AC/DC: Perfect for all football occasions -- including SB XLIV?

Would you like to see AC/DC perform at halftime of the Super Bowl? Of course Not at all

AC/DC is as American as mom and apple pie. The band might hail from Australia, but it has long had a toehold in white, blue-collar America, mainly for its simple, bad-ass formula: all rock, no sissy ballads.

You want to stand up at a concert for two hours, screaming along to songs you know by heart? Then go to an AC/DC concert. I did last Thursday at Madison Square Garden, and I'm still deaf.

I know what you're thinking: Dude, you went deaf? You must be freaking old. But the fact is, I wasn't the oldest person at this concert -- not by a long shot (I'm 35). I'd say the crowd ranged in age from 7 to 70, and a good portion of them weren't white or blue collar. How do I know this? Well, some wore business suits. Besides, I know white people when I see them.

Now, Thursday night was the same night as the Pats-Jets game, and I would have wanted to watch it, but frankly, Favre, Mangini and Belichick were the furthest things from my mind as Angus Young's guitar assaulted my ear drums on Rock 'n' Roll Train and Back in Black. It wasn't until the sixth song of the set, Thunderstruck, that my mind shifted to football. This song, unfortunately, reminded me of last year's Patriots-Steelers game in Foxborough, when New England thrashed Pittsburgh 34-13, and the Patriots played Thunderstruck after every single, freaking, score.

"You been ... thun-der-struck!"

Freaking Patriots, you bastards. There I am enjoying the concert, a pint of Jack Daniels warming my belly ... and there's Randy Moss blowing past Anthony Smith for a long touchdown.

What makes most people afraid of AC/DC is what makes them perfect for the halftime show. (Getty Images)

At that point, the entire concert might have been ruined. Luckily, this is AC/DC, so the band was soon playing Hells Bells and Shoot to Thrill and You Shook Me All Night Long -- and every single one of those songs reminded me of a different memory from a different football game, some good, some bad. By the time they played T.N.T., I couldn't help but wonder, "Why hasn't AC/DC ever played the halftime show at the Super Bowl? These guys are basically the official band of the NFL."

(Death to you, Bon Jovi fans.)

Ever since Justin Timberlake went pop-goes-the-weasel on Janet Jackson in 2004, organizers of the Super Bowl halftime show have opted for safe, predictable rockers to headline the midgame festivities: Paul McCartney (2005), The Rolling Stones (2006), Prince (2007), Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers (2008) and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (in February).

I have no quarrel with these individual acts. They're all decent in their own way. Then again, they don't exactly make you want to grab your groin and run through a wall, now do they? I mean, when was the last time you heard Paul McCartney on the P.A. system at a football stadium? When Randy Moss catches a touchdown pass from Matt Cassel, you don't hear Ebony and Ivory, now do you? You probably hear Thunderstruck.

Now why is that? Well, beyond the obvious reason -- most people don't have a sense of humor about anything race-related -- AC/DC is simply kickass music, perfectly suited to the ups and downs of the NFL game.

Or, as it happens, the college game.

Saturday night I forced myself to watch my alma mater, Vanderbilt, attempt to win its sixth game of the season (for the fifth damn time). Since 1983, the Commodores had been 0-19 in games that would make them bowl-eligible, and last week we got denuded on national television by Florida, so when I say I had to force myself, I'm not lying.

As expected, Vanderbilt tried numerous times to give me a myocardial infarction.

We were ahead 14-0 early in the game, but then decided to dust off our field-goal kicker, who hadn't made a field goal since September, i.e. not last month, but the one before that.

Yeah, the kick got blocked by Kentucky (and my remote control took flight) and the Wildcats were now trailing by just 7, even though their entire team looked hung over and malnourished.

A wardrobe malfunction won't be a problem, but you never know what else you might see from AC/DC. (Getty Images)

This went on for the better part of the game -- Vanderbilt dominating all aspects but failing to deliver the death blow. Kentucky didn't get a first down until there were two minutes left in the first half, and they earned that on a fake punt, those slippery little monkeys. At halftime, the Wildcats trailed 24-7. And believe me when I say this: Not a single member of the Vanderbilt community thought that game was over.

And it wasn't.

Kentucky outscored Vandy 10-0 in the third quarter, including a touchdown after Vanderbilt's two-way star, D.J. Moore, fumbled a punt. At that point, I started taking cigarette breaks every three minutes. Yeah, I know, cigarettes will kill you, but so will Vanderbilt football.

Seriously, I couldn't believe this was happening. At the end of the third quarter, we only led by a touchdown. We were going to blow it -- again! No bowl for the 26th straight season. If I believed in God, I would have chosen that moment to say, "I no longer believe in God." I was cracking. I needed reassurance. A sign, something. And wouldn't you know, man, I got it. When the game went to commercial break, the ESPN2 producers played a comforting song. They played Ebony and Ivory.

Bah! Of course they didn't. They played AC/DC. They played You Shook Me All Night Long.

The rest, as they say, was history. Vanderbilt held on to win and is now bowl-eligible for the first time since 1982.

Dust off the IV bag, brother, and I'll bring the Jack.

Meanwhile, have they decided who's going to play the halftime show at the 2010 Super Bowl? If not, I nominate Angus and the boys.

Think about it: 140 million people singing along to Big Balls.

Yeah, your mom will love it.

Cam Martin also writes for BugsandCranks.com and Comcast SportsNet New England. E-mail him at cdavidmartin@yahoo.com.