SPiN's Hottest Significant Other Tournament: Finals

Who is hotter?   32%  Elisha Cuthbert     68%  Jennifer Walcott     Total Votes: 5129

Thanks to a nubile beauty who hasn't met a camera she couldn't devour, we won't be treated to an all-Ohio finale in SPiN's Hottest Significant Other Tournament.

Eighth-seeded Jennifer Walcott, who survived a thrilling overtime victory against Eva Longoria in the Savory 16, will square off against sixth-seeded Elisha Cuthbert in the championship.

Walcott, a native of Youngstown, Ohio, was destined to face another Playmate from the Buckeye State, second-seeded Carmella DeCesare, in the final. But DeCesare fell behind early and couldn't mount a serious fight against Canadian actress Cuthbert, falling 61-39. In the other semifinal, Walcott steamrolled model/nanny Elin Nordegren, 73-27.

Why the projection of an all-Ohio finale, you ask? By our unscientific guesstimate, we figure 50 percent of the voluminous reader e-mails we received came from Ohio. Witness this classic from Cindy in Dayton: "Jen Walcott is so beautiful inside and out; I wish her the best. Silicone may save your life some day, so don't bust on silicone (no pun intended). Jen No. 1."

It just so happens that SPiN was able to secure a brief interview with Walcott at the amazing Playboy party in Detroit last weekend. Walcott was dressed as -- you guessed it -- a bunny. She was decked out in a revealing electric blue leotard that exposed large amounts of décolletage. And she wore bunny ears. Her teeth are impossibly white and men generally stare at her for a solid five to 10 seconds before asking to take a picture with her.

Eighth-seeded Jennifer Walcott faces off against her friend, sixth-seeded Elisha Cuthbert.

Q: How did you meet St. Louis Rams safety Adam Archuleta?

A: I was in Vegas one weekend with friends, and a mutual friend came up to me and said they wanted me to meet somebody. And this was the first time I was single in my entire life. So I met Adam and we hung out the whole weekend. We've been together ever since.

Q: Many, many fans have sent us e-mails telling us how they see you at Rams games and yell marriage proposals, among other things, at you. Is this true, or are our faithful readers dreaming?

A: It is true. The fans in St. Louis are great and very nice. They come up to me all the time. I go to all the home games.

Q: How did you get 'discovered?'

A: I was doing makeup for a girl at the Playboy Mansion. After I was done, I got all dressed up in this beautiful dress and snuck down the party. It was Valentine's Day, and photographers kept taking pictures of me, and people were asking who I was. That's when I thought I'd get in trouble for sneaking in, but Hef asked me if I'd like to be a Playmate, and that was that.

Q: What would you be doing if you weren't a Playmate?

A: I'd be a makeup artist, and a darn good one.

Q: Do you know Elisha Cuthbert?

A: We're actually friends! Well, not best friends or anything, but we were friendly a couple years ago. We were both out at dinner one night with a bunch of people, and I got some kind of food poisoning from the meal. There was a celebrity at the table, so everybody was paying attention to him [celebrity name redacted], and nobody wanted to come outside with me so I could get some fresh air. But she did. And we kind of bonded. She's really nice.

Q: Unfortunately, we were duped into showing readers a fake Jennifer Walcott Myspace account. Do you have a real one?

A: There are so many of them! Don't feel bad. I went on there one day and I felt like I had to take control and make one of my own. So I've got www.myspace.com/therealjenniferwalcott [Readers will note a rather fetching picture of Jennifer and semifinal loser Carmella DeCeSare].

Lest you think we're not giving Cuthbert a fair shake, we tried really hard to find her Myspace profile, but there are approximately 97 fakes, and we don't have time to go through them all.

The best we could do was her NHL blog, which hasn't been updated since Nov. 21. That final post includes the segment, "Sean Avery scored our second goal of the night. Somehow I feel like that might change things a little for him in the games to come. Watch out for Avery."

And as always, we present to you reader e-mail, several of which terrified us:

Mike from Fort Lauderdale said: "Jenn Walcott ... come on, is there even a competition? I have met Jenn in person many times and not only is she beautiful, she has a great personality and is just an all around nice girl. She will probably dump Archuleta when she wins this competition, but for her, it was well worth sticking it out for the title. I am really just kidding on that last statement. Good luck Jennifer!!"

[Shaking Mike furiously] Wake up, man! Wake up!

Chuck from Miami said: "Elisha Cuthbert should be crowned the hottest chick in this contest as she clearly stands out compared to the rest of these dames. We know who'll win it. Congrats, Ms. Cuthbert."

Dames? Chuck, allow us to introduce you to the 21st century.

Mark from Sacramento said: "A heap big pile of lovelies here, but Jennifer Walcott is head and shoulders above the rest, no contest, really."

Your eighth-grade English teacher must be proud, Mark.