...A week of hype and hysteria later, and the XFL NBC ratings are sliced in half. All the revolutionary rule changes and smashmouth play aren't happening like the XFL imagined. The XFL claimed that fourth down would be the most exciting down in history with their "live punts" and "no fair catches." Like in the NFL, the only time an XFL team will recover their own punt is if the returner drops it.
The opening scramble is a can't miss, the all-access halftime makes the time fly by. The overtime I saw on Saturday was compelling too. It's all the stuff in between these highlights that needs work -- you know, like the talent?
 | |
| Vince McMahon hasn't delivered on many of the promises of excitement with his XFL. (AP) | |
...If the XFL could add rules, I think they should look to this one: when a player commits any penalty, the yards are marked off as usual and that player sits out one play and cannot be replaced, leaving several 11 on 10 scenarios. Suppose your quarterback gets called for intentional grounding -- who runs the play then? Or a lineman false starts? It would bring an element to the game that's been lost since the first quarter of Week 1: Curiosity.
...I thought Jim Ross did a good job Sunday introducing himself to the rest of the world, but someone's got to give Jerry Lawler a valium and Brian Bosworth a muzzle.
...Hello, Matt Vasgersian. That worked out well, didn't it? It might be back to video game commercials and Milwaukee Brewers baseball for you!
...The Big Hero: L.A. Xtreme QB Tommy Maddox for performing like a quarterback and pulling out a victory from the jaws of defeat with three minutes left in regulation. Maddox proves it's never too late to recreate a career.
...The Big Zero: The NBC production crew, for losing power to its truck -- a generator ran out of gas -- and missing most of the first quarter of the L.A.-Chicago game. Twenty bucks says Vasgersian was behind it.
...Vince McMahon on Sunday: "This is the best damn football in February." Vince really must be a genius -- he's only correct because it's also the only football in February. Other statements McMahon might say include: "The XFL football is the best damn black and red football ever made by Spalding," and "This XFL season is by far the best damn XFL season in XFL history."
...Birmingham's press release announced that tight end Nicky Savoie is scheduled to marry Winston motorcycle drag racing champion Angelle Seeling. Boy, what a daredevil couple they'll make -- she works in a field where one mistake could make her crash and burn, and he works on a field in a league that could crash and burn.
...Kurt Gouveia is 6-feet-1, 245 pounds, and 36 years old, and he returned a fumble 100 yards Sunday. Is the league so talent hungry that they can't find a guy to track down someone with the speed of a bowling ball?
...While fans in Las Vegas and Orlando cheer in delight, fans in Chicago grow disappointed with their team -- losing two games they should have won. All right, who snuck the Chicago Bears into the XFL?
...According to New York's press release, Hitmen coach Rusty Tillman said that he would wait until viewing the game film to name a starting quarterback for this Sunday's game. Hey, Rusty, it's not like it's brain surgery -- Charles Puleri threw for an astounding 12 yards in the first half Sunday. Replacing him with one of the cheerleaders might be a sound alternative at this point.
...Chicago's the best 0-2 team in the XFL, but by default -- New York is the worst 0-2 team in the history of professional football.
...With the XFL running way over it's timeslot Saturday night, Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels was enraged that his show went on late. Combine that with the slashed ratings, and already NBC could be wishing for Bea Arthur to reprise her role on The Golden Girls to help save Saturday prime time.
...The New York Times quoted NBC Entertainment president Jeff Zucker as saying, "We are absolutely not abandoning the XFL. We are absolutely committed to it for the full season." Don't be modest, Jeff, you're about as convincing and behind the XFL as Warner Bros. was behind Bosworth's acting career.
...What's weirder: That NBC is already hinting at putting the XFL on the chopping block after Week 2 or that the XFL managed to get a time slot on NBC in the first place?
Where's the patience? Where's the "work in progress" attitude? NBC is about as impatient as a bus of sweaty fat kids outside a Baskin Robbins. For Saturday night, a 5 rating is a lot better than whatever show NBC had there before.
...My money is on NBC starting to crack under the pressure of the media for working with McMahon. Maybe the Parents Television Council has put in a call to Dick Ebersol already. After all, the mainstream media is painting the NBC/XFL relationship like it's Mister Rogers kissing Courtney Love.
...I'm sure Monday Night Football got its audience figured out after a while, but that show is still on the air five months a year, and with a worse babbler than Jesse Ventura. The next time NBC thinks about leveling off the XFL, someone should remind them of the NBA's sinking television ratings, and how the NBA is on NBC too.