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If you had told me one year ago today that the Celtics would be playing in the 2008 NBA Finals, I would have feared for the safety of the rest of the Eastern Conference.
The 2006-07 Celtics won just 24 games. They were awful. Then adding insult to crappy basketball, they flunked the draft lottery, leaving them without a chance to draft Greg Oden, Kevin Durant or even Al Horford. It looked like Paul Pierce would be traded. It looked like winning was years and years away.
We all know what happened next. First came one blockbuster trade. Then another. Then a few veterans started filling out the roster. Next thing you know, basketball mattered in Boston again.
A Lakers trip to the Finals was just as improbable. Kobe wanted out, Bynum was years away, and Kwame Brown was still on the roster. In stepped the Memphis Grizzlies, and it's a Celtics-Lakers spring once again.
While the NBA is psyched about this classic matchup, the real winners here are lifelong Celtics and Lakers fans. For the first time in 21 years, the rivalry we grew up with is finally back. And unlike a new Indiana Jones movie, we actually wanted this.
So to celebrate, I decided to watch Game 1 with a Lakers fan. Well, virtually anyway. What follows are highlights of an IM chat with my friend Eric, who grew up in Los Angeles loving the Showtime Lakers. Here's what we had to say about the dramatic events of Thursday night's game:
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| Especially during the NBA Finals, Boston fans would do anything to themselves to show team pride. (Getty Images) |
Pregame
(James Taylor comes out to sing the national anthem)
Eric: Ooo......James Taylor!
Ben: Hell, yeah. I think Lamar Odom is a huge fan.
Eric: If only he was wearing throwback short-shorts.
Ben: And had his throwback heroin habit.
Eric: Mbenga!
Ben: Should I be afraid of him? Or just worried I'll spell his name wrong? Anyway, got any predictions.
Eric: Lakers split in Boston. Win in 6.
Ben: I agree on the split, but I think if it makes it back to Boston, the Celtics will win.
First quarter
(Paul Pierce and Ray Allen miss consecutive 3-pointers.)
Ben: Everyone looks really nervous.
Eric: Not V-Rad. He's got that stoner, don't care one way or the other thing going.
Ben: Never Nervousich Radmanovich?
Eric: Sure. What do you call that thing on Perkins' chin? A lady goatee?
(Kevin Garnett beats Pau Gasol to the basket.)
Eric: OK, that was nice by Garnett.
Ben: Garnett has a tendency to do nice things. I've enjoyed watching all of them.
Eric: If Pau can get Garnett in foul trouble I will be very excited.
Ben: I think Pau is in trouble with that matchup. Garnett will eat him for breakfast.
Eric: Dunno. Pau kinda sorta held his own against Timmy. Apparently a "long arms" thing.
Ben: Long arms? He's 7-feet tall. If he didn't have long arms, he'd look like a dinosaur.
Eric: He has particularly long arms. Btw, you think he gets pressure (like from his mom) to clean up his scruff for the finals?
Ben: No, I bet she's happy with it. Spanish ladies love facial hair, or so I've read.
(Odom misses a jumper.)
Eric: Ugh, I very much hope Odom doesn't end up relying on his outside shot.
Ben: How weird is it to see Celtics and Lakers uniforms in June again. And not just at a Jay-Z concert?
Eric: Ohhh! Cross team ass-pat! Odom to Pierce. Nice!
(Rondo fakes a pass, then misses a shot.)
Ben: Rondo is the king of the fakeout pass/missed shot combo.
Eric: Yeah that was impressive.
Ben: 50% of the time it works every time.
(Garnett scores. He has eight of the Celtics' 14 points.)
Ben: At least Garnett came to play.
(On the other end, Jordan Farmar hits a shot.)
Eric: Two points for the Jews!
Ben: I think Rondo got fondled by The Machine on that play.
(The quarter closes with the Celtics leading 23-21.)
Ben: Garnett looks super happy in slow motion.
Eric: "Expect Great." That's the new WNBA slogan?
Ben: Yeah, I think "Expect Not So Much" was taken.
Eric: My English teacher wouldn't dig that.
Eric: Um, are you also seeing a Knicks ad right now?
Ben: Oh yeah!
Eric: "Reserve your tickets now?" Yeah, I'll get right on that. Ben: D'Antoni makes it very enticing, "Put on your seatbelt, and let's go for it!"
Second quarter
Eric: Does Turiaf (who I love, btw) have his hair in a bun?
