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A preview of the American Football Conference, streamlined into 17 syllables per team. No room for clichés. No former coaches. No pickup truck sponsorships.
Just sage football prognostication crammed into beautiful Japanese verse.
The way it ought to be.
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East
New England Patriots (14-2)
Perfection destroyed.
On Tyree's sticky helmet.
With Brady they win.
Buffalo Bills (8-8)
Games in Toronto.
Not north in the standings, though.
Still two years away.
New York Jets (6-10)
Twenty eight picks.
That was Brett Favre in '05.
This will not end well.
Miami Dolphins (4-12)
Savior in Parcells?
There's no where to go but up.
This year -- a little.
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North
Cleveland Browns (9-7)
Needed one more win.
This year Anderson gets it.
Defense anyone?
Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8)
Shaky O-Line.
At least Ben wears a helmet.
Killer schedule wins.
Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
Skins: Two number ones?
Bengals: "Ocho Cinco stays!"
It smells like regret.
Baltimore Ravens (5-11)
Boller or Flacco?
They think they have two options.
Really none at all.
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South
Jacksonville Jaguars (12-4)
Jags simple mission.
Hit Manning. Win division.
They have the guns now.
Indianapolis Colts (11-5)
Fragile veterans.
Combined with a tough schedule.
The wild card Colts?
Houston Texans (8-8)
Ready to make noise.
But won't win the big games yet.
Their day is coming.
Tennessee Titans (6-10) Young is a winner.
But his offense rarely scores?
Then who's the winner?
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West
San Diego Chargers (11-5)
Injuries are healed.
You ask me: What weaknesses?
Norv Turner is coach.
Oakland Raiders (8-8)
There's some talent here.
The owner and coach are fighting.
The same old Raiders.
Denver Broncos (7-9)
Hot seat for Coach Mike.
Bad defense makes it hotter.
Where did they improve?
Kansas City Chiefs (3-13)
No more Hard Knocks show.
One of the league's youngest teams.
Hard Knocks? Reality.
Next week: NFC preview and Super Bowl picks.
Sonny Amato is a SPiN Contributor and contributor to The Meaningful Collateral.
