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Each week in Urbs' Blurbs you'll find three examples of pure stupidity -- no, I don't count as one -- and the Getty Hotty of the Week. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Non-college going college football fans
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When it comes to being a fan of a sports team, there really are no rules. And when it comes to the teams I root for, I can't say there is any clear method to my madness. I've liked the 49ers since I can remember watching football, but I've yet to step foot on the West Coast. I like the Houston Rockets, but only for my favorite player, who probably won't be with the team much longer and has had an injury-riddled career. I like the Seattle Mariners, but only for my favorite player, who probably won't be in the league much longer and has had an injury-riddled career. I like the Pittsburgh Penguins, which actually makes sense seeing as I was born just outside the 'Burgh. But, I like the Florida State Seminoles because I graduated from there.
When it comes to college sports, I can't stand when people who have never stepped foot in a college classroom claim to be as big of a fan as I am. The last time I checked, NCAA football is played by students who attend a school. I can't say I've ever seen someone shave the logo of a local high school, which they didn't actually attend, into their chest hair. So why is it cool to do the same thing with a school for slightly older kids? I understand a lot of people grow up cheering for the local college football team and continue their fandom throughout their lives, but if you never attended or even applied to your favorite team's school, the game's not as important and not as meaningful to you as it is to me. Period.
Air sex competitions
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What is air sex, you ask? For those of you not informed on the latest ways to publicly prove you didn't receive enough attention as a child, air sex is a competition in which participants mimic sexual positions, gyrations and happy endings. Before you start thinking about how cool something like this could be, take a minute to think about the people who sign up for such a show. In order to win, you need to practice having sex often. No, not with real people, you need to practice humping the air.
The best air sexers, the Kobe Bryants of air sex if you will, are the ones who've been having air sex since they were kids. While Kobe would sleep with a basketball dreaming of scoring every night as a kid, the top air sex participants slept alone dreaming of scoring every night as a kid. While Tiger Woods and his father worked on chipping balls out of the sand trap, the top air sex participants and their father worked on grabbing butts out at the "Booby Trap." I know this all started with air guitar, so it's clearly only a matter of time before we'll be playing "Porn Hero" on the XBox 360. I just better receive some sort of residual check when it sells a billion copies.
Players being injured while celebrating
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Having played sports nearly my entire life, there are few things athletes fear more than finding themselves sprawled out on the field of play with a major injury. Having had some of the worst luck when it comes to sports my entire life, I found myself in such a situation during a flag-football game in college. As much of a p---- as I sound like when I say it happened during "flag" football, at least I can say it happened while I was trying to make a play for my team. For others, there is no one to blame but the man in the mirror – no, that's not another MJ tribute.
From a Hobbit who tore his knee ligaments celebrating a field goal to a soccer player celebrating a goal that was later called off, injuring yourself while celebrating is the easiest way to instantly prove you're a douche since Ed Hardy shirts came out. As hilariously funny as this picture of Bill Gramatica grasping for his knee truly is, Chicago Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster took things to a whole new level last week. Dempster injured himself celebrating also, that's true, but Dempster wasn't even on the field of play at the time. He was trying to get there. If that wasn't good enough, this photo captured the moment just after he broke his toe trying to scale the dugout fence. Not only do we get to see Dempster struggle to pick himself back up, a young Cubs fan is doing his best Nelson from The Simpsons to make this a true Kodak moment.
SPiN's Getty Hotty of the Week: Nikki Griffin
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As producer of SPiN, I spend plenty of time each week searching through Getty Images' millions of pictures to get the perfect pic for every story. From time to time, certain pictures happen to catch my eye and I have to do a little more research into the matter. As my good deed of the week and as part of Urbs' Blurbs every Sunday, I'll introduce you to the Getty Hotty of the Week. To get things started we have this picture of the gorgeous Nikki Griffin taken July 9 at the premiere of HBO's 'Entourage'. It wasn't just the supreme side-boob shot that drew me to this picture, though it did help, but I can't say I've ever heard of Nikki Griffin, which can only lead me to believe that you haven't either.
While her name may not be household at this time, the 31-year old Griffin made her television debut on Dawson's Creek in 1999. Her first major recurring role came on FOX's The O.C., in 2005. That same year Griffin played the role of a sexy college girl in The Dukes of Hazzard, nearly losing out in the best actress vote to Reese Witherspoon. More recently Griffin appeared in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, the hilariously witty sitcom on the greatest network in the world, CBS. (I'm not contractually obligated to do that, but I get 1,200 free shares of CBS stock with every mention.) In 2009, you can catch Griffin in Penthouse (it's the name of a film you pervert), Grinder and The Tribe.
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Photos by Getty Images
