Who's giving you a rash this week? Overpaid player? Underhanded agent? Obnoxious team owner? Some other sports wretch? Well, take your best shot. Sign your name, if you dare.
Just remember, Ray Buck, CBS SportsLine national columnist, has the last word. E-mail your comments to: rbuck@sportsline.com
E-mails over cocktails, while wondering what's in the water in Big D? To wit: Bonehead Barry develops brainlock at DFW, and suddenly everybody is Johnnie Cochran.
BUCKSHOT: I stand corrected. There is no comparison. Iverson has some talent.
BUCKSHOT: I'd say you put me in my place, Larry, except you just described "writing a column." Thanks for your keen interest.
BUCKSHOT: I appreciate your having an association with Iverson, but I never called him a "thug." I called him a "punk" -- there's a difference -- who has whined for months about being miscast as a "bad guy," then goes out and carelessly puts himself in the company of others who are reckless, law-breaking ... and dumb enough to get caught.
BUCKSHOT: Old goat to scapegoat. Could happen.
BUCKSHOT: I, until just recently, lived in Texas for 15 years. Secured guns in homes and cars were never a problem. Nitwits setting off airport security with loaded guns always troubled me, though.
"After seven years and three Super Bowls, the only one who gets credit is Jimmy Johnson. Suddenly, he's a genius, but old Jerry and Barry are still idiots or, as you put it, lightweights.
"Get over your childish tirades and start reporting the news and assessing everyone by the same standards. You think Jimmy is going to win in Miami? Want to put some money on it? He won't even get the Dolphins to the Super Bowl, much less win it."
BUCKSHOT: Of course, I've done some stupid things. Betting on any AFC team to win another Super Bowl in my lifetime would be one of them.
"I'd say make the pair of them (Switzer and Iverson) work every Friday and Saturday night in an inner-city ER room for at least a year, maybe they'd learn both humility and what guns are used for."
BUCKSHOT: Good idea, Dave. But that makes far too much sense to be considered in this country.
BUCKSHOT: Don't insult court jesters. It was a very honorable trade, or so I hear.
"There is a difference between illicit behavior and what Switzer did. If Jones really wanted to clean up the team, he should have found a way to rid the roster of Erik Williams."
BUCKSHOT: Williams, character aside, is a 328-pound offensive tackle. Switzer is a poor excuse for an NFL coach. Now what's your question?
"Start with Bam Morris and the Ravens. By the time you bleed that one dry, maybe someone else will screw up for you."
BUCKSHOT: Switzer is like your eccentric uncle whom you only see at Thanksgiving and Christmas -- two days that you make sure none of your friends are around.
"As for Switzer, what can you say? Oklahoma in the NFL. Flush him and get a coach worthy of the Pokes!"
BUCKSHOT: You're possibly a bit rough on our "Twin Whinos of the Week," Nick. But I do like a man with solutions.
BUCKSHOT: The man did what he did because he's a goober.
BUCKSHOT: I had to look those words up, Derek. You don't see them anymore. I think they went out with three-cornered hats and powdered wigs.
"He has blatantly violated NFL policy and whether, knowingly or unknowingly, committed a felony offense. If he walks, I will lose what little respect I have for the Dallas organization and the policies set forth by the governing agencies of professional sports."
(Editor's note: Switzer was charged with the lesser of two crimes: a Class A misdemeanor for carrying a handgun without a permit, which carries a maximum penalty of one year in jail and a $4,000 fine; whereas, he could've been charged with a third-degree felony, punishable up to 10 years in prison and up to $10,000.)
BUCKSHOT: Ever play Monopoly, Eric? Barry used that neat little "Get out of Jail for $75,000" card.
BUCKSHOT: Stay tuned. Switzer still has a job, which is a crime in itself.
"Last weekend, out of disgust for the sports scene, I watched a NASCAR race for the first time. You know what? I really enjoyed it. I have not seen any of these guys names on the police blotters.
BUCKSHOT: My theory on that is that everybody has an urge to break the law. NASCAR drivers satisfy theirs through legalized speeding.
"You may or may not agree with carrying a gun, which I no longer do, but his mistake is something that could happen to anyone. Matthew 7:1-5 (The Living Bible):
1 "Don't criticize, and then you won't be criticized.
2 For others will treat you as you treat them.
3 And why worry about a speck in the eye of a brother when you have a board
in your own?
4 Should you say, 'Friend, let me help you get that speck out of your eye,'
when you can't even see because of the board in your own?
5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the board. Then you can see to help your brother."
BUCKSHOT: Thank you for the confession and scripture. But with all due respect, I think Barry Switzer is going to have to take a number. In Dallas, "God's Coach" will always be Tom Landry.
BUCKSHOT: Yes, Boneman ... and boneheads will be boneheads.
Sorry, Pastor.