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Since famous people often clamor to be my friend, I've always considered their appearances on Saturday Night Live to be the perfect initiation test to joining my posse. For instance, Alec Baldwin, John Goodman and Justin Timberlake are in, but, sadly enough, Paris Hilton needs to stay home.
Athletes, though, have the toughest assignments. Live TV can be unflattering on unpolished performers. And unlike on the field of play, when you're "Live from New York", there is no next week. You either score big or you bomb. My careful viewing of SNL over the years has led me to a list of three qualities of a good host:
1.) The ability to laugh at themselves and be the butt of jokes.
2.) Not being tentative. Being enthusiastic.
3.) Taking the time to prepare like an actor.
On Saturday, Michael Phelps put his name on the athlete host list. And while it did very well in the ratings, Phelps' performance wasn't all that memorable. At times he seemed tentative and nervous and he misread the cue cards at some key moments. In fact, after spending a month as arguably the world's biggest star, he was overshadowed by the inevitable (and funny) Tina Fey as Sarah Palin performance. Overall, Phelps' SNL performance was the opposite of his aquatic feats -- average and slow. He wasn't one of the best athletes on the show and not quite one of the worst.
Top three Athlete Hosts
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Manning's deadpan delivery was perfect throughout the show and he has no problem poking fun at his lack of big-game production. While few actors -- let alone athletes -- get a call back, they have to consider reinviting Peyton and his Mercedes 550 Meatloaf Edition.
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Throughout the show, Jordan always seemed to be right on the edge of blowing it by laughing. However, it somehow turned out to be charming -- like he was one of us and enjoyed being part of the show.
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From his skit about Derek Jeter's Taco Hole, an offseason venture, to dressing in drag as Candy Soriano (Alfonso's wife), Jeter committed to the role and won over New Yorkers once again.
Worst three Athlete Hosts
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This line might have been funny, except that it was delivered by one of the stiffest and most awkward hosts of all time. The entire show was a "how-to" on hosting suckitude: monotone reading, stiff acting and what seemed to be an unwillingness to take the brunt of a joke.
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It started with a lame monologue of Simpson dressed as a Conehead and a parody of his Hertz commercial running through the airport. Luckily, the episode is better known for one of the funniest bits of all time, John Belushi's "Samurai Night Fever."
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His best skit was one where he entered a triathalon only to discover that he couldn't bike or swim. The worst? A disturbingly unfunny skit where he dates Horatio Sanz in drag.
Sonny Amato is a SPiN columnist and contributor to The Meaningful Collateral.
