My favorite irony of law school is that it lasts three years and when you're done you pay a company another couple of thousand dollars to help you pass the bar exam. Why this course of instruction isn't included in actual law schooling has always baffled me. It's not like you don't have the time. And everyone has to take the Multi-State Bar Exam (MBE) no matter what jurisdiction you're choosing. I might be an extreme example, but I didn't even buy books my last year of law school. I spent my loan money on more important things like liquor and beer. The rest I just wasted.
Judging by the e-mails to ClayNation the overlap between lawyers, aspiring lawyers, and sports fans is substantial. Not a week passes that I don't get e-mails from readers applying to law school and wanting to know what advice, if any, I'd give to them when it comes time to select a school. Aside from the illegitimacy of taking career advice from someone who once ate pudding for fifty days in a row to protest the lack of availability of NFL Sunday Ticket, if enough readers ask I'll do my best to provide guidance. And by guidance I mean a roadmap to being disbarred.
So without further ado, here's ClayNation advice on how to pick a law school.
1. Visit the school when there's good weather, if at least half of the guys aren't wearing shorts, flip-flops, and t-shirts, then you don't want to go there. Law school should be fun because being a lawyer isn't fun. If people at the law school are already dressing like they're practicing law (or the law school has some sort of stuffy motto like, "We take the law seriously in the classroom too") then you'll be miserable for three years. Trust me.
2. Don't be completely seduced by law school rankings. For instance, Cornell is a top-ranked law school. But it's also filled with people who didn't want to go to Cornell but went there anyway because they didn't get in anywhere else as highly ranked and their Long Island parents wanted to brag about their spoiled children going to an Ivy League law school. Choose wisely.
3. Determine if students play intramural sports. Drinking games count. Some law schools have such an intense vibe that no one will take the time to play in any leagues. Or, worse, the team gets signed up for but everyone becomes too busy to actually play. This is a glaring sign that you've chosen the wrong school.
4. Go sit in the law school library for a half-hour. Pretend to read a newspaper and check to see how often the students smile or laugh when interacting with each other. If no one ever smiles or laughs it's a horrible sign.
5. Think about the size of the law school. My Vandy class had 184 people. That's like a high school. You knew everyone. Some people loved this, others wished the school was bigger because once they got drunk, made out with a midget missing an arm, and later were called a midget lover by the entire class. At a larger law school this probably would have been less likely.
6. Can you go to a rival school, a university whose sports teams you detest, for law school? Yes, is the answer. We've spent a lot of time analyzing fandom from all sorts of angles but when it comes to law school, no matter where you go, there are going to be fans of all persuasions. Now if it comes down to your hated rival or a law school of equal stature that you don't hate and you still can't make a decision? Well then, by all means, you have to go to the school that you don't hate.
7. When you visit consider the attractiveness of the undergraduate population. One of my good friends went to college in the northeast. He knew nothing about Nashville or Vanderbilt. But he went to a law school fair and the Vanderbilt counselor gave him the usual selling points for a school like Vandy. My friend was unmoved. Then at the end, the guy said, sort of under his breath, "Plus, the undergrad girls are unbelievably hot." Sold. Remember, you don't want to waste your love in the law line at the bar on mediocre girls with bingo wings.
8. Assuming the law school is above 80 percent, comparing bar passage rates tells you nothing about the quality of a law school. Don't be moved by the trumpeting of these stats. By the time you're studying for the bar exam you realize that most intelligent people could spend three months studying the Barbri course outlines, memorizing the absurd MBE fact patterns, and pass the bar exam. But by that time you've spent three years learning how to be a lawyer. Congratulations. Once you've practiced law for a couple of years you wouldn't be able to pass the bar exam. It's a great system.
9. The better the school you attend the more it costs but the less hard you have to work while you're there. There are exceptions (for instance those lucky bastards who get in-state tuition at Virginia or the University of Michigan) but this is generally the case. The better the school the more lenient the grading curve. Consider this a good trade. And if you can go to Yale or Stanford where law school is graded pass/fail? My god, mortgage your soul. Go.
10. If you destroy the LSAT and have a good GPA you may have a decision to make regarding whether to take a scholarship to a lesser school or pay more to go to a more selective school. It's hard to give advice in this situation because no matter what you think now, you have no real idea whether you'll actually like practicing law. I'm inclined to say take out the loans and go to the best school. Not because the quality of the education is different but because of how smart the kids you'll be in school with will be. No matter what you're going to learn more from your classmates than from your teachers. But if you take the scholarship then you give yourself more financial flexibility in terms of being able to take a lower-paying job at graduation. This is probably the single hardest decision to make regarding law school.
11. Conversely, on the loan front, one of my good friends spent most of third year, every time he drank, working up the courage to walk into the dean's office at Vanderbilt and propose that they allow him to walk away and pretend he never went to law school. He wouldn't owe them anything and he wouldn't ever practice law or claim that he graduated from Vanderbilt. There are a lot of practicing attorneys reading this right now and thinking: Where can I sign up for that deal? Lots of them might be my classmates. Owing 150k at graduation can do this to you.
12. For the record there is no law school that you can't afford to attend. No matter how poor you are they'll give you the loan money and enough over and above that amount to live on because lawyers, for better or worse, generally pay back their loans. So if anyone isn't planning on law school because of the cost issue, that's not a legitimate concern. Nor is assuming that everyone is rich in law school. That's a complete fallacy. Most of my friends still have negative net-worths.
13. If you go to a lesser-tier school you'll have to work harder to get looked at by big firms. And if you go really far down the law school pecking order you may not be able to get a job out of state. That can be fine, most big firm jobs pay well but suck the life out of you with every passing hour. But if you're not able to compete for what you perceive to be the best jobs it can be really frustrating. Even worse it can also poison the law school environment to have everyone gunning for one of five big firm jobs. Be forewarned if you go this route that the law school environment might very well be miserable.
14. Don't go to the Midwest for law school. Pick any other region. Unless you're absolutely certain you want to practice in Chicago. Yeah, yeah, Chicago's awesome but it's also the de facto capital of about eight states. If you really want to end up in Chicago you can get there from lots of places outside the Midwest.
15. Where should I go to make the most money? If money is your ultimate goal you shouldn't be a lawyer. There are thousands of ways you can make much more money. Plaintiff's lawyers notwithstanding, as a lawyer you're ultimately hamstrung by how many billable hours you can crank out. And every hour you bill is one less hour you get to have a life. Be careful chasing those big firm golden handcuffs, be careful.
16. Keep in mind that the law is completely unbalanced when it comes to career search. The most competitive jobs in the legal profession are either the highest-paying or the lowest paying. The only thing more miserable than practicing law is trying to get a job practicing law. Don't expect that your first law job is going to last. I've been graduated from law school for less than four years and 75 percent of my classmates are already working at different jobs than the ones they started. That's why getting hung up on the first job you have is really a waste of time.
17. Be open to law school rejection because it actually makes your decision process easier. Despite the cottage industry predicated on ensuring that you find your one true law-school love, you're probably going to be fine no matter where you end up. My top two choices were Stanford and Virginia. Both rejected me. But Vandy was perfect. And if you're miserable keep in mind that after six months of practicing there's a 100 percent chance you'd rather be a law student again. Law school is one of the few places on earth where students compete to one day be able to go back to law school. If you doubt this pick up the resumes of your favorite professors who are under 45. Look at how few years they actually spent practicing law. Yep, in the circle of law-school life, as soon as you leave, you start working on finding a way to get back.
