1. Character Crush
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Whether you watch the hit television show House for its witty banter, interesting medical mysteries or likeable personalities, there is no denying the natural beauty of Thirteen and her role on the sitcom. She first made an appearance on the show as a sexy intern looking to find a permanent role, but we all knew the producers wouldn't deprive fans of such an up-and-coming star.
Thirteen (Olivia Wilde) may be suffering from a disease that threatens to end her life early, but it forces her to live on the edge with no regard for her future. Yet she still finds a way to be the sweet, caring doctor every patient dreams about. As the show progressed. it was quite obvious Thirteen was extremely lonely and wanted a special person to share her situation with, but despite your loyalty to the show, you just don't have what it takes to be her Dr. Eric Foreman.
And even though you have a thing for girls that don't like to follow rules, you are probably more intrigued by Thirteen's affinity for swapping spit with other appealing ladies. Because let's face it, that girl-on-girl scene in the fourth season of House is something that you play over and over again when you are home alone Friday nights. And just because you would need a chaperone to handle yourself with a girl like this doesn't mean you don't have a shot, because doctors are more likely to take on charity cases than any other women.
2. Selecting Suds
In my first column, I featured the growingly popular Blue Moon and the situations that fit best for the brew. This week brings us another Belgian white ale very similar to Blue Moon, which offers some alternatives for the fans of that beer. Not only does Shock Top have the coolest name for beer ever, but it brings a slightly stronger orange zing with a lighter feel than its counterpart.
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While I was first introduced to this beer on July 4 at Irish Kevin's in Key West, I've noticed that it's offered on tap in local bars as well. Originally introduced as a seasonal beer in February 2006, it became available year-round in November of 2007. I was planning on talking about the ingredients and brewing of Shock Top, but I didn't understand the explanation, so I will tell you the beer tastes best in a tall, wide-mouthed glass along with salads and Asian cuisine. Notice there is no mention of an orange slice in the equation!
If you are a fan of Blue Moon, this is a beer you should try, but if you prefer more of the natural hops and barley taste, I would pass. Either way, how can you not be a fan of a beer that has a man with an orange Mohawk representing the tap at the bars. And just think, if you ask that girl who has been eyeing you at the bar if she would like a taste of your Shock Top, you are either going to get slapped or lucky, leaving you with a story worth telling your friends in either case.
3. Shameful Conduct
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No matter how old you are or how long you have been following baseball, you have a favorite player--one you relate to for some inexplicable reason and one whose at-bat you wouldn't dare miss, unless you were stuck in a supply closet with Thirteen. And despite being a Mets fan, my favorite player of all time is Craig Biggio. The guy was a gamer who was always dirty and holds the major league record for most hit by pitches. He stands for everything that makes baseball what it is, and if I were to find out he cheated in any way, not only would I be devastated, but I'd find it hard to regain respect for the game itself.
Now with this most recent report of more players testing positive for illegal substances -- including David Ortiz, who I'm sure is a favorite player for thousands of Red Sox fans -- I would like to know what fans think when their favorite player is accused of cheating. I'd ask this question: "Would you rather your favorite player of all time admit to using illegal substances like a man or would you rather not find out about the shameful conduct at all and just continue admiring your hero?"
It's a tough decision that basically comes down to coming to terms with the fact that the man you grew up admiring and modeling your game after is a fraud, or never knowing you spent thousands of hours of your life following a player who didn't deserve your admiration. While I find this one of the most interesting questions I've asked, I've always been the type of person who wants to know the truth no matter what the circumstances. I could always forgive my favorite player as long as he was honest and dealt with the situation like a professional.
4. Gutshot Draw
I have been playing poker competitively for about eight years, and despite all the bad beats, big cashes and major disappointments, there has always been one aspect of the game that never ceases to amaze me: grown men acting like a 5-year-old who didn't receive enough presents Christmas morning.
Many people are aware of the emotions shown on television for the major tournaments, and I have no problem with the uncontrolled outbursts and even embarrassing crying that takes place when someone leaves a major tournament short of major cash. But I'm referring to the inconsiderate actions of grown men toward each other and even women.
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Whether it be online or live at a casino, I can't count the number of times I have heard one man berate another for the way he played a hand. I usually escalates into the two of them saying they will play each other heads-up for a lot of money. And of course, when that doesn't happen because both are scared to back up their own ridiculous claims of masculinity, it never fails that one of them will come up with the brilliant idea to go outside and settle things the "manly way." Yeah, that's a great idea: Let's go outside a casino, where there are hundreds of high-tech cameras, and proceed to send each other to jail and the hospital because one guy got unlucky and lost a few bucks to the other guy.
For a game that requires a special level of patience, intuitive thinking and analytical reasoning, I don't understand how so many morons are involved. And it's not just the average Joes who are guilty. Whether it's Phil Hellmuth Jr. frequently calling other players idiots at the table, Scotty Nguyen pulling off drunk tirades while winning major championships or some male chauvinist at the local casino referring to a lady as a female dog, I have no respect for these personalities no matter how much money they've won.
5. Twitter Quick Hitter
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On Thursday, July 30 at 1:27 a.m., MTV reality TV star Heidi Montag wrote, "Watching tv and reading the Bible."
Seriously Heidi? Do you really think anyone is going to believe that you are reading the Bible at 1 o'clock in the morning? Just because you come across as being more dense than a pool full of liquid mercury doesn't mean your fans are just as gullible.
And unless you're a priest or planning on running a church ceremony, who actually reads the Bible in their free time. The literature in history's all-time best seller is borderline unreadable. Experts can't even agree on what it all means. And unless you are reviewing the long list of previous boyfriends, nobody is going to believe you're reading up on Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
It doesn't count if you have the book lying open on your bed while you're waiting for the nail polish on your toes to dry. I am, however, willing to accept the fact that maybe your tweet just got cut off because what you were trying to say is, "Watching tv and reading the Bible of Gossip." Either way, you should probably stop pulling the wool over the eyes of your fans, Miss Heidi "From Who You Are" Montag.
6. Recess Rant
While St. Louis is widely known as one of the greatest sports cities in the nation, with fans second to none, it's not one of the mainstream cities in the kickball community. But that's starting to change thanks to leagues like St. Louis Big Balls Kickball.
This innovative league was created in 2007 and has grown from 14 Sunday teams to 160 teams and 2,500 players playing on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday year-round. No matter a player's age or ability, the league offers 12 full games along with playoffs, a league T-shirt, certified game officials, bar specials and fundraising opportunities for $45 a season.
And since we all know that St. Louis is the home of Anheuser-Busch brewery, which is actually a mile away from the league's park, players arrive to the field well prepared to enjoy a healthy amount of adult beverages. As expected, the fun continues at the local bars once the games are complete. When it comes to actual play, St. Louis Big Balls is different from many other leagues in that no bunting is allowed, giving the ladies in the co-ed league more of an opportunity to participate.
As you can see, there is more of an emphasis on having fun in this league with team names like Hot Dogs and Tacos, Conan and the Ballbarians and Who Wants a Moustache ride. And of course, all the teams dress to appropriately represent their team name. While it doesn't seem like this league has much competition, it has put together what it refers to as the "Pro Team." The league holds tryouts for this team as it travels to national tournaments like the South Florida Open, where it was placed in the "pool of death" and held its own against nationally ranked teams. Since that tournament, expectations continue to grow, and the "Pro Team" has been dominating opponents in Iowa City, Little Rock and at the Show-Me State Games in Columbia, Mo., where they were crowned state champions.
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Photos by Getty Images
Check out Casey's blog, No Joy in Mudville.
