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Professional athletes amaze us in so many ways that it's only fair that we recognize some areas in which they are sorely deficient.
In general, they aren't very good at things like sincerity, humility and honesty. Basically, the qualities that most people find appealing in a spouse have been replaced in elite athletes by things like jumping 11 feet in the air or throwing a pitch 100 miles per hour.
Maybe it's a fair trade off.
However, occasionally, these genetic faults in athletes are glaring and painful. One such time is when an athlete has to apologize for something.
For instance, when Mark McGwire was asked by a congressional committee if he considered taking steroids cheating, he said, "That's not for me to determine."
No, Mark, but in one painful appearance in D.C., the entire country determined everything they needed to about you as a person.
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The thing is these athlete apologies could be so much better. If they weren't written by PR hacks and lawyers, they could actually be effective rather than maddening.
As in the A-Rod fiasco, these press conferences leave more questions than answers. And what is the result? A Watergate-like investigation that proves that the cover-up was just as bad, or worse, that the original sin.
What we need is a little less calculation, a lot more remorse and realization that we are a nation of forgivers. Screw up all you want, but own up to it.
The one thing we will never forgive is being lied to. What does true remorse sound like? I'll give it a shot.
And if any unnaturally pumped-up athletes are reading, feel free to cut and paste.
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Sonny Amato is a CBSSPiN Columnist. Follow him at http://twitter.com/sonnysside
Sonny's Side Bounceback: Would you like to hear an athlete be totally apologetic? Think this speech would backfire? Drop him your funny, inane or insightful comment for his May Mailbag.