Ben: I was about to ask you. Is he wearing a Fez? Is that allowed? Is he a Shriner?
Eric: Not sure. But look closely, I'm pretty sure Luke Walton wears eyeliner.
(Cassell hits a jumper to make it 29-24 Celtics.)
Ben: Wow, those are the first two shots Cassell's made with the Celtics I think.
Eric: What's next? Is Chris Mihm gonna pull a double-double? And wasn't Cassell good last year? Even early this year? How'd he turn into a bench warmer?
Ben: I think he's so old he's only effective in warm weather.
Eric: It's an alien V thing.
Ben: Only with worse special effects.
(Kobe hits a pair of free throws to make it 29-26 Celtics.)
Ben: So are you happy they didn't trade Kobe?
Eric: If only we had Kirk Hinrich instead. And Ben Gordon!
Ben: Kirk Hinrich was on my Fantasy team this year. In a related story, Kirk Hinrich owes me $225.
Eric: Wow, Danny Ainge is looking good! His chin went awol.
Ben: That was Ainge? I thought it was Dan Aykroyd.
Eric: Nice close-up on Turiaf's hair bon-bon.
Ben: I think his hair is "expecting great."
(Garnett sinks a jumper over Gasol. 40-35 Celtics.)
Eric: Wow, Garnett is sick.
Ben: That's eight points in a row. Thanks, Kevin McHale!
(Gasol dunks a pass from Kobe, giving the Lakers the lead.)
Ben: Nice play by Pau. Kwame would have missed that I bet.
Eric: Um, yeah. Kwame missed a lot. Honestly, I always felt bad for that guy. It's not his fault he had hands of stone. But I'm very glad he was replaced by El Scruffito. El Scrufficismo?
Ben: Scruffaluffagus?
Eric: Scruffaluffagus! Love it!
(Rondo hits a quick shot to give the Celtics a 42-41 lead.)
Eric: Rondo is money.
Ben: Rondo is totally money. Just sometimes he spends it too fast. Hey, why does Magic get to do the halftime show? Why not have Phil Jackson and Jerry West up there too.
Eric: Are you suggesting Magic is less than ... a god?
Ben: I just think he's not the most fair and balanced guy to have there.
Eric:I hate to admit this but when he's in the studio, I kinda think he's the weak link. I suspect Kenny and Charles think that too but have too much respect to ever let on to it.
(Paul Pierce picks up his third foul, then Derek Fisher makes it 51-46 Lakers.) Ben: Ugh. I liked this better when Pierce was playing. Eric: Pierce has three points. Ben: Foul trouble. And at least other dudes are open when he's in.
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| After failing in multiple attempts to rip his towel, an aneurysm in his brain took John's life. (Getty Images) |
Third quarter
(Paul Pierce starts the second half with six quick points.)
Eric: Um, that was sick. 3-pt bank shot and the foul.
Ben: Six points, just like that
Eric: I was just gonna say that I bet Pierce goes off, but I was too busy eating an ice cream bar. Damn.
Ben: You snack, you lose. Wow, eight points in 1:20 for Pierce. He could score 90+ in the quarter!
(Radmanovich hits a 3.)
Eric: Whoa, V-Rad spazzing!
Ben: Remember that episode of Six Feet Under where he tried to cut off his sister's tattoo?
(Kobe slashes to give the Lakers a 62-58 lead.)
Ben: Who's this No. 24? He's good!
Eric: Love that matchup. Pierce-Kobe.
Ben: For the Lakers?
Eric: No. As a lover of b-ball.
Ben: Word
(Gasol picks up a block.)
Eric: There are those long arms again! Oh yeah!
Ben: Totally. He's mad long
Eric: Scruffaluffagus!
(Pierce gets tangled with Kendrick Perkins ... and gets carried off the court.)
Eric: Eh not what you want to see as a Celtics fan, I'd imagine.
Ben: No, that's not good.
Eric: Did I say Lakers in six? I meant ...
Ben: Lakers in 2.5 quarters.
Eric: On the other hand, if he gets up, could be one of those pumping up moments.
Ben: WILLIS!
Eric: I'm always looking for a downside for the Lakers. It's my skill.
Ben: Don't be jinxing an injury. Phil Jackson wouldn't approve of that karma.
Eric: OK, I apologize.
(Pierce is shown in a wheelchair)
Eric: Yikes!!!
Ben: Unhappy.
Eric: Wow carried by his buddies, then a wheelchair.
