my rotation. Plus he had a career 2.63 ERA, which is downright nasty.

Scott Schoeneweis, closer: Always a setup man, never a closer, Schowey's itching for the job and with no better options, I'm happy to oblige. Plus, with complete-game machines Koufax and Holtzman on board, we're not calling Showey's number too often.