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The worst part of an always glorious opening weekend of the NFL is listening to announcers and studio analysts preface every statement with "Well, it's only Week 1, but ... "
We know what week it is. We've been wading through Olympic volleyball and boring baseball to get to this day.
Let's jump to some conclusions!
In a world where people make their Super Bowl picks in July and we spend an agonizing month trying to wean meaningful information out of preseason games, why do we suddenly get hesitant when real football happens.
Let us jump ...
For instance, this will not be the year that die-hard Lions fans finally get their payoff. No amount of cheating will make Matt Cassel as productive as Tom Brady. Peyton Manning's "It Smells Like Someone Farted" Face is officially back. And the Bengals won't get through September without an entertaining sideline screaming match.
It's the NFL. We hype 'em up. We tear 'em down.
Let's take a look at the Week 1 buzzmeter (max. 100 points) on some of the league's most hyped teams.
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Cleveland Browns
Preseason Buzz: 65
Post Week 1: 30
No team kills a buzz quite like the Cleveland Browns. A year ago, the starting quarterback, Charlie Frye, was traded to the Seahawks after a bad start. Yes, they traded their Week 1 starter.
This year wasn't quite as bad -- only because it couldn't be.
The new and improved air attack featured five passes to tight end Kellen Winslow and no other receiver with more than a catch. Clunk.
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Dallas Cowboys
Preseason Buzz: 85
Post Week 1: 90
What do you get when you put PacMan Jones and Tank Johnson in the same locker room?
I dunno. It's not really a joke. However, if the chemistry works, the punchline will probably be delivered in Tampa Bay.
Terrell Owens still looks like he can make catches whenever he wants to. And contrary to a Clevelander's sign that "T.O. has B.O.," the Cowboys are smelling like roses.
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Green Bay Packers
Preseason Buzz: 80
Post Week 1: 85
Aaron Rodgers isn't the next Brett Favre, which should be just fine with Packers fans. Rodgers' 18-for-22 for 178 yards and no picks was the anti-Brett performance -- highly efficient and low risk.
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Indianapolis Colts
Preseason Buzz: 65
Post Week 1: 50
In a week that shouted, "Don't forget about the NFC!" the Bears were screaming loudest from brand-spanking Lucas Oil Stadium.
No more dome meant no piped in crowd noise in Indy. But, if the Colts offense (and offensive line) is that discombobulated all season, there will be little human noise coming from the seats, either.
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New York Jets
Preseason Buzz: 95
Post Week 1: 95
Following the Green Bay soap opera, even Favre's debut as a Jet was bound to be anti-climactic. Even with a lack of style points, the Jets will take a win over last year's one-win wonders.
If they're going to really get the buzz going, a win over the Brady-less Pats would do it.
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New England Patriots
Preseason Buzz: 90
Post Week 1: 30
Talk about a bubble burst. The lasting image of an intriguing Week 1 will be Brady hobbling down the stairs in Foxborough (Side note: Do they not have tunnel access to the locker room? Or at least someone to carry their all-world quarterback?)
Belichick is the master at adapting to what he has to work with. But one of those pieces has always been an amazingly efficient quarterback.
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New York Giants
Preseason Buzz: 80
Post Week 1: 90
There's a lot of talk about Eli Manning finding his swagger in Super Bowl XLII, but it's the defense that is keeping in step.
If a Super Bowl Champion can actually fly under the radar, this is one that is.
Week 9. Week 15. Giants vs. Cowboys, twice.
Now there's something worth buzzing about.
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San Diego Chargers
Preseason Buzz: 80
Post Week 1: 55
It's hard to get over the irony of firing Marty Schottenheimer for not living up to potential and then hiring Norv Turner.
The world's most-talented team still looks like it is allergic to having a lead. Amazingly the Panthers won despite their first offensive touchdown of the game coming AFTER the game clock had expired.