Ben: Yeah, but maybe it's like a James Brown concert. He'll be back soon, and this time with a f@#$ing cape! (Now Kendrick Perkins limps off.)
Eric: Perkins to the locker room ...
Ben: Yeah, Fisher sat on him.
(Ray Allen beats Sasha Vujacic for two points.)
Eric: The Machine just got turned off.
Ben: The Machine needs new batteries, I think.
(Paul Pierce comes rushing out of the tunnel.)
Eric: Oh my god! It was a WWE stunt!
Ben: Whatever gets people watching these games. Honestly, after the Artest brawl and the ref scandal? Lakers-Celtics? I mean, this has to be scripted.
(Ray Allen tries a fancy pass to Pierce ... and fails.)
Ben: Allen just passed that ball to 1996.
(Same sequence, Allen puts it in, gets a foul and makes it 68-64 Celtics.)
Ben: I take that back.
(Kendrick Perkins returns to less of a fanfare than Pierce.)
Eric: Perkins has to be bummed about the lack of claps there.
Ben: He got some love -- but at the same time, he was responsible for Pierce getting hurt.
(Fisher throws an ally-oop that Bryant slams down emphatically to make it a one-point Celtics lead.)
Eric: Ohhhhh ... play of the game!
Ben: Yeah, that was OK. If you're into super exciting dunks and s#@t.
Eric: I frequently do the whole tomahawk lob dunk when I'm playing at the Y.
(Pierce hits a 3. 75-71 Celtics.)
Eric: Ouch, Paul whateverhisnameis is good.
Ben: Yeah, he's really effective when not in a wheelchair.
Eric: Maybe I should try getting stabbed 10 times.
(Celtics lead 77-73 after three.)
Eric: Wow. Wheelchairs, 4-pt plays, they know how to script it.
Ben: I think the NBA has the writing staff that used to work on Lost.
Eric: Yeah, in the fourth quarter, that black cloud of death is gonna appear and sink a 3.
Ben: The Smoke Monster, The Machine, The Truth...
Eric: Don't forget the Space Cadet.
Ben: Who's that?
Eric: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Radmanovic
Ben: That's not an actual nickname is it?
Eric: It's what Phil Jackson once called him, and it's sorta been picked up.
Ben: Wow, that's worse than Boobie.
Fourth quarter
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| If Pierce's return from injury last night reminded you of Willis Reed, you need mental help. (Getty Images) |
Eric: Ugh, turnover city.
Ben: Farmar, Turiaf and Walton. Probably not a great idea to play them all together, huh?
Eric: It's actually pretty standard. Odom or Kobe anchors. But, um, it doesn't always work.
Ben: Clearly.
(A graphic tells us that the Celtics have outscored the Lakers 28-16 since Pierce's injury.)
Eric: I'm gonna try getting carried off the floor at of the office tomorrow. Then I'm gonna ass-slap my coworkers.
Ben: Expect great.
(Sam Cassell loses track of the shot clock, leading to a Lakers basket and a dwindling, four-point Celtics lead.)
Eric: Cassell coming through ... for the Lakers.
Ben: I just got two texts from Celtics fans saying the same thing. Only with many more unprintable words.
(The Celtics take a 90-82 lead with 3:30 to play. Eric goes quiet.)
Ben: You stop watching?
Eric: Yeah, the closing minutes of NBA Finals games always bore me. This is ugly. I hate when Kobe forces it like that.
Ben: That's what she said.
(Ray Allen misses a free throw. 91-85 Celtics.)
Eric: Thanks Ray. Love the missed freebie.
Ben: He's just toying with you.
(Vujacic misses a 3.)
Ben: The Machine appears to be malfunctioning.
Eric: I fear Kobe is about to institute his no-passing-with-two-minutes-left plan.
Ben: And so he should.
(Garnett slams home a missed shot over Gasol. The crowd goes bonkers as the Celtics take a 94-86 lead.)
Eric: Um, ouch.
Ben: G-slam! How do you say posterized in Spanish?
Eric: Fredric, I think.
(With 16.6 seconds, the Celtics lead 98-88.)
Eric: And with that, the refrigerator is closed.
Ben: So that's that?
Eric: I believe so.
Ben: Alright. I "expect great" sleep. You?
Eric: No. I'll be thinking of all I could have done differently to change the course of the game.
Ben: I've learned over the years that there's nothing I can do. It's them, not me. I can't make them win. But they can help me sleep better.
Eric: Alrighty. I'm gonna go cry in bed now
Ben: Cool. Try not to dream of KG dunking on your head.
