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With 90 percent of the decade now in the books, I think it's time to unveil the NFL's All- Decade Team. If we waited until the end of next season, when the Aughts are technically over, we'd have to compete with dozens of other publications. But by going to press now, we can rightly claim those guys are copying us.
Besides, how much is really going to change in one year? Even if Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers win the Super Bowl this year and next, Pittsburgh will not be the team of the decade, and Roethlisberger won't be one of the two best quarterbacks since 2000. Meanwhile, Adrian Petersen could rush for 3,400 yards next season and he still won't make this team. And neither will Brandon Marshall or Drew Brees or Jared Allen or anyone currently playing for the Cardinals, Falcons, Bills, Panthers, Lions, Jaguars, Dolphins, Texans, Saints, Browns or Niners.
No, we've got standards here, and sustained excellence (for at least 90 percent of the Aughts) was needed to make this squad.
In compiling this team, I roughly followed the template set by the NFL's All-1990s team, with a few added wrinkles. Namely, I didn't spend a lot of time researching the best offensive linemen, since those guys typically get elected to Pro Bowls based solely on reputation and often earn repeated nods even after they're retired or dead. If you tell me Steve Hutchinson is overrated and doesn't deserve his place on this team, well, I ain't gonna argue with you, because I don't argue about offensive linemen and neither should you.
Team of the Decade: New England Patriots. As a Steelers fan, it pains me to admit that, but the Patriots won three Super Bowls since 2000 and completed the first 16-0 regular season in NFL history. To date, no other team has even won two titles this decade, and even if the Steelers were to win these last two, the Patriots were the most consistently great franchise. That said, couldn't Tom Brady have landed a better-looking supermodel? Great body, but the face of my uncle.
Coach of the Decade: Bill Belichick. If you haven't checked it out already, The Education of a Coach by the late David Halberstam is a must-read for NFL fans. It's a bit repetitive in parts, but it's still interesting to see how a coach can became a soulless, cheating, win-obsessed automaton. By the way, did you see Belichick hamming it up at the BCS Championship Game? I'm guessing Ecstasy, though perhaps ketamine.
Player of the Decade: Peyton Manning. And no, not because of his commercials, though they are consistently sublime. Manning has won one Super Bowl and three Most Valuable Player awards since 2000. Moreover, he didn't blow out his knee in Game 1 of the 2008 season and watch his backup (who hadn't started a game since high school) come in and lead his team to 11 wins.
Defensive Player of the Decade: Ray Lewis. It's not easy for a Steelers fan to give props to anyone on the Ravens, but I've always loved Ray-Ray's game, even though his pregame dance is obviously lifted from Napoleon Dynamite. Since 2000, Lewis has twice been named NFL Defensive Player of the Year, and he still moves pretty well for a fat guy.
All-Aught Decade Team
Offense
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| Peyton took the Player of the Decade award here, but Tom Brady could have an argument. (Getty Images) |
Wide receiver: Marvin Harrison
Wide receiver: Terrell Owens
Wide receiver: Chad Johnson
Tight end: Tony Gonzalez
Tight end: Antonio Gates
Tackle: Jonathan Ogden
Tackle: Walter Jones
Tackle: Orlando Pace
Tackle: Willie Anderson
Guard: Alan Faneca
Guard: Steve Hutchinson
Guard: Will Shields
Guard: Larry Allen
Center: Kevin Mawae
Center: Tom Nalen
Quarterback: Peyton Manning
Quarterback: Tom Brady
Running Back: LaDainian Tomlinson
Running Back: Priest Holmes
Running Back: Clinton Portis
Running Back: Shaun Alexander
Comments: I know Edgerrin James has 12,121 career rushing yards, which is 11th all time, while Priest Holmes only had three great years. But Holmes was a three-time All-Pro after 2000, while Edge's lone All-Pro season was in 1999, his rookie year. Besides, how cool of a name is Priest Holmes?
By the way, aren't we looking forward to the Hall of Fame votes for Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson? Three self-absorbed yahoos and one guy with a taste for antique guns? I wish all four were retired already.
For his part, Larry Allen is the only holdover from the NFL's All-1990s team. I thought he retired well before 2007. Turns out he was simply playing in San Francisco.
Defense
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| There's hardly a doubt that someone on the Ravens defense was the best in the decade. But is it Lewis or Reed? (Getty Images) |
End: Michael Strahan
End: Richard Seymour
End: Dwight Freeney
Tackle: Casey Hampton
Tackle: Warren Sapp
Tackle: La'Roi Glover
Tackle: Kris Jenkins
Linebacker: Ray Lewis
Linebacker: Derrick Brooks
Linebacker: Brian Urlacher
Linebacker: Zach Thomas
Cornerback: Charles Woodson
Cornerback: Champ Bailey
Cornerback: Asante Samuel
Cornerback: Chris McAlister
Safety: Ed Reed
Safety: Troy Polamalu
Safety: Rodney Harrison
Safety: Brian Dawkins
Comments: Tough to leave Julius Peppers off this team, but he conveniently turned in a career year this season (his walk year), so he's docked for failing my sniff test.
Earlier this year I compared Charles Woodson's rather disappointing career to Winona Ryder's, and Raiders and Packers fans offered to make me a eunuch. I never said Woodson wasn't a great player; I just said he'd never delivered on the early promise of his career because he never went topless. Whatever, Woodson made the Pro Bowl again this year and might make it to Canton after all.
Specialists
Punter: Shane Lechler
Punter: Jeff Feagles
Kicker: Adam Vinatieri
Kicker: Mike Vanderjagt
Punt returner: Devin Hester
Punt returner: Dante Hall
Kick returner: Devin Hester
Kick returner: Dante Hall
Coach: Bill Belichick
Coach: Tony Dungy
Comments: In Ray Guy and Shane Lechler, the Raiders might have the two best punters in league history, a tidbit you won't find listed in their game-day media notes.
Cam Martin also writes for Comcast SportsNet New England and BugsandCranks.com. E-mail: cdavidmartin@yahoo.com
