| The PCS Rankings (Pop Culture Standings) |
| Updated: May 26, 2009 |
| News Item | Comment |
| Cleveland | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 1 | - | .986 |  | |  | Here's the difference for a city between being home to an iconic sports moment and being the answer to a future trivia question: LeBron's buzzer-beating 3-pointer to win Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals against Orlando will be remembered for as long as there is YouTube footage of local news anchors going gaga ... but only if the Cavs win the NBA title this season. If the Magic send them packing, Cleveland basketball years from now will be known only in connection with "In what city did LeBron James start his career before he won four NBA title with the New York Knicks?" (Hint: I'm pretty sure it wasn't "C., Charlotte.") |
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| Orlando Magic | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 2 | 5 | .943 | | |  | While Dwight Howard and Co. appear to have the heart and hustle to rock Cleveland, there's still a large hill to climb in the "conspiracy theory" discussion on whether the refs will allow them to take the series. For example, you can't bribe the refs with Disney tickets. If you've seen the phantom fouls they're calling against Orlando, you already know the refs live in Fantasyland. |
| Interleague play | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 3 | - | .912 | | |  | Yawn. Another boring weekend of who-cares novelty matchups. So what if San Diego hosts the Chicago Cubs? Wait, that was the one true NL game. Anyway, after Mark Teixeira jacked a broken-bat homer at homer-happy Yankee Stadium, so many NL teams are lining up to play there you have to beat them away with the other end of the broken bat. |
| Kobe | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 4 | 4 | .895 | SAME | |  | He's an angry, angry man right now. He's angry that his Western Conference finals series with Denver is tied at two. He's seething that Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian beat Kobe Doin' Work at the box office this weekend. And he's furious that LeBron is getting all the buzz for those puppet commercials. |
| Denver Nuggets | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 5 | - | .832 | | |  | Is this team ready for the national spotlight if it beats the Lakers? Some are already wondering if Chris Andersen is being over-praised by virtue of the fact that he's white. "Birdman" has vowed that next week he will get so many extra tattoos that no one would be able to tell what his real skin is like under there. |
| Gisele Bundchen | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 6 | - | .806 | | |  | The rumor mill says she's expecting her first baby with hubby Tom Brady. Along with his first child from Bridget Moynahan, it's time to cue the "Brady Bunch" headlines. To round out a full set of faces on the TV screen grid, they can hire Madonna for the "Alice the Maid" role and she can drag along the kids she adopted. |
| Helio Castroneves | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 7 | - | .769 | | |  | We're glad that whatever problems he had are now behind him thanks to an Indy 500 win. But there's something about the whole tax lawsuit that whenever we see him we'll think of Vince Vaughn's line from Old School: "I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about." |
| French Open | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 8 | - | .741 | | |  | The men's side will be excruciating until the Nadal-Federer showdown in the finals. But there's no shortage of ladies in the draw to get behind. Would more Americans be interested if a Maria Sharapova match were billed as "Watch chicks play in clay!" Anyone know if Roland Garros hosts mud wrestling in the offseason? |
| New Zealand millions | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 9 | - | .654 | | |  | Did you hear about the couple said to have run off with $2 million of the $6 million put in their account due to bank error? Tell them not to buy luxury Yankees tickets while evading Johnny Longarm, because they'll stick out like a sore thumb in the empty seats. |
| Sasha Grey | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 10 | - | .586 | | |  | The adult film star is getting attention by starring in a Steven Soderbergh drama called The Girlfriend Experience. It earned about $7,000 per screen at 30 screens across the country. Box office analysts say that represents about one-tenth of 1 percent of her Internet exposure in one hour. |
| Playoff Beards | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 11 | - | .541 | | |  | It's the best thing the NHL has going for it in the postseason: a tradition of growing facial hair for as long as your team is alive. With the Carolina Hurricanes and Chicago Blackhawks on the brink of elimination, their players have to start thinking about how they'll remove their lucky-charm chin hair. Anyone have a razor shaped like a Zamboni? |
| Danica Patrick | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 12 | - | .499 | | |  | Not that female races have to prove themselves in IRL circles, but third place at the Indy 500 is better than third place at a beauty pageant. Or maybe this will pave the way for beauty pageants to start having open wheel races replace bathing suit modeling as part of competition. |
| Drag Me To Hell | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 13 | - | .477 | | |  | No, we're not talking about the upcoming Sam Raimi horror movie starring Alison Lohman. It's what we think every time we see a commercial reminding us that the WNBA season is about to start. |
| Rachel Alexandra | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 14 | 2 | .474 |  | |  | Will she or won't she race in Belmont? Typical female horse. It's like she can't decide if she's going to the prom or not. And even when she commits, she'll probably need an extra half hour to get ready once you've shown up at the door to pick her up. |
| Jeremy Shockey | | Current | Previous | Pct. | Rise/Fall | | 15 | - | .327 | | |  | The NFL's poster boy for "I'm a party guy who plays at an elite level, but please ignore the fact I haven't won a Super Bowl" was hospitalized in Vegas for dehydration. The injury is not expected to affect his ability to grab the spotlight for reasons other than on-the-field excellence. |
| Also receiving votes: Jose Canseco (knocked out of MMA match in Japan in 77 seconds. His opponent knew the secret was to bounce a baseball off Jose's head). ... Syracuse lacrosse (congrats to national champs. Now someone teach the kids at Utah how to run around carrying sticks with nets at the end of them so they have a shot at winning a national title that has nothing to do with the BCS). ... Jay Leno vs. Conan O'Brien (what's the big deal? They're going to be doing basically the same shows but at different times of night. You'd think NBC was trying to make us think their arrival is more important than a 3D Howard Stern channel). ... American Idol (sure some dope finally won this year's competition, but we'd rather listen to Carl Lewis' national anthem while locked in a coffin covered by an army of fire ants that watch one more second of that show). ... Red Wings (team of veterans is trying to win one more Stanley Cup before Detroit union reps try to cut off their pensions). |
 PCS Crystal Ball:June 14, 2011: In a ratings stunt, The Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien fights Jose Canseco in a Mixed Martial Arts match. Washed up Canseco is beaten so soundly that he accuses O'Brien of taking a performance enhancer: "Anyone with hair that orange has got to be on something." |
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