View from the Bleachers: Divorce, sports style

Big-time athletes don't get quiet divorces. Like all celebrities, they don't get to do this very private act in private. Sports fans learn every lurid detail of the athlete's home and away life. The divorce hearings are as much a part of the public record as yesterday's box score. Years ago, public figures were protected by the press -- maybe too much. Today, all kinds of private things are reported -- maybe too much.

The big question is, why do people care so much about the details of sports divorces?

Whatever you do, Michael, don't raise your arms in court. (Getty Images)

Two of the latest to make the news are Mets All-Star catcher Paul Lo Duca and New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan. No, they weren't married to each other -- but that's exactly the kind of sensationalism that characterizes sports divorce coverage.

Strahan's the New York Giants' defensive lineman with the deodorant commercial in which everyone passes out when he lifts his arms. If that didn't embarrass him, I guess whatever his wife's saying about him won't either.

Strahan's wife accused him of philandering with other women, and then more recently, has implied that Strahan is gay. This interesting sexual combo was a natural for headlines. In court, she said she was devastated because he didn't remember her birthday. A husband who doesn't remember his wife's birthday might be stupid and insensitive, but if stupidity and insensitivity were grounds for divorce, how many people would still be married?

No, it's the "he's gay" accusation that gets the headlines. She knew she was hitting the macho athlete below the belt. Maybe it was that forgetting the birthday thing. But what does all this have to do with how well he plays football? Why should fans even care what players are gay and which ones are straight?

Paul Lo Duca's another story. His wife, a former Playboy model, wants a divorce because she says he had an affair with a 19-year-old woman he met at a bar. Despite the 19-year-old since calling Lo Duca "a scumbag," his wife apparently has an even lower opinion of him.

One of the things that came out of the Lo Duca proceedings is that Lo Duca is in debt and likes to gamble. An athlete who gambles is a legitimate story. But many more words have been written about Lo Duca's wife having been a Playboy model and a soft-core porn star than about his gambling. What do her activities have to do with him as an athlete?

I know I'm writing to advocate that writers should write less about athletes' divorces, and in so doing, I'm writing about them. But I don't know how else I can get my point across.

I guess there are some legitimate times for sportswriters to cover athletes' divorces. When Annika Sorenstam divorced, there was much speculation about how this would affect her game. Would she be depressed and play worse, or would she be more focused now that golf was the only important thing in her life? It's quite possible that her divorce ended up not affecting her game at all, but it didn't bother me too much to hear those questions asked.

After all, when DiMaggio's first wife, Dorothy Arnold, threatened divorce in 1942, Jumpin' Joe developed ulcers and went into a slump. So, it's possible that a divorce can be an appropriate sports story.

But we don't need to know the details. We don't need to see photos or videotapes. We don't need to hear tapes made by private investigators. We don't need to know the names the spouses called each other.

Being called a 'scumbag' by a 19-year-old is pretty bad. (Getty Images)

Some people like to watch successful people topple. It's very Shakespearean, but also a little sick. There was a time when people actually felt sad for famous people who got divorced. The nation was devastated when Lucy and Ricky split up. And hearts went out to both DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe when they divorced. Today, it seems to be fodder for jokes.

Now, people laugh at the huge celebrity divorce settlements, at the outlandish accusations, and at the ways a wayward spouse gets caught. Opposing fans taunt the divorced or about-to-be divorced athlete. It's not exactly a classy thing to yell things like, "Hey, Lo Duca. What was the over-under of how long your marriage was going to last?"

So, who's at fault here? Is it the athlete who can't get divorced in a private, tasteful way? Or is it the public's seemingly insatiable desire for dirt? I think it's both.

So, what can we do? If we happen to be elite athletes, we can conduct ourselves with dignity. And if we're in the larger populace who watches those athletes play, we don't have to be so nosey.

Let's put it this way: If you don't want to be part of the problem, try not to spread that rumor about Michael Strahan and Paul Lo Duca being a couple.