ClayNation Dixieland Delight College Football Tour: SEC Championship

In the past 13 weeks of the DDT, I've traveled 8,382.5 miles. I've been to 11 Southern states and I've seen every team in the SEC play at their home stadium. I've seen blowouts and overtime games, SEC contenders and bottom tier hopefuls, hot girls and hot girls. I've hung out with SEC fans of all races and creeds, and if you live in the South, there's probably a good chance I've come close to your home during my road trips. At long last, after a season spent driving through fall, the DDT reached its final destination, Atlanta, for the crowning of the SEC champion.

During the Civil War, it was a truism that all Southern trains eventually led to Atlanta. When Atlanta fell in 1864, it ensured that Abraham Lincoln was reelected President. When the city played host to the 1996 Olympics, it was tangible evidence to generations of Southerners that the South had truly risen again.

As a child, Atlanta loomed so large in the Southern consciousness that each time we drove through the city en route to Florida, my mom always said, "If Sherman saw Atlanta now, he'd say, 'Hey, I thought I burned this place down.'" I've heard this joke, conservatively, 5,000 times. Mom's Sherman-channeling was one of the highlights of the Florida trip. And now fans from across the SEC spend their falls aspiring for their teams to reach the city come December. So it was that I embarked upon the final stop of the DDT.

1. Each time I visit Atlanta, the city seems more overwhelming. Whenever I go out, I feel lost. You know how they say that kudzu grows an inch every day no matter what happens? I feel like Atlanta grows a mile every day no matter what happens. If you had an aerial view of the city of Atlanta, it would be like those time-lapse photographs that are used to show great change in a certain place. Only the time-lapse photograph would be in real-time when it comes to Atlanta. Things seem to change that rapidly. At some point in the next century, I firmly believe every city in Georgia will be an Atlanta suburb.

2. After Friday night out in Atlanta, I end up at the Majestic Diner at 3 in the morning. It's a large collection of intoxicated people, small-time felons and SEC football fans. Perhaps these groups overlap. Several Gator fans are doing the Gator chomp and a couple of Arkansas fans are calling the hog. Kickoff is 15 hours away.

3. Thirteen hours later, I'm outside the Georgia Dome and fans are still doing the Gator chomp and calling the hogs. I was concerned what the ticket market would be like at the stadium, but those concerns are immediately erased. Face value on a ticket is $60. Several blocks away from the stadium, I buy one in the upper deck for $40. The young guy who sells me the ticket says, "Man I'm gonna end up sitting beside you. I'm getting killed out here."

4. If you were an Arkansas or Florida fan and you didn't come to the game because you were worried about ticket prices, you were not alone. There are tons of seats for sale as I make my way to the Dome. In 13 weeks of traveling, I've had to pay more than face value for a ticket just twice, at Florida for the South Carolina game and at Georgia for the Tennessee game. Otherwise seats have been plentiful. I'm not sure this is always the case, but I've seen lots of big games. I suspect if you're willing to show up, you can get into most games for a reasonable price.

5. I meet Nathan Ealy in the George World Congress Center, which is located next door to the Georgia Dome. This place is enormous and filled with fans. Nathan has a corporate hospitality pass for me thanks to the fact that he does various on-air production for ISP Sports and Auburn. He has agreed to take the risk of being my chaperone amid the big-wigs of the SEC. We walk inside. The seating area is cavernous and there are more men in suits than I've ever seen at a football game. Seriously, who are these guys that wear suits to the football game? If I was choosing who to do business with and I had to choose between a guy who wore a suit to a football game and the guy who dressed like a normal person, I'm picking the normal person 100 percent of the time. Who wouldn't? Vanderbilt fans, that's who.

6. There are two huge projection screen televisions flanking the band. Each screen features the Wake Forest-Georgia Tech game. When Wake wins, everyone watching cheers. I'm sure this cheering has nothing to do with lingering SEC bitterness over Georgia Tech's defection and everything to do with Wake Forest. After all, Southern people never hold grudges.

Bringing down the SEC house. (Photo/Clay Travis)

7. The band is playing Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton. I'll tell you, nothing gets my blood boiling for a championship game like a soulful rendition of Wonderful Tonight. If the band could have just followed up Wonderful Tonight with Tears in Heaven, I think people would have formed a mosh pit in front of the stage and they would have had to call the fire marshals.

8. There is ample food, and Nathan and I sit down to eat with his co-workers Jay McPhillips and Krissy Ellis. There are, however, no Golden Flake potato chips to be seen in the corporate area. This is shocking to me. Somebody at Golden Flake really got hosed here.

9. UCLA and USC comes on the big screens. Florida fans in the area all flock to the television. I decide to head down to the SEC FanFare. But just before I leave, Nathan informs me you have to pay to get in. So Krissy offers up her wristband. Both of us struggle to get the band off without ripping it too noticeably. "I used to be much better at this in college," Krissy says. Didn't we all, Krissy, didn't we all.

My hosts in the rarefied air: Nathan Ealy, Jay McPhillips and Krissy Ellis. (Photo/Clay Travis)

10. My refashioned band works fine, and I arrive at FanFare to see games aplenty. Unfortunately there are also lots of kids monopolizing said games. There's a quarterback accuracy challenge, a kicking challenge and a large flag football field. There are also tons of flat-screen televisions showing highlights from each SEC football team. During my entire time in the FanFare area, I see no one actually watching these highlights. They should keep FanFare open for adults to play after hours. I'd love to see some fat drunken old guys trying to play flag football. Adults are dealing with the pain of not being able to play any of the games by drinking beer. Lots of beer.