The Yankees at Lincoln Financial finally bailed on producing SEC and ACC telecasts. From the moment Lincoln Financial bought Jefferson-Pilot you knew this was going to happen. All it took was one year of ineptitude. And by ineptitude I mean LF/JP's regular broadcasts of SEC games.
I can just picture current Lincoln Financial CEO Dennis R. Glass scrolling through the listing of the $251 billion in assets under management by the company, and pausing when he saw the listing for the SEC broadcasts and remembering what the worst single advertisement for his company looked like.
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| Goodbye Lincoln Financial/Jefferson Pilot Sports, hello Raycom Media, Inc.! (Provided to CBSSports.com) |
But now, like the Dave-headed stepchild of the sports broadcasting industry, Lincoln Financial/Jefferson Pilot Sports is changing hands once more -- to the tune of $583 million and to a new, and unsurprisingly Southern owner, Raycom Media, Inc.
Of course, this price includes three television stations in Charleston, S.C., Richmond, Va. and Charlotte, N.C., which goes a long way toward explaining how the LF/JP telecasts have a positive value. According to published reports, the LF sports syndication arm of the company generated $22 million in revenue last year. However, this revenue stream was hard to square with the approximately $4.38 billion in lost business equity via swearing, consternation and general disgust the telecasts produced among viewers.
This is believed to be the largest differential produced between revenue and lost goodwill since Volkswagen was affiliated with the Third Reich.
Upon last year's selling of the broadcast network we learned from LF/JP's marketing director that the sports crew was going to remain "in tact." By which the marketing director meant "intact." But so far there have been no expressions of consistency regarding the current sale. So SEC fans across the country can cross their fingers and pray that the three-headed Dave monster which has ruined many a fall mornings may have finally met its demise. Unfortunately we do not yet know this is the case. I understand everyone at Golden Flake potato chips is really nervous.
Fortunately, however, I've been able to get the 11-question Raycom test that will be given to all Lincoln Financial Sports/JP employees to determine whether they remain with the company. I'd like to publicly thank my source for the great personal risk he faced to smuggle out this questionnaire. Now, for the first time, we can all see what rigorous standards the LF/JP announcing team is held to. Take the test with me to determine if you have what it takes to call a fifth-tier SEC game:
1. It's third and 3, you should describe this play as:
A. Third and 3
B. Fourth and 3
C. Third and 13
D. Fifth and 15
2. The score is Florida 17, Ole Miss 0. The appropriate way to describe this score is:
A. "There's an upset in the making."
B. Showing Ed Orgeron on the sideline and saying, "Boy, Ed Orgeron looks mad."
C. Publicly announcing that you have the intelligence of a toothpick fish.
D. Showing Urban Meyer on the sideline and saying, "Boy, Urban Meyer looks happy."
3. No matter that that joke is not funny in the least, anytime your broadcast partner makes a joke you should:
