I am not an athlete. I have never worn a jock. If you asked me to summarize the highlights of my athletic career, the list would be short. In fourth grade Little League, I struck out the final batter with the bases loaded to win the league championship. In high school soccer I once scored a goal from the fullback position on a miraculous shot from midfield. During an intramural basketball game in law school, I hit six consecutive 3-point shots.
When I was 11, I asked my dad what he thought of my athletic abilities. Dad was brutally honest.
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| Carolina Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams trained at D1 Sports. (Getty Images) |
Since these accomplishments I have done nothing to further burnish my athletic credentials. Until now. That's because in January 2008, I decided to live and train alongside 19 elite college athletes for the NFL combine.
At some point, every single person who's reading this column has wondered how they'd do at the NFL combine. Even the women. This spring, yours truly, possessed of the most average athleticism in the known universe, will be spending all day six days a week training alongside 19 of the best college athletes in America. From the locker room to the meal table, we'll all be training for the combine. One rep on the field will feature a first-team All-American, the next a 28-year-old columnist who has never worn a football helmet or pads in his life. They'll be preparing to be professional athletes in America's most popular sports league, and I'll be attempting to survive the training.
I'll be training here in Nashville at D1 Sports. D1 is owned by Will Bartholomew, a former fullback for the University of Tennessee, and Peyton Manning has a partial ownership interest. D1's slogan is "Iron Sharpens Iron, which when modified to reflect my own training regimen transforms into "Fat Jiggles Often."
And all my fat is going to be fully immersed into training for the NFL combine at D1's impressive training facility in the suburbs of Nashville. Each year they are one of the preeminent training grounds for future NFL players in America. In 2006, they trained two NFL first-rounders, Bobby Carpenter of the Dallas Cowboys and DeAngelo Williams of the Carolina Panthers. Now, they'll have me. A late-round selection (at best) for two-hand touch games.
Each year the NFL Draft becomes more popular with football fans. We dive into one mock draft after another. Obsess on message boards over who our team should select. Frantically e-mail our friends each time a player we think is a steal is rising or falling on an expert's draft board. Get into yelling matches with our friends out at the bar because in their minds, every single football fan has a perfect ability to assess football talent and the needs of their particular teams.
But what's the single most important factor that allows these thousands of mock drafts to exist? The NFL combine -- the event that provides the numbers that each of these potential draftees put up on various drills, allowing one player to be compared with all the others seeking to join the NFL. And what do we actually know about how these athletes train for the drills they'll be forced to perform at the NFL combine? Virtually nothing. That's about to change. At least I hope it is. And I'll be your guide. By the time the NFL combine rolls around, I hope we're all able to watch it with a renewed interested buoyed by a much more detailed knowledge. And that all my ligaments still work.
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| Chicago Bears rookie Greg Olsen was one of the top NFL combine prospects. (Getty Images) |
Most of my combine interest was focused on two drills: the 40-yard dash and the bench press repetition of 225 pounds. As to the former, I was convinced I could break a 5.0 on the forty. In fact, every single man reading this column right now either believes that he could currently run a 40 in less than five seconds or once was able to run a 40 in less than five seconds. Guaranteed. Right now several of you are sitting in front of your computer screen nodding your head thinking, "No doubt. I can definitely do that." Most of you are lying to yourself. I'll write about why next week.
My other obsession was bench-pressing 225 pounds. For most regular athletes, being able to put two 45 pound plates on each side of the bar is quite an accomplishment. Four total plates bumps you from the ranks of the scrawny and, for just a moment, makes you look like you're actually strong. There's just something about being able to add that second plate to each side. When I finally put up 225 during college, I celebrated by drinking for a week. Then I stopped trying to lift any higher weight until after I graduated from law school. Once I got two plates -- could successfully complete one rep at the 225 combine weight -- there was nothing else I desired on the bench press. If ever my name was called and I climbed onto the bench at the combine, I could bang out one rep and retire happy.
But those are only two of the combine drills college athletes train for. I'll also be preparing for the:
• Vertical jump
• Broad jump
• 20-yard shuttle
• Three cone drill
• 60-yard shuttle
And, everyone's favorite test, the Wonderlic. Keep on coming back each week. Provided my legs continue to work, we're in for a fun spring.
